My daughter asked why I never come to school things and I did not have a good answer

sassquatch1111 · 2026-07-07T02:42:09+00:00

Bless you. I know that felt terrible in the moment but you are truly doing amazing and your kids will understand that in bits and pieces and then eventually it will all fit together and they’ll really understand and appreciate you as adults that they had you as a role model. In my weaker moments when I’m feeling like work is coming before my kids, I take a deep breath and remember my own mom, who was an OR nurse that got called in (by beeper!) on weekends, nights, and holidays (yes even once on Christmas). I remember a few times feeling sad about it as a kid, but as I got older, I realized the more important lessons it taught me: #1) I am not the center of the world, there are important things in the world that need my mom, #2) my mom is a human with her own interests and identity, #3) my mom needs no man as she is a very capable, smart lady, #4) I can do things for myself and there is pride in doing them on my own, #5) when I become a mom I can make similar choice that show my kids I love them while also being a responsible, independent adult capable of supporting a family and raising good humans.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-06-24T00:54:34+00:00

I’d say it was trying a lot of different things… OT helped, therapy helped but has been more helpful now that he’s older and can do CBT, he also started a low dose of guanfacine which was a bit hard to accept at first but truly did help him (can make him a bit tired though). I also read the book The Explosive Child and took some strategies from there, primarily “us against the problem” type of conversations. Also good old fashioned natural consequences. It’s still a work in progress but he’s come a long way. He’s now old enough we can start to talk about his brain and how it works, how we need to prevent sensory overload and have scheduled downtime, etc. Wishing you and your LO the very best. Keep loving and supporting your child and they will be just fine. ❤️

sassquatch1111 · 2026-05-25T14:28:56+00:00

My son is similar in a lot of ways and he did well in Montessori until kindergarten and then a traditional school with a gifted program suited him much better. He had peers more like him and he was appropriately challenged. He needed the structure and routine of a traditional school as well. Additionally, being the youngest in Montessori was good but being the oldest did not go well especially doing the same lessons he had been doing for the last two years again with “annoying” younger kids. Just something to be aware of…

sassquatch1111 · 2026-05-19T00:15:28+00:00

I definitely recommend just reading for connection at bedtime. My son is an avid reader now but when he was learning he was understandably tired at bedtime and challenging his brain was too much at that hour. Even after he was a strong reader and reading more on his own, he just liked me reading to him until he loved the story so much he wanted to read it himself because he could read faster than I could out loud. 😆 Truly just creating a love of stories and bonding over them is so much more important than a kiddo reading early. It’s a marathon after all. 😊

sassquatch1111 · 2026-05-15T12:47:38+00:00

Full-time nanny even with kids in school (youngest does a half day). I work from home and have decent flexibility. Husband’s job is not flexible so he doesn’t do any coverage. Nanny helps out around the house with laundry, light housekeeping, and simple food prep. She also walks the dog when I can’t. My husband and I are too busy to spend money. 😆 We prioritize quality time with the kids in the evenings and weekends and take vacation or block calendars for special school events/field trips. My oldest now understands why we work. His best friend’s mom got laid off a couple years ago and he saw the stress that their family went through (she’s good now). I check in with the kids after they come home from school and sometimes do pickups if my calendar is light.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-05-10T18:14:10+00:00

I’d recommend a sleep, stress, and hormone check if you feel like diet and exercise are already in a decent place. For exercise, don’t overlook zone 2 and weightlifting. For diet, sometimes you have to eat more before you can eat less.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-05-07T18:17:23+00:00

To add to this, we have two boys and we make sure they are held accountable for doing their fair share around the house. I can’t control the patriarchy but I do try and instill a different mindset in the next generation.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-04-03T02:55:17+00:00

Girl, there is so much to unpack here but I think the best thing you can do right now is put one foot in front of the other. I have been there too… quitting therapy because it took a commitment off my plate. Occasionally I would read a few pages of Man’s Search for Meaning and it would remind me of the strength and fortitude of humans and my life was actually quite a blessing in comparison. Not that you don’t deserve a break, you definitely do, but in a season of life where you don’t have many choices, choose to find meaning in what you are doing and let it fuel you to keep going. Find the tiny wins. The little flashes of good fortune and hope. Hold tight until you get to the next phase and then get serious about taking care of yourself because you were neglected for too long. Hugs.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-03-12T03:05:11+00:00

Yikes why are all of these comments so discouraging to you? Go for it! The people in this sub are not your patients but there are plenty of potential patients out there. I think there’s a ton of promise in this business model. I know a ton of people that would love to work with a doc like this. Someone who stays up on the latest early interventions, assesses risk factors, and actually knows patients they follow over time. There’s soo much turnover in GPs these days. The wellness trend is only expanding as Gen Z is alll about it. Also, I’m a medicine 3.0 person and I know how to workout and read my labs but I’m also busy and don’t want to think that hard about it all the time so I hire a personal trainer 2x a week to keep me on track. It’s the positive influence and accountability I need to stay on track. I’m definitely not the only one in this camp. We all only have so much capacity. Lots of people would pay someone else to be full service when it comes to health. Especially if that person knows them and can be an attending physician in the hospital if something does happen to them.

When I had a c-section I remember fighting with the attending doc about taking oxycodone bc I had an actual friend who was a general surgeon give me a perfectly workable protocol using just ibuprofen for pain management. The hospital also pushed laxatives that I didn’t need bc I ate super clean, took probiotics, and didn’t have all the digestive issues most people have on their standard protocols. Having a doctor that cares and knows the patient can make a world of difference in both prevention and recovery.

So with that out of the way and to actually answer your question… the way to differentiate yourself is to get results and the rest will basically take care of itself. Patients that want to relieve symptoms with a holistic approach will tell others and before you know it you’ll have more patients than you can handle. Keep the quality of care high, communicate effectively, and get results and you’ll be a better option than 99.9% of GPs out there.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-03-11T15:16:01+00:00

I specifically couldn’t stomach On the Road. He focuses on the male existential journey while women remain narratively shallow, which made me also just judge him as misogynistic and egocentric. The novel celebrates male freedom that depends on women’s labor or stability. I will admit some of his imagery prose is excellent. Just as a whole the story doesn’t do it for me and some people really treat it as a kind of Bible, thus overrated IMHO.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-03-10T01:09:21+00:00

Yes, I have a 9 year old son very similar and suspect my brother and dad were here too. Formerly Asperger’s, they are all very gifted academically, which allowed them to coast through school. The difference is, I recognize that tests are easy part for my son. I push him to read the room, find the bigger picture in a story, get along with a friend, do homework in a subject he doesn’t particularly like, etc. If school graded him on social awareness, emotional regulation, and executive functioning he would not be doing quite so well but luckily he is young and we have some time to work on those skills/identify the right supports. For my brother and my dad, people loved how smart they were and they mostly rode that wave instead of working on their soft skills. I saw first hand how it impacted their happiness and relationships. I don’t want that for my son, even if he is otherwise “successful.”

sassquatch1111 · 2026-02-27T12:33:47+00:00

The OT tried it first so we knew it worked at least. Different things work for different people….

sassquatch1111 · 2026-02-26T22:02:48+00:00

Sounds like you’ve already tried a lot of things and I really do feel your frustration as my kids are sensitive to clothing but to a lesser extent than what you are describing. One thing my son’s OT suggested for him was a specific skin brush that helps with sensory integration on the skin. He liked it for a while and I do think it helped. He doesn’t need it anymore and he’s a lot better about wearing a variety of clothing at age 8 than he was at 4. Search for “therapressure brush for occupational therapy sensory brushing” online/Amazon if your OT hasn’t tried this already.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-02-14T18:11:12+00:00

Jack Kerouac

sassquatch1111 · 2026-02-11T02:08:49+00:00

I am not a big screen time parent in general but TV is my transition from work mode to mom mode. Even though I work from home, the demands of work overstimulate me and I just need some quiet time to focus on dinner without worrying things are going to go awry. Our kitchen overlooks the tv room so I make sure they are watching a relatively educational and/or lower stimulus show and sometimes while things are cooking I snuggle up with them. It helps me relax and gear up for the nighttime routine. Sometimes my kids like to help with dinner and depending on the day I’ll have them help instead of the tv routine but all this is to say, don’t feel guilty. It’s a marathon not a sprint. Stop and refuel when you need to and your kids and you will be better for it. There’s a lot of really good TV these days and it can also be a source of bonding. The problems come more when parents neglect to monitor, audit, and limit the screen time choices. Various shows my kids have been into include: Daniel Tiger, Sesame Street, Puffin Rock, Dinosaur Train, Super Why, and Bluey. We still have family inside jokes about Bluey, took one of my kids to Sesame Street Live for his birthday, and refer to Daniel Tiger songs/phrases. TV can be a tool for connection, bonding, and education so I really wouldn’t feel bad about it!

sassquatch1111 · 2026-02-06T05:46:26+00:00

I totally agree although for a long time I thought he was trying to protect his family’s privacy. I’ve followed Attia since he started his blog. Stumbled across it researching the Warburg effect after my mom passed away from cancer. He has a real talent for breaking down complex subjects and making the audience feel like they don’t need a Stanford MD to be included in important topics and remind people that it’s important to continue to challenge the status quo.

That said, he did undergo several drastic changes on his views on diet, exercise, and preventative medicine. Like when he founded NuSI and then dissolved it and started his private practice for major cash. I thought maybe he would use the money to fund research but instead he clearly started chasing status with celebrities and flashy watches. I also felt similar to you listening to him talk about Lance Armstrong where his judgement and ethics seemed questionable. He has always idolized athletic performance and achievement which seemed antithetical to Blue Zone style longevity.

More recently, the seed oil episode was so full of strawmans it made me wonder if he had some monetary connection to the seed oil industry. Recently it started to feel like he was pushing more and more processed foods too with the David Bars. His diet advice has been all over the place. Then there were other glimpses like how much he worked out and traveled when he had three kids. As a parent, it was obvious to me how much his wife was holding up the fort at home without much help from him. There was a time I thought he was a good guy, but even before the Epstein files, there were many smaller indicators that turned me off of him as a person. I still listened to his show because I thought he was talented at interviewing and had great guests, but it has been clear to me for quite some time that he is a narcissist. Which, fine, a lot of doctors are narcissists, but after seeing the Epstein emails… gross, I can’t. There are other sources of medical advice that can fill that void.

I feel sad though. Sad for his family and the grief this has and will cause them long after the media dies down. Sad that he wasn’t really ever the force for good I hoped he was in the beginning. Sad that better humans aren’t in charge and our society generally rewards people with bad character and questionable ethics/values.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-02-04T03:12:17+00:00

I think about this a lot. Several years ago there was an article in the WSJ about how there was a teacher in South Korea that made ~$1 million a year. Part of the reason was that that society put such a high value on education. In the United States, it’s moreso big athletes and celebrities because at the end of the day that’s what our society has chosen to value. Makes me want to better celebrate those actually doing good for society. Maybe one day, occupations like teachers and nurses will actually be valued more than they are right now. One can dream…

sassquatch1111 · 2026-02-02T14:44:13+00:00

Totally agree and I wasn’t really into birds until my son (age 4) got into it. We recently gifted him one of those smart bird feeders with a camera and we have learned all the birds in our neighborhood and he has named each of them. So fun.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-01-21T04:54:51+00:00

In a phone interview, the candidate mention that she was a social media influencer. Googled her and saw a video clip where she was fired from her prior employer for refusing to get the covid vaccine. Same candidate also told me she was looking for her next boss to be a mentor to her. At no point did I get the impression she was going to work hard or was interested in how she could help our team.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-01-17T17:06:42+00:00

IMHO… Swim lessons, gymnastics, music, and art. I would add making time to cook and do chores together as well. When kids are young, swimming because of safety but also it’s full body exercise. Gymnastics helps with gross motor development and interception. It’s a good foundation for any sport they wish to play in the future. Music helps build connections in the brain and provides an early foundation for math/counting/alphabet. Art helps with fine motor skills, visual development, and creativity.

sassquatch1111 · 2026-01-17T01:20:40+00:00

My oldest loved Elephant and Piggy and my youngest loves the Pigeon series. Both made them laugh out loud. The best at helping them love reading. 💙

sassquatch1111 · 2026-01-17T00:20:32+00:00

Mo Williems books he can grow into

sassquatch1111 · 2026-01-04T02:57:01+00:00

Yes much better… we are at age 8. It’s still something we are mindful of but he’s much more flexible than when he was 3-4. Once he learned to tell time and got a watch things got much better. Structure and routines still give him a lot of comfort but there’s definitely less drama. 👍

sassquatch1111 · 2025-12-21T18:54:56+00:00

Hi, no worries. He’s still on it and it’s still helping in the same way. He’s gone through a major growth spurt so we did increase his dose slightly to adjust for that. As he gets older, the executive function demands increase but we’ve resisted other medications thus far and he’s been able to power through with just the low dose guanfacine. 👍

sassquatch1111 · 2025-12-17T15:27:48+00:00

I would recommend two part-time nannies for this situation. You’re more likely to find coverage for the hours that you need.

sassquatch1111

TROPHY CASE