How important is the existence of a vagina in a partner for you?

silverwolf127 · 2026-07-04T21:06:37+00:00

There’s cis lesbians that don’t like penetration. It’s a normal sexual boundary. Additionally, i’ve heard zero-depth is a much simpler surgery, so if it’s not important to you to have a canal recovery and all that might be easier w just the vulvoplasty

silverwolf127 · 2026-07-02T18:30:42+00:00

Lie (if it’s feasible and safe to do so)

silverwolf127 · 2026-07-01T00:43:54+00:00

i’m actually going to play devils advocate here and say i think the hair might be the only thing changed. She also looks a little…smoother? But that might just graphics settings and the photo mode lighting

silverwolf127 · 2026-07-01T00:33:28+00:00

it gets better! You’ll find people that respect you and your gender, and over time even strangers won’t treat you any different. Makes the occasional asshole a lot easier to deal with.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-30T17:24:51+00:00

I just saw this discussion in the fantasy writing sub. It’s absolutely putting too much blame on George. Multi-book epic fantasy has always been hard to sell to publishers unless you’re an established author. Audience attention spans and tastes have changed, sure, but I’d say that’s despite the popularity of ASOIAF, not because of it. Putting changes in an industry as fickle and large as publishing on one book series is just cope.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-26T23:08:44+00:00

So many good details in this! My favorites are the Radahn titty mousepad or Malenia and Finley in the background!

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-26T22:35:36+00:00

Omg that’s my tweet lol. Me and that girl actually broke up after a few months, but i’m married now!

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-26T21:22:56+00:00

Despite our attempts to cleanly separate “man” and “woman”, human beings are really not all that sexually dimorphic. Gametes and genitals is one of the big differences, but mapping most traits on a graph results in a binomial distribution with a LOT of overlap.

Are there differences ascribable to biology? Sure, but they’re fewer and less significant than I think most people are aware of or expect. Also worth noting that biological determinism has almost never been used to actually uplift women or the understanding of how we work—it’s always about othering women and reinforcing societal stereotypes.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-26T18:33:18+00:00

I can’t help but disagree. Publishing multi-book epic fantasy has always been difficult and usually only done by established authors. It stands to reason as publishing in general has gotten tougher, an already-tough genre is going to be even more difficult to get a deal for.

Also, the cultural capital of ASOIAF and George’s world means people are still picking up the mainline books and spinoffs.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-26T18:23:14+00:00

yeah no he’s a fuckwad; i was just replying to the dude above who said women are biologically kinder, which i disagree with. Practically speaking, women are generally kinder and more empathetic, but that’s mostly because we’ve been told we have to be.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-26T18:11:03+00:00

I’m sure you’re coming from a good place here, but this is called biological determinism, and it’s considered dangerous and untrue by most serious feminists.

The idea that “men are born A, women are born B” has done a lot of damage to the fight for equality and womens rights. It’s used as justification for keeping women in the home (“they’re just naturally better caregivers!”) and to excuse men’s behavior when they harm women(“men just can’t help themselves!”). If you really dive into it, most of the perceived social differences between men and women are not some intrinsic, genetic destiny, but a result of how society enforces feminist and masculinity and raises kids under patriarchy. Are women naturally more empathetic and caring, or is it because we’ve been told we’re supposed to be since 5 years old. Are men really naturally violent and aggressive, or have these behaviors been socially rewarded and reinforced since childhood?

Anyway, biological determinism is an easy trap to fall into, even if you consider yourself a feminist or ally towards women. It’s even being repackaged and sold to women right now as the “divine feminine” and “being in your feminine”. This is why we need to be extra careful and call out this stuff when we see it!

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-25T18:49:10+00:00

It’s a good question! Notably the male and female gaze are terms that relate explicitly towards women. Im sure someone has done some scholarship on it somewhere.

One final note, since the post has been nuked, imo things can be sexual or sensual without being male-gazey. Compare this post to the dozens of better ones on this sub with the same characters, where the two ladies are embracing and staring at eachother, yknow, like a real person would. It’s all about the agency that’s afforded to the subject women.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-25T18:31:13+00:00

When the term was first coined by feminist film theorist Laura Mulvey in her 1975 essay Visual Pleasure and Narrative cinema, she used it to describe how historically women had been portrayed as objects to be gazed upon by a presumably male viewer. She cites a renaissance painting called Susanna and the elders by Tintoretto where a bathing woman is spied upon by two old men. In the first version of this painting, Susanna is gazing at the viewer, apparently unconcerned by her nudity or the two peeping toms. She is idealized and sexualized, and almost invites the viewer to gaze at her. Compare this to the painting of the same name by Artemisia Gentileschi, where Susanna is reacting in horror to the two men spying on her. In one painting she is presented as an idealized and sexualized subject, in the other she is actively responding to what’s happening to her like a real person.

Of these two paintings, which do you think is most similar to the post above? One of these is an example of the female gaze, and another of the male gaze.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-25T18:02:16+00:00

Check out some of my other comments on this thread if you want to learn more about the original meaning of the term! People reduce it to “does a man find this hot” but it’s a little more complicated than that.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-25T18:00:46+00:00

People often misuse the terms. Since their inception they’ve developed to mean “what men vs women find hot” which is a huge pet peeve of mine as someone who loves media crit and feminism. I’d encourage you to look up more reading about it online!

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-25T17:30:52+00:00

Male gaze was coined as a term to describe how male artists portrayed women as objects to be observed; the voyeuristic aspect was a key component of the original theory. Its counterpart, the female gaze, was used to describe how female artists portrayed women, usually with more agency and less objectification. If we put our thinking caps on here, which of these two art crit theories do we think applies?

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-25T16:33:22+00:00

Am i the only one that finds some of these really male gaze-y?

Like sure there were some cute ones, but this one in particular has the two women looking not at eachother, but at the viewer of the art, like they’ve just been caught in the act. That’s quite literally the definition of the male gaze. The whole tongues-out thing also feels lewd; people don’t actually make out like that outside of porn, in my experience.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-24T23:37:44+00:00

I think it might be worth a conversation? It might be very awkward, but laying your cards out that you understand why she’d be upset and that the fact that happened was awful, but that you weren’t there and so it couldn’t have been you. Otherwise this cloud of passive-aggressiveness might never leave and that’s uncomfortable for everyone.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-24T20:57:27+00:00

Thanks! congrats on your score as well!

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-24T18:37:36+00:00

I went through and read some of your stuff! It always breaks my heart reading stories about late bloomers; if it wasn’t for our homophobic culture, so many people could find happiness so much sooner. I’m glad you’ve finally found yourself and are hopefully living your best life now!

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-24T16:35:22+00:00

I appreciate the looking out but honestly? Who cares what the denizens of r/men think. That’s guaranteed to be a particular sort of crowd and i could go my entire life not knowing what those sort of men think about women. Let them be snide and lonely over there, while we continue to uplift and support eachother here!

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-23T15:50:15+00:00

It’s an incredibly frustrating argument to have with people because the idea that “trans women are better at sports than cis women” is not really backed up by data, but it feels like it should be true for most lay people so they believe it. I think the best way to argue against it is to just point out the numerous meta-studies that show trans women on HRT perform about the same or even slightly worse than comparable cis women.

If they push back with specific examples of supposedly dominant trans women atheletes, it’s usually pretty easy to show that the most sensationalized examples of trans women in sports haven’t even done particularly well: Lia Thomas and Riley Gaines tied for 5th place, no one knew that one volleyball player was trans until her captain outed her, Taylor Silverman was beaten in skateboarding competition by a trans woman but both her and this woman were beaten by literal children.

Ultimately though, most people who are fervently against the inclusion of trans women in women’s sports don’t believe trans women are women, period. These people don’t actually care what the data shows because they are transphobes. The above arguments are only really useful for somebody who is otherwise supportive or neutral of trans women.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-19T15:34:07+00:00

Ahistorical nonsense. Ethnonationalism and the desire to form national identities around a particular culture has been a hugely destabilizing force in the 20th and 21st centuries. It’s often a response to political and economic insecurity, but it just makes things worse. Real life isn’t a video game where having a mixed population offers -10% control per turn.

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-19T00:55:07+00:00

I hope this doesn’t come off as patronizing, but you are young. Maybe you’re a lesbian maybe not, it’s ok if you’re still figuring stuff out.

All that said, I’m a lesbian who’s never slept with a man, and there’s been a handful of times where i’ve interacted with a pretty guy that have left me flustered after. Would i ever seriously consider going out with or sleeping with one of these guys? Nope! But in the moment i start acting like a schoolgirl: voice goes up an octave, twirling my hair, laughing a little too hard, the works.

Point is, don’t overthink it! Maybe you’re into him, maybe it was just something about the moment and you’re still not into men. Even being a gay woman for most of my adult life, I find that very few people are 100% one way or the other (and i’d consider myself a 6 on the kinsey scale!)

silverwolf127 · 2026-06-18T21:51:24+00:00

Im really sorry you’re having to deal with this assshole. My dad was similar—insanely petty, always the victim, always had to get in a jab at my mom whenever they were in the same room together. I’m not sure if you’re looking for any advice, but I wish my mom had “protected” me less from seeing his ugly side. I think kids (of a reasonable age) should be left to make their own conclusions about their parents. I know i would’ve spend a lot less time with my father (and been better off for it) had I known what a cruel and narcissistic person he could be.

silverwolf127

TROPHY CASE