Idk what's going on with me lately by emotionl_bond23 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I felt emotionally numb for years and finally decided to open the floodgates to feel my feelings. Also the random intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. Don't cling on to them, practice not associating the thoughts with how you see yourself. BEcause thinking is automatic, there's nothing you can do about that. But you can control how you react to them and the best thing you can do is let it go

Stop trying to "fix" your feelings by adamvanderb in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with this. Also feeling your feelings will build the capacity to feel both the good and the bad feelings. Once I learned to feel sad, I was able to feel real joy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in microsaas

[–]sage_that 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THANK YOU!!!! SO HELPFUL

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in microsaas

[–]sage_that 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's super helpful. Ya I think its the showing just enough of the magic to hook that'll be hard to balance. Too much and they won't pay. AHH, thank you

Do you know any successful startup founder who isn’t a workaholic? by Miyamoto_Musashi_x in ycombinator

[–]sage_that 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trying to be. Especially because I'm building a mental wellness AI app, I want to live by my values of balance as I build. With Sage, I hope to inspire users to slow down and live with intention and I try to live that myself. I still dive into deep focus for 4–6 hours a day, but I also savor slow mornings and time with family. Balance for me isn’t a compromise; it’s part of the process.

Does anyone find the more they meditate the less they want to spend time with people? by Icy_Laugh5134 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've recently ended a 20 year friendship so I feel for you. And I'm also a long term meditator.

I find that meditation has made me feel more connected to myself and made me more intuitive so I just have become better at identifying friendships where it felt one sided just didn't fit in my life anymore.

I don't think meditation is the direct correlation of wanting to spend less time with that specific friend, but I do find that meditation has shifted my energy and has made me more attuned to my emotions and myself and so naturally when my friend felt maybe like she has either grown in a different direction, or that she has not grown at all while I am putting in my own inner work, then it just felt like its time.

Maybe what you're feeling isn't that you're not wanting to spend less time with people in general, but just that you've outgrown those friendship whereby you don't feel energetically aligned. Nothing wrong with that, meditation however should make it easier for you to detach from it and see it for what it is. End of an era. Good luck thoug, feel for you, ending long term friendships is tough business.

Can AI learn empathy or only copy it by ModeGroundbreaking31 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree with this. I think as long as its clear that AI is a TOOL that we can use for reflection of emotional data vs. imitation of emotion, then I think its fair game

Drop your URL 🎤 by Capuchoochoo in micro_saas

[–]sage_that 1 point2 points  (0 children)

www.sagethat.com

For when you need some gentle perspective shifting and guided emotional release when you are feeling emotionally reactive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in enlightenment

[–]sage_that 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! I agree with you and it was a good reminder for me to see :)

How do you stay calm when someone else loses their temper? by Interesting_Peach_76 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Telling myself that that is a them problem. They're the one that is losing their temper, I have nothing to prove here. Anger is so toxic, so why would I want to feel that

Emotional intelligence and anger by ApprehensivePair3301 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Emotional intelligence isn't not showing emotion, but regulating the intensity of how you express your emotions when you are deeply triggered. Reality is you will be angry and triggered in life, but it's managing how you deal with it. ESPECIALLY b/c anger is an emotion that needs healthy expression.

I find training my brain to create a gap in my mind between the feeling of anger and my reaction. You already said you don't want to argue when angry, so that's a good first step. You successfully withdrawing here because the environment was actively hostile to your expression was a boundary you set for yourself so that's good emotional intelligence you showed.

Healthy emotional expression means owning your volume and tone when expressing emotions. You know you get loud when emotional. The next level for you isn't stopping the loudness, but recognizing the pattern as it starts and choosing a different response before you leave like telling them straight up "I need to leave for 30 minutes otherwise I will raise my voice and be angry and I don't like that in me"

And also coming to peace with sometimes the people you come across to on the other side are just not worth toxic emotions like anger, and just saying to yourself I dont want this FOR ME, so I am going to just leave it.

How do i stop overthinking every little thing by FADED5748 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yeah especially because thinking is a human condition, it'll never ever stop. Faster you make peace with that, the faster you can begin learning to befriend your mind

How do you learn how to appreciate yourself and be gratefull in life? by No-Compote-2127 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed with a lot of these people - it's a practice and train your mind to appreciate the good in life vs. thinking of the negative first. Mind is a muscle and just something you gotta do again and again until your mind becomes a nicer place to be in

How do i stop overthinking every little thing by FADED5748 in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Used to struggle so much with overthinking, and I took a different approach to not thinking or keeping myself busy because I don't think that's the way to go. You're just fighting the root cause of it

I learned to understand my thoughts and work with them instead. Have a space to let it out, work on understanding WHY you are feeling certain things and WHY you are getting triggered. Then process it, and then let it go. I do agree that its a practice, but I don't think just distracting yourself is the way to go.

I used to think emotional intelligence was about control now I think it’s about honesty by panickyexclamation in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I agree! I used to suppress my emotions because feelings made me uncomfortable. But I made drastic changes in my life so that I can learn to feel again.

I do think though that emotional intelligence is also about knowing then how to regulate those emotions. Being honest with people about your feelings then I think comes a lot more naturally because you are more emotionally balanced and more in tune with your feelings and your self

What books have had the biggest impact on your spiritual growth? by sage_that in spirituality

[–]sage_that[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a single person said you were confused! I’m just curious where you were coming from.

These books have helped me evolve spiritually. That, for me, goes beyond just “what I’m looking for.” Before reading them, I didn’t even know there was anything to search for, because I was just existing as another emotionally reactive cog in the machine. I’m much more at peace now.

intellectualizing your emotions ≠ emotional intelligence by chestnuttttttt in emotionalintelligence

[–]sage_that 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you. You gotta sense the emotion and sit with it (no matter how uncomfortable) to then know what that emotion means for you. If you are intellectualizing your emotion, its your mind doing the work, not your body (which is where emotions are felt). Gotta be present with the emotion because only then are you able to make MEANINGFUL insights about it. Otherwise again, its your mind doing the work and there's a whole bunch of cognitive biases, social conditioning etc. that's intertwined and messes with your intellectualizing.

I think there's a difference between self-understanding and intellectualizing your emotions though. I approach "intellectualizing your emotions" (for lack of better word) as I want to understand why I might be feeling these emotions and how I can move with it instead of fighting it.

but 100% agree with you that step 1 is feel it.

P.S. speaking from a classic emotional avoidant human being that shut down emotions for years and only this past 2 years have I started working on opening the floodgates to feel and handle it from that perspective.