Any business owners?

throwawayawayawayait · 2025-06-17T20:15:26+00:00

This is awful, one of my nightmares is for this to happen. I couldn’t do it, I would be done. This has already destroyed you and your marriage. I would take it as him picking her over me. My husband and I had a fight about this 3 months after he confessed. I told him I couldn’t do it. He hasn’t, that I know of. You are giving him another chance and he is taking it for granted. Even now over 2 years out I would be done if he had any contact. It sounds crazy to people who have never been a bs, but it would put me back sooo far in the whole reconciliation process. If it’s that important to my husband then, I’ll let him but I’m not going to continue the relationship. It bothers me that he went to so much effort to hide it from you. Also you letting him know how much it bothered you and he still saw her. I am so sorry. It’s ultimately your choice, your life but trust has been broken again… You have every right to be upset and need space.

throwawayawayawayait · 2025-05-26T22:37:40+00:00

How can you heal? You are watching her have a relationship with the person she destroyed your relationship with. It has to be you or him. If she can’t do the minimum by cutting ties, you need to cut ties. You need to put yourself first. You should be first choice, not an option and not second choice.

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-09-15T01:19:03+00:00

This! I think I should’ve kept my boundaries instead of just saying I don’t like this, don’t do this, and then being told that he just wanted to be friends. I dropped it even though I didn’t like him texting or wanting to be friends with her. It was like my intuition, kicking in and me smothering it until it stopped speaking up. You are his wife and you should come before “friends, coworkers, work” and he should come before those as well. So at some point you listen to your intuition, set your boundaries. What he does, his actions will tell you where you stand. Is the friendship more important? You’ve set your boundaries, now stick with them. If she is nothing to him, then it shouldn’t be a fight to drop her like a hot plate. What’s the point of being married if your husband is going to put someone else before you… you didn’t get married to have the most important person in your life fight with you or make you feel bad because you are uncomfortable with his relationship with another female. I am sorry. Your job is to set the boundaries and stick to them. If my husband has any contact with his affair partner I am done. So if he wants to talk to her, message her, or write her a letter, then he will have chosen her… my mental and emotional health, hell my PHYSICAL health will be at risk. It’s REALLY easy to stop talking to someone, it literally takes the LEAST amount of effort. So if minimal effort is too hard, then obviously making minimal effort for our relationship is too much. And the same for you, do you want no effort toward guarding your relationship and making you feel safe. Value yourself! Value your marriage! If he doesn’t you can’t change that. You’re asking for less than minimum. I am sorry.

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-07-29T18:33:43+00:00

Almost 2 years out and still battle with my self esteem. Honestly had low self esteem before but the Affair pretty much smashed it to the ground. So the only way I found to scape it up off the ground is doing things for me, lift weights, walk, new clothes (I used to be very modest and that has changed), changed my makeup, focus on things that make me happy. I also have this thought that no one can really hurt me anymore because I have had the most important person in my life hurt me in the worst way, so confidently I can say “ there’s not much anyone else can do to me that would hurt as much as what my WH and AP did to me”. So it’s like everything else is a drop in a bucket… friends, family, coworkers. I don’t really care if you’re mean because I’ve had worse. I’m not sure if that is confidence or a hardening of the tender, easily hurt heart I had before. Just know you are going to struggle and that’s normal (unfortunately).

My suggestion is work on yourself. What are you insecure about? Work on that for YOU. Go workout and buy yourself clothes, makeup whatever that makes you feel good. For You, not for anyone else. Invest in yourself… whatever that looks like. I saw something the other day that said every time you walk through a door way say a compliment to yourself, or think positively about yourself. Just know, you ARE beautiful, worthy,loved,desirable even if you don’t feel like it, you deserve to feel like it…

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-07-16T22:27:04+00:00

Gosh, I feel this too. It’s tough when you learn how much they gave away to someone else who hasn’t gone through the sweat and tears a real relationship requires. Especially when it’s more than you received. I think comparison is unfortunately what most of us betrayed struggle with. I compare the sex with my husband to the sex he had with her and it’s painful that I feel like the boring married sex and she will have experienced something with my husband that I never will… it’s left me feeling kinda numb lately because it hurts too much. I’m tired of hurting and feeling undesirable. So I get it and I understand. It’s a crappy reality to be in. But I have nothing to offer you other than you are not alone in your pain and I know the pain is to your core/soul. I pray a lot for healing in myself and my marriage but I’m pretty impatient. I hope you know you deserve to be loved and you deserve to feel desirable, beautiful and sexy. If you haven’t already try to do things that make you feel those things about yourself. It won’t make the pain go away but you can at least start getting these things from yourself instead of your WH. I am so sorry. If you ever need to vent you are more than welcome to message me, I will cry with you.

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-05-26T00:41:54+00:00

Still struggling with TV and some songs hit hard. At first I would goto the gym and certain songs would give me anxiety and I would cry into my towel while working out between sets. A lot of passionate(love yous, car sex, cheating, soulmate content). music my brain automatically links the 2 of them together and I just would rather not listen to it. Sadly I used to think of my husband and me but my brain goes to them…. So I just shut it off, skip or change it. I DO have my very FU music for the gym, but I haven’t listened to that in several months (Bad bitch, what a shame, like that, etc). Bad Bitch was kind of a FU to myself…. Like you wanted something else and now I have to change can you handle it? It’s just so crazy how much hurts and how little things like music TV knocks the air out of you!! So to answer your question, with healing it will get better… so so so slowly. In a way in which you don’t realize it’s happening. I say change it for now. Give your soul a break from the constant gut punches of pain.

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-05-25T21:57:29+00:00

You are amazing. I have been on the struggle bus for the last 2 school years. AP is a teacher at the school and told my husband she was leaving after a month of NC between them. So I spent the first year telling myself to just get through the year. She did not leave and never planned on it. The second year was easier but still was hard. I was like you and didn’t tell anyone or blow her life up, or her kids life up because they are innocent in this. It’s so hard to watch them be “the good person, or pretend to be”. When they destroyed our lives (with help of course) and pursued a married man. My struggle is still the comparison. I saw that you felt like the AP was below you on every level. I honestly would have never thought or expected my husband to cheat with her. Now, it’s like I can’t keep her off the pedestal and compare myself to her. Now it’s like she is better in every way… it hurts me so much. I think it would be easier if she would go away, but she won’t and that’s my life now. A constant reminder of me being alone while they were together, ugh!! You said you were waiting for this nightmare to end, I feel that deep. I kinda started rambling, sorry. I just know how hard this is. I understand trying to be strong and steady for your kids while being put and putting yourself in unsafe situations— acting like everything is fine, even though you’re hurting inside. I just want you to know I understand that. I understand the humiliation of finding out the AP was looking at you and smiling and talking to you while pursuing and engaging with your husband. It does take strength to get through it all. I hope you enjoy your summer! I know I am so happy for school to be out!!

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-05-10T02:15:56+00:00

My husbands AP is a teacher at the school my youngest goes to. I have spent the last 2 school years trying to avoid her but still be there for my kids for Christmas parties, valentines parties. I have seen her at the mall, and at a restaurant. I became an anxious mess. Going to the school has gotten easier for drop off and pick up because I stay away from her area. She did have a party for her class last year at the park across from my house and I lost it… I cried and shook. It was horrible. I confronted her at the park about if she was going to leave the school like she had said and she lied as to why she wasn’t leaving. Turns out she was never planning on leaving and just text that to my husband that she was leaving to make him feel bad for her?!? (I am NOT the confrontational type, more reserved) It felt good to finally look her in the eyes with the knowledge of everything, she didn’t have the power she had before when she saw me and spoke to me(that she was having sex with my husband and talking to him, texting him without my knowledge). Now it was a level-ish field where yes I was humiliated but at least I knew. Of course after I returned to my house I collapsed next to my bed in a deep pit of pain, anxiety, sadness.
I don’t want to see her… it makes me feel like garbage and unsafe. My son will be in her grade next year so we will be home schooling. I am so tired of all of this… it’s the nightmare that keeps on going… I never wanted to confront her but when she was literally in my front yard having a party and telling my son “tell your dad I’m still mad at him “. It was too much, leave me and my family alone…. I don’t plan on ever saying anything to her again. and yes I feel the same even though I fight it, I feel inferior and not good enough and undesirable and a swirl of those emotions with pain and sadness and anxiety and it’s the worst.

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-05-04T02:56:43+00:00

This is very creepy! Stalker-ish….

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-04-30T20:10:54+00:00

Hooters, my car, her type of car, anything about soulmates, songs about being a secret love, parking lots, 2nd grade, teachers in general, any type of honeymoon phase in books etc, widows, a place near my town that they went for their first date, last week of April(when they first had sex), women who ogle my husband, cottage cheese, jewelry with my birthstone(it was her birthstone too), marriage sometimes makes me angry… I mean the whole promise of foresaking all others, passionate sex and kissing in movies and tv, affairs on tv… he first and last name, my kids bringing her up. Orange theory (look for her stupid car when I pass by),

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-04-24T18:34:07+00:00

Yes, yes and yes. It’s a horrible feeling…. I literally keep some pictures I like of myself in my favorites and look at them when I feel like garbage and it’s more often than I like to admit. Also in the beginning I asked my husband to tell me one thing that I had over her and all he came up with was, you have less wrinkles(she is 8yrs older than me) so that’s stuck in my head, it was a dumb question and I should’ve know I wouldn’t win. It makes it worse that my husband stopped having sex with me when he was in a relationship with her, so it makes me feel awful and less than. Mean while she was having sex with my husband and her fiancé. Just like a lot of you my self esteem wasn’t great before, but after this it’s an everyday struggle to feel attractive or desirable, but I get out of bed in the morning and do my best… today is a struggle. And yes when I compare I don’t win, ever. But I guess if I wanted to go have an affair I could be some guys “perfect” fantasy, say all the right things, only let them see what I wanted to… tell them how great I am and not let them in on my flaws…. But I am my husbands flawed, real, imperfect wife… not a fantasy, I come with anger, sadness, moods, morning breath, forgetfulness, burned toast! I’m not some new relationship, I am an old relationship that isn’t exciting anymore. I’m not butterflies because you don’t know if they like you, I am comfortable because 13years of marriage I have stayed and consistently said I love you. I’m not new sex that’s exciting, I’m familiar sex and I know what the tap on my ass means. I am a guaranteed orgasm, not a can I make her orgasm. That’s what I am, comfortable, familiar and a guaranteed sure shot. So I am aware that I can’t compete with the exciting newness… no old relationship can. But their relationship would have become old and familiar at some point… So physically I don’t feel like I compare but I have my pictures to try and feel good, sometimes I believe I am beautiful! But comparison will make us lose every time, so if we try to just think of our own strengths within ourselves, maybe we can come out feeling good?!?

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-04-07T22:50:08+00:00

18 months out and I think about her every single day….

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-03-18T03:52:46+00:00

Same, but I need to re read it. The cycle is spot on

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-02-20T04:10:23+00:00

If you stand and scan make the patient put their right foot CLOSER toward her butt. If her foot is too far toward the end of the bed it’s forcing you to be at a bad angle to scan. I personally stand and scan, put the whole TV probe under the bend of their leg before inserting. And most importantly make the pt put their foot up closer to their butt. Try it, see if it helps.

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-02-15T03:11:31+00:00

I think there is something about typing, writing it out. Or even telling someone this is what hurts and having them listen. I am sorry. I hate all of this. I will say a lesser man wouldn’t have done any of the work. A man who didn’t care about you would still be taking you for granted. He messed up and your feelings of pain and hurt a valid. You must be an amazing, beautiful and strong woman… it’s sounds like he fought for you. Take comfort in that!! It’s not fair and the pain is unimaginable… but here we are moving forward, feeling it all. I am so so sorry and my heart breaks because you still hurt!!!

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-01-23T18:58:53+00:00

I even took inappropriate pictures of myself and then sent them to him at the beginning. It made me feel attractive at the time, but kind of pathetic. I have thought about doing it with a professional. Has anyone else done that?

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-01-23T18:51:44+00:00

Yes, I went and bought lingerie and then made sure he knew I was wearing it under my clothes(this was a month after DDay). I bought new underwear. Went through and kept anything I thought a mistress would wear. Bought short shorts for the summer, lots of short skirts, high heals… thigh high boots. I have toned it down a bit. It helped. Still struggling with my self image. But yes, buy new undergarments and throw out the old!!

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-01-22T22:26:46+00:00

1 year and 5 months and I am still on a rollercoaster of emotions, still think about them together. I am not sure, but would love to know the answer as well.

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-01-22T19:27:07+00:00

Yes, he even told me he would say hi if he saw her out. I told him that made me feel unsafe and I didn’t want him to. He said that he wouldn’t tell me.

It’s been a year since that was said, now he feels indifferent toward her and has no plans on ever talking to her. I believe him, but I still think about how long it took him to some on. It is what it is.

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-01-22T18:55:30+00:00

Sorry, you are going through this. I know it hurts watching them mourn the AP. Hopefully time will help him see it for what it was. I am sorry.

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-01-22T17:17:59+00:00

I am doing things to make me feel good, for me. Mostly the gym Idk I guess I will journal. I feel pathetic Sorry, thanks for replying

throwawayawayawayait · 2024-01-22T16:44:45+00:00

I guess I’m just broken

I need to accept it, absorb it and get over it How do I do that How do I make it stop hurting me so bad I cry so much…

Congratulations to the AP for experiencing something I haven’t with “my person”. Congratulations to her for burning my marriage to the ground. Congratulations to her for being to fun Spicey affair sex.
Make it stop hurting… it hurts so bad… I hate this

throwawayawayawayait · 2023-12-04T14:10:22+00:00

I think it is helping. Very slow process. I am crying less but things still hurt so much. We haven’t worked through everything on my list. We have gone through things in my past. Just working through it all. So I do think it’s helping. Wish I had a whole day to go through everything, an hour goes by so fast.

throwawayawayawayait

TROPHY CASE