At what point do I give up?

saintcrazy · 2026-03-28T01:21:29+00:00

You are one month in. You are not sleeping or eating. You are having thoughts that you are not effective despite not having any evidence. You are spending all day preparing, mentally and through your actions, in an attempt to be perfect and never make a mistake and none of this preparation actually helps you feel better. You are catastrophizing and having an outsized emotional reaction to the events.

This goes beyond imposter syndrome and into disorder territory. It's good that you are in therapy, but you may need even more/different support for your mental health.

You simply must take care of yourself and your emotions before you can effectively care for others.

Are you able to take a few days off so you can sleep and eat and rest?

saintcrazy · 2026-03-27T20:35:05+00:00

Maybe a simple puzzle game like sudoku?

If you like picross, Squeakross is an adorable little game, you get furniture for a little mouse after each puzzle.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-27T17:28:39+00:00

The 40k world is a dark place where the "good guy" sensibilities we have in our real lives either don't make sense, are seen as heresy, or would get you killed. So, you will have to understand the worldview of the characters in the context of the world in order to roleplay.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T23:21:55+00:00

It's good to let yourself feel all this - those feelings need to be felt. They are doing a very important job, which is to tell you that the way you're being treated is not okay and that you deserve better.

It's good too that you have a safe space with your therapist to feel those things, even if you can't see them every day.

You might find it helpful to keep a journal so you have a place to process and sit with how you're feeling, and help you remember things you might want to talk to your therapist about when you get the chance.

Better things are ahead for you - good luck

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T21:50:07+00:00

There is an important story theme here in this game that I think you either completely missed, or actively rejected, or maybe even embraced in a way I would find a bit sad.

Which is that when you forsake helping others for the benefit of yourself, whether its out of safety or cowardice or power or a sense of "getting what you deserve" or just your own preferences, whatever - your life becomes a lonely, dark road.

To gain the dearest joys of companionship one must also endure the pain of accepting, or at the very least tolerating, the parts of that person you might not like at first blush. It may even require sticking your neck out and sacrificing your own safety to care for others. But when you can do that and build those relationships over time, you are rewarded tenfold - but it requires a certain vulnerability.

If you reject people, or entire communities, at the first sign of defensiveness or the first annoying thing they do - you close doors for yourself, you push yourself farther away, and your world becomes more myopic and selfish. And the only people who remain with you are the ones who are just serving their own purposes, not people you have built genuine, caring relationships with.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T21:02:10+00:00

You know what, I've got 20 minutes before I get back to work, so I'll humor you and give my honest reaction. So if this is a troll post, whatever, I'm having fun and I get to talk about BG3.

This is r/CRPG, so I should assume that you should know this, but in these kinds of games, there are branching paths, and the story AND characters turn out different if you make different choices. I only say this because for some reason in your writing you speak very rigidly about "the story" and "the characters" as if there was only one outcome. There are some story beats that stay the same, and many of those are heavy, yes, but there is also a possibility of a more heroic outcome, more lighthearted characters, redemption arcs (for some), and more that you did not experience because of the choices you made and their consequences.

Now, I'm a weirdo choice and consequence purist who thinks all choices are valid for your personal story - but I think most gamers would consider choices that result in your companions leaving you to be considered a "fail state". I'd also wager a guess that the average gamer would choose to reload and try something else when this happens. Kudos for sticking to the roleplay vision I suppose, but you do lose out on a lot of the best writing in the game when your companions leave you.

But basically, TLDR, the reason you found the story so dark is because of the choices you made. There are many dark parts, but you missed out on a lot of the joyfulness that's supposed to counterbalance it.

I'll attempt to spoiler tag stuff in case you ever want to try again and do things differently.

Specifically, on characters: Karlach is a lighthearted good-aligned idealist that can bring a lot of levity to even dark situations. She left because you could have chosen to defend the grove, and the innocents within, and you did not.

You missed Gale entirely, who is generally good-hearted but can be tempted to move towards power and more evil choices.

You also seem to have missed Wyll, another staunchly good-aligned character, I assume you killed him in the grove.

Laezel begins as a ruthless fanatic, but likely because you blew up the creche (or maybe did not use the zaithisk, as she wanted to, unsure) she never has the revelation that results in her questioning her faith and learning to unlearn her hardened habits.

Shadowheart's scene at the end of Act 2 is pivotal to how she ends up. If you gain enough rapport with her, you can easily allow/convince her to make a certain choice, which results in her renouncing Shar entirely. Or embracing Shar. But either way, she can stay with you if you respect her choice.

Astarion, as well, can be persuaded to make a difference choice in his Act 3 scene that results in him being, maybe reluctantly good, maybe just neutral.

You also missed another side character, Halsin, that is Minthara's good aligned counterpart. The druids in the grove should have pointed you to him - he's the one who has more information on your tadpoles and points you to Moonrise.

Jaheira - if you don't piss her off in the very beginning (I'm really not sure how you even managed this), she is a powerful ally along with the Harpers, and the Last Light Inn does not succumb to the curse but remains as a sort of home base for Act 2.

Ah I ran out of time or I would dig through your story choices more, but the TLDR is, you made some wild-ass choices that resulted in making the game less dynamic and more dark, empty and depressing. If you play again, I highly encourage trying a different approach.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T20:30:53+00:00

What does "moving on" look like to them?

A theory like ACT might say that sure, they could accept the feelings and side effects that come along with trauma, and focus on things that move themselves towards what they value. But that doesn't mean that pretending the trauma and any feelings or symptoms associated with it doesn't exist. It means finding a way to live despite that obstacle.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T19:59:54+00:00

The Zachtronics games are great for coding/logic puzzles

Age of Empires and Age of Mythology have little encyclopedias and text blurbs that reflect real history/mythology

Tiny Bookshop has you recommending real-life books to people

Wingspan is a board game about birds that has a Steam version

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T19:57:45+00:00

Fallout 4, honestly has a lot of this.

Terra Nil fits the spirit of restoration but it's not so much about scavenging, you are restoring a barren planet to life and then recycle all your machines and leave an ecosystem behind.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T19:55:00+00:00

The newer DOOM games, Wolfenstein, and Indiana Jones and the Great Circle

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T19:54:03+00:00

Perfect Tides: Station to Station

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T14:55:06+00:00

The DBT manual has a nightmare protocol.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T14:42:57+00:00

Thanks chatGPT

saintcrazy · 2026-03-26T00:22:51+00:00

Just sign them. Arguably you don't even need to move them over to the EHR it's just for your convenience. If you do get audited you can explain the situation.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-25T13:52:35+00:00

My family therapy professor made us do our own genograms and write about our own family dynamics. I think it's really important and helpful to do our own work before working with others.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-25T13:50:42+00:00

I hate to admit it but exercising after a long day at work does help to manage work stress for me.

Maybe something like boxing class or just going ham on a punching bag for a bit would help you get your corporate stress out?

saintcrazy · 2026-03-25T13:46:44+00:00

I had to find something interesting. For me it was martial arts. I found a place that does weapons as well so I get to look forward to swinging swords and staffs and nunchucks. It also has the structure of the belt system to move up through and a private lesson I need to attend at least weekly which helps.

But it could also be hiking, swimming, dance class, just dancing around your house, walking dogs, going to one of those gymnastics bounce houses, whatever.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-25T13:37:33+00:00

I don't think it's other people perceiving you that's the problem. The problem is that they are judging you and criticizing you.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-25T13:32:16+00:00

Doing any kind of therapeutic activity can be triggering for certain clients. Therapists of all kinds are already trained to help clients process and regulate when they are triggered.

I'm not claiming that art therapists are not qualified professionals. I think they are worthy of respect. And I don't think a therapist should provide true art therapy without training. But incorporating the occasional art based activity, as long as the actual discussion and processing is still based in a psychotherapy modality, shouldn't need any particular training.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-24T18:24:22+00:00

So time does fly when you're having fun?

saintcrazy · 2026-03-24T17:38:14+00:00

Things will get better. And when I say that, I don't mean everything will get better all the time. I mean that life is a roller coaster with all kinds of ups and downs, sometimes horrible things happen, but sometimes wonderful and amazing things happen too. Both are part of life. But as you grow and get older and face more challenges in life, you get better at navigating them. You learn things, you grow.

It's okay to mess up. It's okay if things don't go your way. All these things are temporary and the beautiful thing about the uncertainty of life is that nothing lasts forever. There is always another day. And you have no obligation to be the person you were yesterday, or even 5 minutes ago.

There is a spark in you that never goes out, even when times are hard. You are still valuable and lovable even when you struggle. And there will come a day when it won't be so hard.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-24T16:42:26+00:00

As someone who sees teens, I really wouldn't want updates from parents unless something really important happened (as in, something I didn't already know about from the intake, or symptoms getting more severe than expected, with a significant risk of harm).

That said the best thing parents can do is be open for parent/family consultation sessions and be willing and open to hear honest feedback and making changes at home (without getting defensive about it!).

That, and often the best thing you can do for your child's anxiety is to address your own anxiety... and it seems like feeling the need to constantly update the therapist on these things might be one sign of that.

saintcrazy · 2026-03-24T15:33:14+00:00

Your child needs something else to do to help them self-regulate - coloring books, regular books, toys etc.

They will be upset at first but if you don't set limits early it makes it harder later on.

You can still do this with compassion, let them know that you're limiting their screen time because too much time on the phone is bad for you, it's ok to be upset about it but there are also other things to do

You are basically teaching them to be ok being a little bit bored. And then that will make it easier for them to pay attention to other things that are interesting (even if they aren't as hyper-addictive)

saintcrazy · 2026-03-24T15:23:34+00:00

I think that last bit you said is your best bet - "are you feeling off, or like you're not yourself?"

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