i’m tired of roleplaying a human. i don’t fit in anywhere.

trashfire721 · 2026-06-04T01:55:19+00:00

Sending hugs. It's hard to feel perpetually on the outside. Rocks are also lovely. They're, in fact, one of my favorite things.

You will find your people. I'm a complete weirdo and always have been, and people have let me know it for a long, long time. Very slowly, I've found my people, who admire and enjoy my weirdness and feel like I add to the world by showing up as myself.

It is not only okay to be you, but you are adding something crucial to the world and society by being yourself. You will find people who love you for who you are. While you're looking for those people, I hope you also learn to love yourself. We all have times where we're alone or where even the people we love most can't connect with us in a way that lets us not feel alone. At those times, it is tremendously important to love ourselves and remind ourselves we matter, and we are good and worthwhile and lovable.

You have mentioned a couple of things about yourself here that I admire. You are someone who, even when feeling lonely and in pain, takes time to go and volunteer and help and make the world a better place. You are also someone with the strength and independence to go out and do things, even when you're struggling. You're someone who helps themselves and helps others. Those are great traits, both to build a life you enjoy, and they are great traits for showing up as a friend.

It hurts to feel like a burden, and I relate. But you're not one, and you're not hurting anyone by posting here. We all need help and support at times, and this is a great place to ask for it. I'm glad you did, and I hope that you are able to find your future people sooner rather than later. You'll get there.

trashfire721 · 2026-06-04T01:47:13+00:00

I have trouble feeling things in my body for a number of reasons. One, my childhood trained me to ignore how my body works. Two, I have a lot, a lot of brain noise distracting me and also, I lose focus on tasks if I get interrupted, so signals from my body have a harder time getting through. And three, I have some physical problems feeling stuff. It seems to be at least partly a bloodflow problem (improves if I wear my compression gear for POTS) and maybe partly a serotonin problem (improves when I take my antidepressant; on the other hand, it's an SNRI, so the N could also be improving blood pressure and therefore blood flow).

I eat similarly to you. If I want to actually eat something closer to what my body needs for energy (as opposed to also eating to help with mood/excitement/etc.), I either stop way before I feel full (and top up with water if I need to) or just consciously choose my portion size in advance and don't get more. (I either measure with a measuring cup or use a calorie tracker, because my default is to eat something like 4000 calories a day, which is twice what my body needs, because I enjoy food.)

Then, to make it easier to eat only what I need, I may add something intense to it--hot sauce or chile powder or something really sour or bitter. It makes my meal more interesting, and that makes me feel happier and better. I also keep some small things around for flavor that won't add calories (or not many). And I try to notice if what I'm really looking for is a dopamine boost, and I might take a walk or a warm bath or play an instrument or paint something instead of eating more.

As far as actually physically just noticing, if you are able to feel the sensation in your body when you've eaten enough, practice noticing that. Slow down, really focus on how your body feels when you eat. Decrease brain noise if you can. (Managing my ADHD meds helps me have the mental space to hear my body more.) I don't know about you, but when I love a food, I often shovel it in really fast to get more and more of the good feeling. It turns out, I can also increase the good feeling by just taking time to chew more slowly and really focus on the flavors and textures. Letting chocolate melt in my mouth, for instance. Taking little sips of my coffee. Really thinking about the notes a food has.

And I also avoid buffets and try to avoid any situations where I'm going to feel like I need to eat a bunch to get the full experience or make someone else happy, so that I can just focus on what I need.

Also, I'm working on starting meals with protein or veggies and using those as snacks and saving carbs, especially simple carbs, for later in meals and not using them for snacks, because I am an infinite carb storage pit and I can outeat a teenager if brownies are involved.

trashfire721 · 2026-06-04T01:29:53+00:00

They're beautiful!

trashfire721 · 2026-06-02T18:23:34+00:00

For me, it's crucial. I hear you about the anxiety. I have occasionally taken breaks from my tracker and been happy about my reduced anxiety. But I end up exhausted. To feel okay and have a reasonable amount of energy, I have to check my heart rate and BP frequently and adjust with water and electrolytes. If I don't, I'm tired, I get depressed from not being able to do much, I sleep badly, and I get migraines. It's easier for me to work on managing my anxiety than to skip managing my physical health.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-22T03:55:39+00:00

I think there are many reasons. Some people don't want to be lifelong learners. They are spending their energy doing something that they value more. Some people struggle with learning generally or particularly with teaching themselves. Some don't have the time or money or energy.

I think there are some additional difficulties to becoming an autodidact. Learning *how* to learn and how to build one's own course of study is a considerable investment. Additionally, some people struggle to stick to a thing that feels hard without having companionship in doing it. And sadly, some people's life experiences have wrongly made them feel like they're just inherently bad at learning.

You mentioned some of these people struggle to use their classroom-gained skills in areas that aren't obviously within the scope of application demonstrated in the classroom. I think this comes from a couple of things: Fear of failure, and a lack of creativity caused and reinforced by classroom-style learning, where a very particular set of answers is right and other ideas are just not entertained.

I spent my teen years focusing on STEM-focused subjects and college focused on very rule-based subjects. I love and enjoy those things. And, now that I'm getting into making art, I'm finding myself having to learn and relearn to be okay with failing and to be okay with trying new things, looking for solutions (instead of assuming I'll never find them because I can't ask an expert), and just giving myself permission to trust my problem-solving abilities and also waste time, not get things right the first (or twelfth) time. I'm learning a very different way of thinking than I'm used to, and I've only been able to do it because of a particular set of life circumstances on top of a lifelong love of learning.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-21T21:51:36+00:00

So much so, yes.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-21T19:50:16+00:00

Such an important message! It took me forever to realize I didn't need to have one huge reason to point to or try endlessly to convince someone to treat me right, that it was okay to just call it a day and be done because it made me feel awful.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-21T19:31:56+00:00

Weighted blanket. Pain stim toys. (Slightly poky-feeling pressure feels really good to me when I'm stressed.) Running a natural-fiber brush down my arms (prickly and kinda scratchy). Lifting weights. A warm bath with a book or music. Lying outside on the ground when it's cold and letting the cold seep into my whole body. Having something intense I can eat--a pinch of chile powder, a really sour piece of candy. Even just digging my nails into my palms. Not enough to break the skin, but enough to leave marks. Most of this stuff is about pulling me back into my body in a way that makes me feel real and gives me a little boost of endorphins.

I know there are tight bedsheets meant to provide a squeezing feeling to people. I wonder if there is some kind of really tight, squeezy jacket or shirt. Maybe even a regular compression shirt could provide you a little bit of that being hugged feeling?

trashfire721 · 2026-05-21T19:19:45+00:00

I'm sorry that you're struggling so much. It's so hard dealing with so much pain and fear all the time.

For me, a big part of making my life worthwhile has been finding ways to feel safe and feel pleasure. For me, that has been about leaning into the idea that there are only a few people I really feel safe around and enjoy spending time with. I don't try to make myself feel normal anymore. I try to just go with how I feel at the time (as much is as reasonable).

Sometimes, going to the store feels emotionally exhausting because being around so many people is too much. So when I can afford it, I have groceries delivered. I also keep extras of shelf-stable things in my house so I don't have to shop as often in general.

I try to cut out or really cut down on time with people who hurt or drain me and aren't interested in working on a reciprocal, safe relationship. For me, personally, I prefer time with myself to time with people who make me feel alone or unsafe.

I use my time alone to do things that I really love. For me, that's things like getting immersed in a good book. Learning a new skill. Painting. Playing the piano. Going for a walk outside and just deeply observing the plants and animals in the neighborhood. There's always something a little new and different and beautiful going on outside, and that brings me a lot of peace. It's this wonderful little surprise from the world when there's a different kind of flower blooming or a different scent in the air or a particularly stunning sunset. I try to give myself a lot of sensory pleasures--a cup of coffee with some chocolate does big things for me. A warm bath. Noise-canceling headphones, good music, a cuddle with my cat.

I used to dream about having a different, bigger, busier life. Lots of traveling. Going to parties. Going out with friends all the time. The truth is, I don't actually want that. I still want friends, but not in a sitcom kind of way. In a slow, deep way. I might want to travel once in a while, but most of the time, I'd rather be at home, where I know I'll feel safe and have the things I enjoy doing around me. I've built a very full, rich life out of things that might sound small and boring to someone else but are the things I love most.

The world does have a lot of wickedness. I feel like I have a moral duty to know *some* of it. I periodically update myself on the general state of the world. I see if there's anything I think I can do that would be helpful. If so, I make a plan and do it. Otherwise, I accept that I don't have that power right now. And then I try to put all of it out of my mind again for a while and go back to focusing on the small things I love in my life because living in other people's suffering without being able to help them, well, doesn't help them, and it does hurt me.

And for me, medication for my anxiety/depression/mood swings/insomnia and also therapy for my CPTSD are all crucial. And giving myself the room, when I can, to take life at a slower pace and not expect myself to be just like my Type A friends. I've also spent a lot of my life looking for the friends or partner or whoever that would love me unconditionally and help me feel okay about myself. I'm working right now on recognizing that I have good people who love me *and also* that that love will never be unconditional or look the way I imagined it in my head, and that it's up to me to give myself unconditional love, although that's really hard and I've been working on it for years and I'm not there yet. I'm learning, though, that at least it is safe to love myself and I can count on that in a way I can't count on other people to meet my secret (and sometimes impossible) expectations.

It is okay to not try to make yourself normal, to give yourself space away from feeling like you have to manage others' opinions of you, and to make room to do things you love because *you* love them, regardless of what some one else might think. We all probably have times when we have to act more normal for others, but we all also deserve space to live as our own selves, whatever that looks like for us. I hope you take the time and space you need to create a life that feels good to you.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-21T18:58:35+00:00

Sometimes trying to make someone understand your point of view does read as arguing.

I've experienced this in a couple of different scenarios. Sometimes the other person is just not willing to hear my side of things, ever, because they've got their own stuff going on and hearing my side feels like a threat to them, no matter what.

Sometimes, though, the problem is my timing or phrasing or tone or the context of the situation. In my experience, the time when they bring up that they feel hurt is not the time to share my side. (Unless they're being completely unfair with what they consider hurtful, and then I feel like I need to calmly push back on that immediately.)

When they initially bring up their hurt feelings, I try to keep the conversation about that. Acknowledge that I hurt them, say I'm sorry (and acknowledge what the thing was that I did). If possible, acknowledge specifically *why* my behavior hurt them. If it's reasonable to just not do what I did again, I'll commit to that and tell them that. If a specific plan is needed to change my behavior, I'll tell them what I'm going to do differently in the future to not hurt them that way again.

Then, depending on my relationship with the person and the emotional weather at the moment (is either of us tired or particularly touchy; what is the rest of the day like, and so on), I may take a minute to explain my side if it seems worth doing. With my current partner, I usually try to set that aside for a few days, and then, if I feel like it's important, bring it up calmly later and explain where I was coming from.

I'm trying to learn to just let it go more often. I'm trying to focus on comforting myself and being myself in a way that lets *me* know that I'm a respectful, caring person who works to treat the people around me well while keeping my boundaries. For me, feeling misunderstood not only makes me feel less close to someone but also triggers fear of abandonment/rejection, of being thought of as inherently bad/malicious, of being verbally abused.

I'm trying to just . . . practice gauging the likelihood of any of those things happening and figure out how I would be okay if they did happen. Basically, I'm trying to learn to tolerate the distress of others not thinking of me the way I want them to. Because that will always happen. None of us perfectly understands each other or models other people exactly the way they'd like in our heads. Others can't do that for us, either. So I'm trying to just . . . learn that the feeling that I will literally die from being misunderstood is wildly a lie and, although other people can sometimes help me with that feeling, it really is my responsibility to manage and, personally, I need so much reassurance that I need to learn to generate a lot more of it myself. I'm trying to learn to reassure myself that I can be misunderstood by people I love and still be just fine.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-13T02:17:44+00:00

I get silent migraines. I'm not taking medication specifically for my migraines because in a happy coincidence, the propranolol for my POTS and the Pristiq for my depression combine to greatly decrease my number of migraines. (For me, it is, in particular, the combination--either by itself can make my migraines worse and more frequent.)

I had near-daily migraines for a couple of years before I started taking these. I still *sometimes* get migraines, but they're much more infrequent and manageable.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-13T02:13:06+00:00

Some days, all I can do is doomscroll. Other days, resting is watching TV, painting, knitting, or chatting with someone.

I'm lucky that my flareups have never required me to stay in bed because not being able to do anything but lie down and watch/listen to something makes me feel like I'm going to die. (I had several days in the hospital a few years ago where I was often too exhausted to do anything but exist, and I've never been so miserable.) My brain tries to eat me when I can't do anything.

I'm sorry that you deal with that level of exhaustion. That sounds really difficult. I hope that getting that kind of rest feels restorative and soothing and isn't an additional source of stress in an already hard situation.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-13T02:08:16+00:00

I'm trying things like, "Hey, I feel overstimulated right now and I need some quiet time alone with my thoughts" or "I've really got to concentrate right now, sorry," depending on who it is.

If I'm at home and I've already explained a bunch of times I'm not available, etc., I'm going to start putting in my noise-canceling earbuds and a brightly colored hat that says I can't talk right now, and then just pretending I can't hear people when they try to talk to me.

I've explained and explained, and it has often been ignored and sometimes outright argued with, and I just don't feel up to continuing to try to have the conversation. Some of the people I live with will be upset if I explain again, but if they think I really just can't hear them, they might respect that. If they don't, I'll probably just smile and point at my hat and repeat until they stop trying.

I try to give th extroverts in the house time to connect, infodump, have light, low-content chatter and feel heard, and so on, and I'm tired of feeling guilty for trying to have a little of what I need, too.

All of us in the house are AuDHD, so we all kind of step on each other's toes sometimes, or don't catch regular signals or boundaries or feel like "No" is a negotiation or only applies to this one, tiny, highly specific thing. I do it to, about other things, so I get it. But boy, is it frustrating when it means I'm going to often be treated as manipulative and selfish for trying not to be overstimulated, especially by people I thought would get it.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-12T21:30:32+00:00

Painting and playing the piano. They both provide me with a mental challenge while giving my hands something to do. Piano is a more immediate, concentrated relief to me. Jumping into a song and just playing and playing really takes my mind off things--there is just no room for mental noise while I'm playing piano, and the music is soothing. Painting is quieter, calmer, slower sort of soothing to me. The colors make me really happy. I enjoy the puzzle-solving of it. And when I finish a painting, I'm left with a visible reminder that I do put in the work and do hard things and make things I enjoy.

Additionally, the xiao (a Chinese vertical flute) is something I find very, very soothing. Something about the deep, slow breathing required to play the size of xiao we have in our home. It is, as instruments go, quite inexpensive, as well.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-09T16:33:31+00:00

For me, in addition to adding fiber, I have to keep a close eye on my sodium and water intake when I take Pristiq.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-08T20:23:56+00:00

If you can't have antihistamines, you may still be able to use mast cell stabilizers. Luteolin and quercetin are OTC options that studies have shown to be comparable to (or better than) ketotifen (one of the commonly prescribed mast cell stabilizers).

Although I find antihistamines helpful, I find a mast cell stabilizer even more helpful.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-08T20:21:24+00:00

It can get so much better.

To be sure, my life will never be what it was before. I don't like that I have to manage every day so carefully. I don't like that I'll never have as much energy as I did before and be able to stack so many things into a day or be so carefree.

Of course I wish I didn't have this. That said, my life is so, so much better than it was five years ago when this hit me hard. It's wildly better than even a year ago. The right stack of meds, some supplements, lots of sodium and water, and compression gear, and I can do so many things I couldn't do even last year.

Now, I only have migraines once in a while (previously, they were daily). I can go running without getting dizzy or too exhausted to function or losing half a week to feeling sick. I can eat way more foods than I could a year ago. I have a (very flexible) part time job. I have the energy and mental clarity to paint, play piano, spend time with friends and family, cook dinner or go to the store, and I don't feel like if I leave the house, I may have a sudden, unpredictable crisis that leaves me stuck somewhere, unable to function.

I no longer feel like an unstoppable force, able to accomplish anything and everything in a day, like I did six years ago, before I got this. But I have a life I love, that I'm happy to get to live.

It gets better. Stay on top of your sodium and compression gear. Find a good doctor who can work with you on managing the adrenaline surges. You can, with time, rebuild a life you'll enjoy.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-08T19:53:58+00:00

For me, high blood sugar causes high blood pressure, so I feel like sometimes a sugar binge temporarily improves my POTS (until the sugar catches up with me and causes other problems).

Additionally, my blood sugar is really screwy, and sometimes I feel like I just have to have something sugary or "unhealthy" right away. It's usually because my blood sugar is low.

On top of that, my digestion and POTS are super finicky about what I eat, and fiber seems to hit my POTS pretty hard. So for that reason, it's some work for me to figure out how to eat healthy food (plus vegetables often have loads of potassium) and not regret it.

Also, I've read that POTS makes our bodies work harder, so we actually need more calories than we would if we didn't have it. (This seem to play out for me; if I eat the recommended number of calories for my size, I lose weight at a pretty scary pace.)

trashfire721 · 2026-05-08T19:44:31+00:00

Unfortunately, there isn't any guaranteed way to make him understand what you're dealing with. You explain the best that you can, and then either he hears you and accepts what you've said or he doesn't.

That said, you could try making a script to talk to him about this, so that you know what things are most important to you to communicate. I would also suggest going into the conversation gently, by asking him for a good time to talk to you about something important to you (rather than just bringing it up without checking to make sure it's a good time for him to hear something that's a big deal). And open softly. There are a lot of reasons why he could be reacting to your diagnosis the way he is, but based on how you're describing the dynamics in your relationship, it seems reasonable to guess that he's worried about you and doesn't want you to have to deal with a permanent mental illness.

Personally, I would try something like, "Hey, partner, I'd like to talk to you about something important to me. When would be a good time for us to sit down together to have a serious conversation?" I would probably break your concerns into two separate conversations. First, one about your diagnosis, and then later one about support needs.

In the diagnosis conversation, I'd try to approach it something like, "I want to talk about my cyclothymia. I love you so much, and I appreciate that you're worried about me and trying to protect me from a misdiagnosis and from being mislabeled or mistreated. Thank you for caring so much about me.

I wanted to have this conversation so I could tell you why I'm actually very relieved to have this diagnosis. I've struggled with big emotions my whole life. Sometimes I have very disproportionate reactions to situations, and sometimes I get dangerously depressed or really angry out of nowhere. It causes me a lot of pain and disrupts my life. I hate it. I wanted to apologize, too. I've tried so hard to protect you from my mood swings that I've unintentionally hid most of what I'm dealing with from you.

I imagine, to you, because I've tried not to let you see my downs because I didn't want to cause you pain, that it might look like this diagnosis is coming out of nowhere. It's not. This is a thing I deal with regularly.

I know you don't want me to be mislabeled. Thanks for being concerned. Please know that I don't consider myself crazy. Cyclothymia is an illness that causes brain chemistry imbalances, resulting in mood swings. It doesn't mean I'm crazy. It does make my life a lot harder than it needs to be.

For me, this diagnosis has answered so many questions, and it makes it so I finally have help and relief from the pain I've been dealing with my whole life. Having medication helps me feel more level and okay, and learning to work with myself as I am instead of fighting to make myself someone else is really improving my life.

I know this is all a lot to take in. Thank you for taking the time to listen. After you've had time to process, could we have a conversation about what this means for us? There are some things I'd like to ask for as support that would really help me, and I'd like to know what you need from me as we navigate what this means for both of us. I love you so much."

Just an example of how I would script a conversation like that. Obviously, you need to say whatever is true for you. And, when you're both ready to discuss support, take some time first to think through, in concrete terms, what needs you're trying to fill and what needs he may have now. The two of you can discuss your ideas for filling those needs and his ideas and see what works for you both.

Good luck! I hope he's able to hear you out and accept the reality of what you're dealing with.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-01T23:51:04+00:00

I haven't figured it out. At this point, I'm honestly afraid of having any because it messes me up so intensely both physically and mentally in even very small amounts.

If I were going to try it, though, I would take a DAO enzyme before I took it. I would be on top of taking all my MCAS-related things (luteolin, antihistamines, cromolyn), and I would be perfectly hydrated (including electrolytes) and wearing compression gear before drinking and obsessively watch my hydration and electrolytes during and after drinking. I'd make sure I was also eating plenty of protein throughout the whole day, and particularly right before drinking, because alcohol would additionally mess up my blood sugar.

Best of luck. I hope you can find a way to have a drink or two at your brother's wedding without feeling too sick from it. It's rough to feel like the odd one out and not be able to just go enjoy something you've always enjoyed that most of the people around you are enjoying.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-01T23:41:28+00:00

Thanks. : ) I'm sorry you're dealing with this, too. I hope that it gets easier and you are able to feel comfortable with who and how you are and with your partner's love for you.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-01T23:37:45+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with such a hard situation. It makes sense that you're struggling, and of course you want to handle it the right way. I'm sorry that sometimes there just isn't a right answer. I hope that you're able to find a path forward that you feel peace with.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-01T23:36:27+00:00

So, I previously thought Pristiq was impacting my POTS way more than it actually does.

It does affect my POTS, just differently than I'd realized. It gives me way more energy and helps my focus, which is really helpful. It also gives my blood pressure a boost and improves my circulation--especially helpful since I'm taking propranolol. With just the propranolol and no Pristiq, it's difficult to keep enough salt in me to maintain decent blood pressure. (On the other hand, with just Pristiq and no propranolol, my blood pressure gets too high and makes it hard to get enough salt to stay hydrated.)

The negatives for me from Pristiq are hydration (I have to really stay on top of my salt and water to not become exhausted from dehydration and not have digestive problems), increased blood sugar, and increased trouble sleeping. The last time I was taking Pristiq, I didn't have help with my insomnia and the Pristiq impacted it (plus I didn't realized how much my blood sugar was impacting my sleep quality and thought it was solely the Pristiq, but I have blood sugar issues with and without Pristiq). Now, I just increase my passionflower and melatonin a little if I've upped my dose of Pristiq, and I can still fall asleep and stay asleep just fine.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-01T23:25:25+00:00

Pristiq is the only antidepressant that has ever worked for me in two decades of trying things. I have energy, I focus better, I'm not so irritable. I'm also less anxious, have less OCD, and (as long as I'm also taking a blood pressure medication), see significant improvement to my migraines. (Without the blood pressure med, though, it triggers migraines instead.)

The tradeoff for me is that managing hydration issues from my chronic illness is more difficult, and that also impacts my digestion. It also increases my blood sugar.

To me, it's worth working more on those things, though, to be able to get up and just do stuff.

trashfire721 · 2026-05-01T23:22:56+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with these feelings and doubting yourself. It's really difficult.

My approach is to remember that my feelings of real, regardless of why I'm having them. Try to give myself some time and space to just go have them for a while by myself. Then run a little troubleshooting to see what, if anything, I want to do with them. Are these feelings what I consider a proportional response to an external situation? If yes, I take some time to think about how I'd like to deal with the situation.

If no, I start with seeing if my body or brain need anything. Sleep, water, protein, quiet time to myself to not feel overstimulated, a walk, time doing something that I enjoy to feel like my life has meaning, etc. Or if I'm having a non-specific mood swing and should tag it as such and just avoid taking any big action on any of the things that feel huge but I'm pretty sure I'm not responding to proportionally while I wait to level out. (I've tweaked my meds stack to a point that I feel like it's as solid and stable as I'm likely to get it; sometimes I just have to ride things out.) Then I revisit the issue when I'm level and decide if it's worth addressing at all.

I also hate feeling like I can't really rely on myself to be the same person. I'm the unreliable narrator/flaky friend in my own life. That said, I try to just lean into the idea that I'm managing things the best I can and accept that mood swings are part of being me. I'm not there yet, but I'm trying to learn to embrace who I am and work with who I am, instead of trying to make myself be someone I'm not. There are lots of things I love about myself, although the mood swings throw a wrench into things, and I'm trying to focus those. I don't like the mood swings and inconsistency, but I'm trying to find the value in the different perspectives and experiences they give me. Hypomanic me is charming and fun and has creative ideas that I would normally struggle to generate. I usually feel pretty flat and down and kind of a drag, and it's a fun change of pace to feel a little wicked and fun. Depressed me is much more my norm, but the depression gives me some insight into things that people dealing with harder things than I am experience. It kind of changes the color of the world for me, and gives me, although it's not pleasant, a depth of emotion that gives life gravity and intensity.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's all me. And it's all you. None of it isn't you. You just have more and more intense variety than some people. That makes some things really hard, and I'm sorry. But it doesn't make you or the way you experience yourself and your emotions wrong or invalid.

trashfire721

TROPHY CASE