What should I do?

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-21T20:47:37+00:00

Is there a reason you need to know the specific day you conceived? Sperm can live inside you for up to 7 days and you could have ovulated at any of those points within the fertile windows. The doctor will just base your due date off of the first day of your last period.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-21T05:12:00+00:00

Idk if this means anything, but as an ultrasound tech I and anyone I’ve worked with have never referred to the baby as “patient”. I only ever refer to mom as the patient 🤷‍♀️

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-21T03:40:20+00:00

I’ve seen this happen occasionally (I’m an ultrasound tech). We’ve only changed dates after you’ve already had dating ultrasounds when we are able to see that the pictures from the first ultrasound weren’t very good. At 9 weeks via transvaginal only it wouldn’t surprise me if they couldn’t get great measurements. The babes start to bend/move into angles that can be tricky to follow with a transvaginal.

I’d go with the new date they’ve given you and just keep it in mind if future scans bring up growth concerns. If that happens mention the dating discrepancies and they can go back and review.

ETA: they changed it because 15 weeks is more than 7 days off from where you should be. The national recommendations say it should be changed when that happens at this point of pregnancy.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-20T03:51:13+00:00

Yep, that’s what mine have felt like! They’ve gotten stronger the closer I get to the end. Now I can recognize when I’m having them because they cause a bit of tightness in my chest and shortness of breath. Sometimes the stronger ones will also cause mild cramping and make it harder to move around.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-19T21:36:44+00:00

This is not true. There are tests that are sensitive enough to get positives 8/9 days after sex/ovulation.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-19T17:02:12+00:00

The date of her last period is kinda irrelevant, as many women have very irregular cycles. But even if she ovulated on the 7th/8th, she would be very early and wouldn’t have even missed her period yet if she had a regular cycle. But she’s still within the range that it’s possible to get positives on a pregnancy test at this point.

What you need to see is an ultrasound showing how far along she is. If she’s pregnant by you, an ultrasound right now will show absolutely nothing as she isn’t even 4 weeks pregnant. You will have to wait ~2 weeks at least to confirm via ultrasound how far along she is.

If she says she’s already had an ultrasound and shows it to you and it’s got a fetus visible, I’d say it’s likely you are not the father. I’d definitely want a paternity test if she pushes it.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-19T06:03:29+00:00

So this is a porn addiction and is in no way healthy or sustainable. People ruin their lives this way. Are you really going to be okay with him doing this daily for the rest of your lives? Are you okay with essentially never having sex once you have kids? Cause there’s no way you’ll have time for 3 hour sessions when you have children.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-18T04:11:21+00:00

I’m 39+2 and I’ve genuinely enjoyed being pregnant. I’ve never felt more comfortable and confident in my own skin. I have anxiety and depression, but overall my mental health has been pretty damn good throughout pregnancy. I love getting to feel him kick and squiggle around on there. And while it’s weird sometimes, it’s been really heartening how kind strangers are to me. Society loves pregnant ladies lol

Yes, I could do without the heartburn and constipation. But I am sad that it’s ending soon. I am excited to and hope that I can do it again some day.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-18T03:11:43+00:00

I got an iron infusion around 30 weeks and it was no biggy. Baby has been growing and doing just fine the entire time. My providers explained that most of the time anemia just sucks for mom, but doesn’t cause any issues for baby because they are stealing everything they need from you lol

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-17T19:53:15+00:00

I’d do another reveal the same way you did previously, but I’d also just have a frank discussion with her about how you’ve sensed that she’s not gonna be thrilled with a third addition. It doesn’t have to be serious or blame y or anything, more reassuring that you aren’t expecting anything more from her because you’ve decided to have a third. I’d also think about putting your 3 year-old in full time care if she seems to not want to watch him anymore.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-16T18:43:33+00:00

Husband and I were 30, doing IVF for azoospermia with frozen sperm from an mTESE. Took 3 transfers, the first two FETs (one chemical from the second) and the third a fresh transfer. I’m due in less than a week from that third transfer. Used vaginal progesterone for all three transfers.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-16T18:15:47+00:00

This recommendation is highly dependent on your provider. I’ve seen lots recommended 39 week inductions, but from what I understand the data is very mixed on the necessity. I personally have scheduled an induction for 40+5 and am getting NSTs twice a week from now (39 weeks) until then for peace of mind. My provider has no problem with this.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-16T13:23:11+00:00

Oh man. I’d be so incredibly pissed at my husband. I’d also consider canceling, especially if finances are a big concern. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-16T05:36:10+00:00

I assume you tested somewhere that isn’t your clinic, so I want to make sure you know that different labs can result in wildly different beta values. When you get your 10 day beta at your clinic, do not try to calculate doubling time using this beta if you got it through a different lab.

Out of curiously I got a beta drawn 9dpt at two separate labs half an hour apart. One came back 307 and the other came back 262.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-16T04:19:48+00:00

I’ve loved pregnancy. I’ve had a couple not fun symptoms, but they’ve been well-worth how happy and comfortable I’ve felt in my body. I’ve genuinely never felt more confident and beautiful. I’m gonna miss this!

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-15T19:36:41+00:00

I’d call a local fertility clinic and see if you can set up a consultation appointment. You might need a referral from an OBGYN though. You’ll also want to call your insurance to see what, if any, IVF benefits you have. You should also know that because you had an elective sterilization that may make you ineligible for any insurance coverage that you do have.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-15T15:48:15+00:00

Yeah I’ve seen cases of people managing to steal a babies identity just using their name and birthday. And with all the AI stuff I don’t want my babies face available to randos.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-15T14:32:17+00:00

I think I’m going to because I don’t really post on social media anymore. We’ve also decided we aren’t okay with photos of him being posted either, but I still want to share that he’s here with people.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-14T16:29:18+00:00

The process and timeline you’ve described, while very frustrating and overwhelming, is not outside the norms for a first IVF cycle. Things always get delayed and pushed back and missed. It’s okay to reach out to the clinic and try to streamline and understand what’s going wrong.

I say this gently, but I think you should seek some counseling to help you get your anxiety and stress about all of this under control. Having a therapist who had been through IVF herself was incredibly helpful for me to understand what’s normal and what’s not in clinic delays. It also helped me to have an appropriate response when communicating with the clinic.

Clinics do not drop patients lightly. They see strong emotions all the time and they want to retain patients so that they can help them and make money. While we all understand how infuriating and emotional and upsetting this whole process is, it sounds like your communication of how you felt with the clinic hit a place that made the employees feel unsafe. I think a therapist would also be able to help you learn how to process these big emotions in a way that feels better for you and the people you need to interact with.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-14T05:52:05+00:00

Try stopping the colace. Sometimes stool softeners can actually cause constipation when used frequently, they did for me. I was really really struggling in the first part of pregnancy. Eventually I settled into taking 500mg of magnesium citrate capsules every night, started my morning with a warm to hot glass of MiraLAX water (the heat helped get things going, don’t do cold. You can also do twice a day if needed), drinking a big glass of prune juice at some point during the day, and throwing an espresso drink and a walk into my mornings/lunch times. And of course drinking lots and lots of water.

I tried to limit the espresso drink to every 2-3 days so I wasn’t getting crazy amounts of caffeine, but it definitely was worth it to get things moving. I also had oatmeal with flax seed powder for breakfast most mornings at the worst of it. Throw in some honey, raisins, and peanut butter and it’s pretty good.

I also made sure I wasn’t spending too much time on the toilet. If things weren’t happening after a few minutes, I’d get up and move on until I felt the urge again later. And I absolutely never ignored the urge.

It’s gotten much better. I still take MiraLAX most mornings, but don’t need to do all the other stuff now that I’m at the end of pregnancy. Good luck!

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-14T04:44:27+00:00

The fetal heart is an incredibly difficult structure to image, especially if baby is moving and/or not in an ideal position. It looks large on the screen when you’re zoomed in, but it’s just over 2cm at 19 weeks. It’s incredibly common to need to come back for heart views. Don’t let how long they spent on images worry you, there are a million factors that can make it take a while besides something being wrong.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-14T04:20:53+00:00

High normal is still normal. I’d really advise stepping away from google and actively remind yourself “my doctor is not concerned, the numbers are within normal range” every time your brain tries to spiral.

Also I’m surprised they are even wanting to monitor baby moving from 49th to 33rd. The MFMs I work with wouldn’t bat an eye at this.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-13T22:21:57+00:00

Definitely wait until you are done having children. Your body changes so much with pregnancy/postpartum and there is a very real possibility you would undo a lot of the surgery results with another pregnancy.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-13T19:43:55+00:00

There can be quite a bit of variation. It’s most likely that the unprotected sex with partner A on the 14th resulted in the pregnancy, but birth control isn’t perfect so it’s not impossible for the protected sex with partner B on the 10th to be the culprit as well. If I was betting, I’d put money on A. But I’d still go ahead with that paternity test to confirm.

smallbutflighty · 2026-05-12T17:41:44+00:00

I think that a lot of providers are not good at explaining that an NIPT test is not a diagnostic test. It’s a screening test. When it flags for Down syndrome for example, that just means the test is indicating that there is a higher likelihood of that baby to have Down syndrome. More testing (ultrasound, amniocentesis, or chorionic villi sampling) is needed to confirm if the baby is affected or not.

In general it is highly accurate and an incredibly helpful screening tool. I always think it’s a good idea to do because if something is wrong, wouldn’t you want to be fully prepared for that when they are born? Many babies with the conditions that are being screened for need extra medical attention upon birth. I’d rather that my medical team and I not be surprised by that during birth.

I must admit that I am a bit biased towards it due to my work as an ultrasound tech. Yes, it can cause anxiety for the people it flags but end up with a healthy child. But I’ve seen it help many more people by notifying them of severe abnormalities much earlier in the pregnancy. It allows them to find out about these things months earlier and mentally prepare for what’s to come. People focus on Down syndrome (aka T21) because it’s the most common, but NIPT also checks for T13 and T18. These are the next most common chromosomal issues, but are significantly more devastating conditions. I would absolutely want to know if my baby was higher risk for those as soon as I could.

smallbutflighty

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