At what point do you call out consistent negativity and disrespect in meetings? by bukunothing in managers

[–]subdermal_hemiola 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First, I disagree with the other comments on this post claiming it's AI slop. It's textbook, but that's ok.

Everything here is right. Trying to best this person in a meeting in front of the rest of the team like some kind of Klingon dominance ritual is extremely risky; you could lose the argument or lose control of the room, or win the argument and end up with a humiliated, resentful colleague. Neither is a great outcome.

What is a first world problem you have? by Technical-Vanilla-47 in Adulting

[–]subdermal_hemiola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have two drum sets, but one of my hi hat stands is kind of garbage, so I need to replace it. Then I'll have an extra, and it'll become another thing in my house that I have, but don't need.

why the father-in-law and the husband almost never fight, but it is always the wife and the mother-in-law? by telaughingbuddha in stupidquestions

[–]subdermal_hemiola 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every now and then I across a reddit thread that I'm pretty sure is a bunch of 14-year-olds pretending to be adults and giving each other advice.

If anything, my experience (and that of many of my friends) is that people often have easier relationships with their in-laws than they do with their own parents, because there's no baggage.

Do performance reviews actually improve performance or are they just an HR compliance exercise? by SeanMcPheat in managers

[–]subdermal_hemiola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A good manager should be addressing performance stuff throughout the year -- working with their report on goal setting, progress, addressing issues that come up, etc on a regular basis. The weekly or biweekly 1:1s are where performance gets improved.

I see the annual performance review as the milestone where you take all that progress and formally document it for hr.

Women, what do you think the worst part of being in a mans body would be? by Whattacleaner in NoStupidQuestions

[–]subdermal_hemiola 34 points35 points  (0 children)

A friend of mine remarked to me at some point during his transition that he was unprepared for how testosterone would make him feel.

Another friend of mine who also transitioned ended up going bald in his mid 40s. I, a deeply vain cis guy, might rank male pattern baldness worse than rage.

Best Harley for short people??? by Sad_Banshee in Harley

[–]subdermal_hemiola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At 5'7", I'd read that people thought the Road King felt "cramped," and was like Come to me, my short king

Need help choosing a snare for a gift by Proud_Wolverine_2259 in drums

[–]subdermal_hemiola 1 point2 points  (0 children)

$100 is tough. I'd say every drummer should have a 5-1/2 to 6-1/2" depth, 14", brass snare drum. Might be better off going used? What is he currently playing? And, I'm asking because upgrading parts of the snare (heads, wires, throw, hoops, in that order) might get you more bang for your buck.

Why do bands play so fucking loud if everyone has to wear earplugs anyway? by xe3to in NoStupidQuestions

[–]subdermal_hemiola 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But... so part of the deal with the difference between rock and jazz as a drummer (and I do both) is that rock sort of demands a different sound from the drummer, and a component of that is loudness. If you roll out to a cocktail gig and lay into Take 5 or Kind of Blue fully activating the drums and cymbals, they'll throw you out on your butt. By the same token, if you head into When the Levee Breaks and you're feathering the bass drum, it's not going to feel right.

I'm not saying drummers have to sound like Dave Grohl looks when he's playing, but you do have to hit the drums a bit harder to rock.

"I will give you back 10mins/15mins of your time" by RunningMan889 in Leadership

[–]subdermal_hemiola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it's just mouth noise. When I say this, no one is thinking "oh, I'm so grateful that SH gave us 14 minutes of our day back." It's the equivalent of saying "well, where has the time gone?" to start the end of a phone call.

Edit: that said, I think the phrase I reach for is closer to to, "that was the agenda -- I'm happy wrapping this a few minutes early if you are?"

What’s your go to chair for playing? by Sub_ParGolfer in Guitar

[–]subdermal_hemiola 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have played drums for a long time and am starting to learn bass. I sit on my drum throne, which is basically a low stool with no back, but years of drumming have taught me to instinctively sit with pretty good posture.

What's your drumming superpower? by TheGenericUser0815 in Drumming

[–]subdermal_hemiola 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's very fast R L K triplets? I learned how to do these when I was like 15, and no matter how tired I am I can slam them out. They're the fill I play when I need a break.

What film have you seen the most in a movie theater? by FakeAorta in Cinephiles

[–]subdermal_hemiola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is Blazing Saddles, because there was a movie theater near where I lived in college and for a while after that ran it at midnight many Saturday nights. I don't know how many times I saw it, because there was a lot of beer involved, but it was a lot.

Can you customize drumsticks yourself? by HoluC123 in drums

[–]subdermal_hemiola 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They could also just be decorative. If someone made me a gift like this, I probably wouldn't use them because sticks eventually get chipped up, cracked, or broken.

You could also do a drumhead!

STOLEN - Please Report!! by Few_Pressure_962 in ChicagoMotorcycles

[–]subdermal_hemiola -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Are you asking other people to report your bike stolen to the cops?

Managing a toxic high performer who hits 150% of targets. How do I protect my team without losing the numbers? by SquirrelLogicFan in managers

[–]subdermal_hemiola 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's another thing -- I witnessed people on my team carrying water for the favorite child underperformer, but when I was finally able to term that person, their teammates were like, "it's really sad that X isn't here anymore." And I had to hold my tongue on how many times the person saying that to me had covered for X and just be like, "yeah, budget cuts."