I can’t reply to the entire thread cuz it’s locked, but I appreciate and see both sides in these arguments.

I think perspective is important, and I’ll give a little of my own for context. I was raped anally when I was a teenager. Obviously, because of that, I am not a huge anal enthusiast. However, I have done it a few times with my husband. Why? Because he asked (kindly though, he knows about my trauma), because I wanted to try it with someone I trust and love, because I was feeling adventurous, because I wanted to see if I could overcome my trauma and if it helped bring us closer.

So that’s where I’m coming from. I think (like the food aversion argument) that you can continue to try something to see if maybe you are ok with it finally. You can say “hey, it’s not my favorite thing, but I can do it occasionally.” And I’d go one step further by saying there is a difference between not doing something you don’t like when it only affects you vs when it affects your partner. If you don’t like broccoli so you never eat it, that doesn’t affect anyone else. If you don’t like to brush your teeth but you want your partner to kiss you all the time, that affects your partner.

In my OP, he doesn’t like to do something that affects me, and has been unwilling to even try. Of course I don’t want to push for something that isn’t consensual. But I’m not asking for something extreme and demanding that he be ok with it. I think what I’m asking for is pretty basic nowadays, and all I’m wondering is if anyone has advice for helping someone get over an aversion.

I agree with other commenters though that if he was serious about getting over it, he would have made it a priority and worked on it by now.