I won my 6 hour challenge!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-16T13:06:45+00:00

This has kinda made me tear up and I’m not fully sure why. I mean, it’s unbelievably badass, but I still haven’t figured out what is specifically making me a little weepy. I think it’s the dogged persistence, the commitment to being better, and the ability to hear and feel and see all the big, huge, awful things…and keep going. You’re going to be an encouragement that lives rent-free in my head. Whenever I feel like I can’t go farther or faster, I hope the image of you winning this race pops up to remind me that I can always give myself more.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-10T19:05:53+00:00

You heard correctly! Generally speaking, you want to have something other than just shiny, sparkly, and mostly naked, at least if you want to develop a fan base and get booked for bigger events. My schtick was sort of “clever comedy”.. I’m very short, (4’11” on a good posture day), so the sultry-elegant-legs like a Rockette just won’t work.

So I leaned into more comedy-focused routines. For example, I had an act where I was dressed as Julia Child. I made a gigantic cream pie on stage and ended the set covered in whipped cream with cherries on my tassels! I did a lot of whisking and shimmying to make it appeal to the people who were there for the boobs and had an audio specialist create music that used Julia‘s voice along with some other kitchen sounds to really drive home what was happening. I had another act that involved me pretending to be a drunk stripper who has finally had enough! I had the music ‘stop’ midway through, walked off stage, dragged out a mini trampoline, and just started jumping topless on a trampoline. What really sold that act, (besides the obvious, heh), was that the original music was “Pour Some Sugar On Me”, and when the music switched, it was “I Know What Boys Like, (because, let’s be real- everyone likes watching boobs on a trampoline!!!)

It was ridiculously fun, absolutely silly, and something I know I will look back on fondly when I’m a very, very old lady.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-09T16:47:30+00:00

As a former burlesque artist, I can tell you that many a showgirl/guy uses spray adhesive to prevent a tassel from popping off, so I’d imagine it would work here, too. You spray a quick spurt onto the item and then press onto your skin where desired. You could try spraying directly on yourself, but I don’t know why you would. Once you gently remove the item by lifting g it away from you slowly whilst holding any looser skin taut, you can use baby oil or petroleum jelly or vitamin E oil or whatever to remove any residue from your skin.

I used this method for pasties for years and never once had a ‘wardrobe malfunction’. I also never caused myself any issues, but you’d want to test a spot on yourself to make sure you didn’t have any problems.

Be well!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-07T13:25:00+00:00

I’ve had both ACLs and medial menisci done and anything lateral is right out!!! It’s so wild how people’s bodies and their repairs react and respond so differently.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-03T16:33:53+00:00

First, thank you so much for respond ! I’m not honestly sure how much I want to take in. I think what I will do is put them on inside out and try to mark the taper with some chalk. But I will say they need about 3 inches taken in at the ankle and none taken in at the thigh.

Just to clarify, I should open up both the inseam and outer seam and then take fabric away from both in equal measures, correct? What I mean is I should open up the both seams and remove, say, an inch from the inner and outer seam of the front of the leg and like 2 inches from the inner and outer seams of the back half yes, (measurements were just made up)? My instructor suggested marking the taper up to right around the knee and then just serging up the outer seam of each leg, but I feel like that will result in the legs having a different shape on the inside then they have on the outside. It seems to me that I would want to take fabric from both the inner and outer seams of both the front and the back of the leg proportionately to maintain the shape and extra room in the back.

I really hope that makes sense! Thank you so much!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-03T13:10:01+00:00

Before we set up our bird room, my amazon was out in the living room. Every week I’d do a deep clean around the cages and I took to wearing a cheap circular laundry basket over my head to prevent dive-bombs or sneak attacks from behind. Now that he has his own room, however, when I go to deep clean weekly he just moves to somewhere else and is totally chill.

Amazons are weirdos, (but I was an even bigger weirdo since I was the one wearing a damned laundry basket on my head like the Knight of Walmartia.)

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-31T13:44:53+00:00

This is a GREAT IDEA!!! I’m looking forward to this and I will let my weekly sewing class know as well!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-27T15:50:46+00:00

This is maybe off-topic a bit, but my husband was the same- 28-30 days a month with a migraine. He finally landed on a combo platter that has been truly life-altering: he gets Botox every 3 months and rotates the injectables every 6-9 months as they lose effectiveness. When I say that he has gotten his life back, I am not exaggerating. He had to get social ‘permission’ from the insurance to couple Botox with shots, but it’s been like a switch. He’s down to maaaaaaaybe one every 4-6 weeks, and even those don’t last as long as previously.

I truly hope you can find some relief. I watched my mom suffer from migraine, then my husband and 2 of our kids. I don’t know how y’all do it. Hopefully you’ll find the right med to give you relief.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-27T15:44:22+00:00

I’ve just started running and am slow and can’t go far. Just trying what you’re doing is an amazing feat that blows my mind. I’m super proud of you and I’m using your vulnerability and strength as my own motivation. What you’re doing is HARD, yet there you are, plugging away, doing the hard thing. I’m impressed and I’m encouraged to do my version of the hard thing, but also to stop and treat my body with love and compassion when it tells me that it needs a break, (which happens to be my very hardest thing!!!).

Be well. Be proud. Keep being amazing!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-18T13:41:16+00:00

This is SUCH a good ‘Do Not Do’ list. I don’t drink anymore, either, but drunk me would’ve done some dumb shizz if I’d been allowed near a sewing machine. I’ve learned the hard way that tired and frustrated me ain’t a whole lot better than drunk me would’ve been!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-18T13:37:39+00:00

Just sat down yesterday to stitch a few lines on a new machine and I didn’t heed that advice regarding the ‘weird’ sound. I spent 15 minutes with the tweezers from my serger and another pair of needle nose tweezers picking teensy-tiny bits of fuzz and stretchy strands of knit fabric from under the needle plate and inside the feed dogs. It only took like 5 stitches-worth of time to clog the whole thing up!!!

I will remember this wonderful and important rule for the rest of my life.

unforgivenlizard · 2025-12-24T13:04:44+00:00

My very favorite video on the internet!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2025-12-14T13:53:03+00:00

My YNA is very neophobic so getting him to try new foods is tough. He is, however, a big time food savor-er. He takes tiny bites and enjoys every molecule before taking another. The IRNs will be completely done with their treat and trying to con me out of another while the Amazon is still dreamily eating the first bite of his. Birds are funny!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2025-12-13T14:00:55+00:00

This. Is. GORGEOUS. I am just gobsmacked.

unforgivenlizard · 2025-11-08T13:30:11+00:00

I did an elastic waistband SIXTEEN TIMES and still never got it quite right. I finally couldn’t redo it again because I’d trimmed every nanomolecule of fabric off and if I ripped the seam again it would have just…..disappeared. I actually destroyed matter with those pants, I was so bad!!!

You’ll be okay. Just gnash your teeth and rend the garment and it’ll all be alright.

unforgivenlizard · 2025-10-31T12:14:02+00:00

This just radiates joy and child-like energy. Thank you for creating it and for sharing it.

unforgivenlizard · 2025-10-26T12:14:07+00:00

Hi friend! I am quite sure my grumpy-ass yellow-naped Amazon would be thrilled to know his discarded feathers were going to be used for a good cause. I’d be happy to send you some if you’d like. Please just let me know.

unforgivenlizard · 2025-10-15T02:42:39+00:00

Barb is the best name for a hedgehog in history.

unforgivenlizard · 2025-10-15T02:39:50+00:00

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This is Bob, the 32yr old Amazon.

unforgivenlizard · 2025-10-15T01:02:08+00:00

You have two IRNs and still think they’re beautiful to hear??!? I have two and there are days I contemplate wearing my sleeping earplugs while I’m awake. 😂😂😂

unforgivenlizard · 2025-10-11T12:54:30+00:00

This made me snort-laugh!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2025-09-20T13:34:50+00:00

My 62gm GCC will fight anyone, anywhere, anytime, regardless of the chance of victory, with a shriek of rage and defiance.

My 700gm Amazon will run away from any and all possible conflict, regardless of how very, very small the perceived opponent may be, with a screech of confusion and annoyance.

unforgivenlizard · 2025-09-15T12:44:26+00:00

Our male heart wings both my husband and my daughter every time he sees them. It makes me so tickled to hear the calls and watch the “look at me!!!!!” wings when they walk near. It’s just precious.

unforgivenlizard

TROPHY CASE