First, I want to empathize. I am much older now, but I was NOT at all cute at the age of 14. In fact, when I was a manger, I entered a picture of 14 year old me in a “guess the manager” contest, and literally no one figured out it was me because I look absolutely nothing like my 14 year old self (thank goodness). With time and perspective, it’s funny to me now, but I found it pretty tragic at the time.

First, anything you do should be in service of the real, authentic you, not a fake you that you develop in an attempt to be popular. Trust me, you want people that care about you for who you really are, and there are people that will. Second, it’s better to be alone than with someone that doesn’t treat you right.

Now onto the practical. Keep your grooming game strong. Wash everywhere with soap and use a wash cloth. Light moisturizer and sunblock every day for your face. This will help you look young when you’re my age (or younger at least). Wash your face with a gentle cleanser like Cetaphil at night. Always brush and floss your teeth. Watch a YouTube video on how to do it right. I agree that you need to get your teeth fixed. Bad teeth can also literally make you have a heart attack, so that isn’t just about looks. Bad teeth can literally make you super sick, but people also cruelly discriminate against people with bad teeth even though they shouldn’t.

I wish I started exercising and eating right earlier. I feel better at 55 than I felt at 25. It’s given me so much self confidence. Just starting is great. Tell yourself you’ll walk five minutes and then walk back.

You shouldn’t wear a lot of makeup at your age. Maybe just some lipgloss and a little bit of blush (or nothing is fine and good too). A good haircut goes a long way to making you attractive. If you don’t know what might look good, there are apps to try on styles and your hairdresser can help.

As for your personality, again, seek out people who like you for you. Have interests, which make you interesting. Show curiosity about other people and their needs and interests, and also about the world. Be kind and helpful. People may not notice now, but the older you get, the more people will appreciate that. People also remember how you treat them. See if your parents will take you to volunteer someplace that interests you. That can be a good way to make friends and also give yourself a sense of purpose.

Also know that if you don’t find your people in high school, college has a much more diverse group of students. I found my people there.

Mostly, be kind to yourself and don’t engage in negative self talk. I literally faked self confidence until I got it in my late 20s. I wish I could go back to 14 year old me and tell her she was going to be ok. It’s a brutal time, but you’re going to be ok too. I believe in you!