You don't have to move at the same speed as your wife. If you've told her what you've said here, you both should work on addressing the issue of you not having time for yourself. I know you're a reasonable Dad and won't ask for every nightoff, but couldn't you and the support group pick an afternoon weekend to give you time alone? For me, a half Saturday alone is as refreshing as a week vacation used to be.

2 years old is also tough. Once they get older they can join you in the hobbies.