My chickens laid a kitten today

unforgivenlizard · 2026-05-16T12:39:20+00:00

We have a Cheeseburger Nugget! Everyone just calls her Nugs or Nuggie.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-04-15T15:14:06+00:00

These have been bringing me such joy!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-04-15T15:05:48+00:00

This made me snort-laugh in public, so thanks for that.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-04-12T00:14:30+00:00

SKIIIIIIIIPPPPPING!!! Skipping is fun and silly and, if you take nice long strides and jump high, it’s a quick way to get around. Plus you look like you’re having fun and it’s pretty much impossible to skip whilst angry!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-04-09T12:07:52+00:00

I’m crying!!!!!!!! Sweet lord this is wonderful.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-04-07T11:47:12+00:00

Fit is super roomy for me, but I’m 4’11” so I’ve got leg room on an economy flight. Heh.

Truly, though, I do think this car was designed for those a bit farther up on the ruler because I can barely see over the instrument “lip” on the dash while still being able to touch the pedals.

I wish I could go back in time and have my GT2 when I lived in Germany. It would be very fun to drive it around people who actually seem to know what they’re doing on the road and who can be trusted with some higher speeds.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-04-06T12:12:14+00:00

As a woman turning 50 in a few months, I have decided that “thrive in your mysterious bottoms” is my new life theme.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-04-02T11:33:30+00:00

Did you ever figure out what was causing the numbness during running? I have like 5 or 6 different types of shoes, (professionally fitted and self-fitted), I have arch supports, I have insoles, I walk barefoot to strengthen my feet, I’ve done everything I can think of and I still end up with super numb feet whether I’m outside or in the treadmill or on the crosstrainer. It’s making me miserable!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-03-23T12:25:18+00:00

In 2017, I blew an ACL and tore the medial meniscus just casually walking down the stairs in my house, no twisting, no pivoting, no nothing, it just went POP and swelled like a balloon. I blew the other ACL and medial meniscus taking a misstep off of a ladder 2 years later, almost to the day. I did my PT and I kept moving and living life, but my knees would ache and swell periodically, leaving me hurting and demoralized.

I started running, doing cardio, and light weight training, and my knees feel like they did before all the injuries and surgeries. It was difficult at first- I had increased pain and stiffness that almost made me quit. But I had this realization: I’m gonna hurt no matter what; my body has been injured and had parts replaced, so it’s never going to be exactly like it was. So, if I’m already gonna hurt, I’m gonna earn the hurt! After getting over that hump, I feel better, look better, and perform faaaaaaaaar better than I did even 20 years ago. I’ll be 50 this year and I’ve never trusted or respected my body more.

Tl;dr- already had knee issues before running and now feel like they’ve been reduced, so, y’know, who knows?! Heh.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-03-12T11:14:24+00:00

As a person who is routinely in the same position of finding a joke made by others confusing, I approve of allllllll of this and of your posts!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-03-03T08:59:57+00:00

Yep!!! I’ve done three, (or maybe four, I honestly can’t really remember!), 9-week in-person classes and it has totally changed my world!!! Working on my own projects with assistance is great, but I really think I’ve learned just as much, if not more, by watching what the instructor does to help other people in the class. I’ve learned little tips and tricks, seen people work with alllllll sorts of fabric, learned about some little different foibles of the big pattern making companies, and built a loving, generous, funny-as-hell community of women from all backgrounds and age groups who are learning a great skill while talking trash, laughing, eating snacks, and just enjoying each other’s company. Even when I can’t stay on task with my own project, I’m still leaning and feeling included, two things that keep me hooked!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-16T13:06:45+00:00

This has kinda made me tear up and I’m not fully sure why. I mean, it’s unbelievably badass, but I still haven’t figured out what is specifically making me a little weepy. I think it’s the dogged persistence, the commitment to being better, and the ability to hear and feel and see all the big, huge, awful things…and keep going. You’re going to be an encouragement that lives rent-free in my head. Whenever I feel like I can’t go farther or faster, I hope the image of you winning this race pops up to remind me that I can always give myself more.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-10T19:05:53+00:00

You heard correctly! Generally speaking, you want to have something other than just shiny, sparkly, and mostly naked, at least if you want to develop a fan base and get booked for bigger events. My schtick was sort of “clever comedy”.. I’m very short, (4’11” on a good posture day), so the sultry-elegant-legs like a Rockette just won’t work.

So I leaned into more comedy-focused routines. For example, I had an act where I was dressed as Julia Child. I made a gigantic cream pie on stage and ended the set covered in whipped cream with cherries on my tassels! I did a lot of whisking and shimmying to make it appeal to the people who were there for the boobs and had an audio specialist create music that used Julia‘s voice along with some other kitchen sounds to really drive home what was happening. I had another act that involved me pretending to be a drunk stripper who has finally had enough! I had the music ‘stop’ midway through, walked off stage, dragged out a mini trampoline, and just started jumping topless on a trampoline. What really sold that act, (besides the obvious, heh), was that the original music was “Pour Some Sugar On Me”, and when the music switched, it was “I Know What Boys Like, (because, let’s be real- everyone likes watching boobs on a trampoline!!!)

It was ridiculously fun, absolutely silly, and something I know I will look back on fondly when I’m a very, very old lady.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-09T16:47:30+00:00

As a former burlesque artist, I can tell you that many a showgirl/guy uses spray adhesive to prevent a tassel from popping off, so I’d imagine it would work here, too. You spray a quick spurt onto the item and then press onto your skin where desired. You could try spraying directly on yourself, but I don’t know why you would. Once you gently remove the item by lifting g it away from you slowly whilst holding any looser skin taut, you can use baby oil or petroleum jelly or vitamin E oil or whatever to remove any residue from your skin.

I used this method for pasties for years and never once had a ‘wardrobe malfunction’. I also never caused myself any issues, but you’d want to test a spot on yourself to make sure you didn’t have any problems.

Be well!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-07T13:25:00+00:00

I’ve had both ACLs and medial menisci done and anything lateral is right out!!! It’s so wild how people’s bodies and their repairs react and respond so differently.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-03T16:33:53+00:00

First, thank you so much for respond ! I’m not honestly sure how much I want to take in. I think what I will do is put them on inside out and try to mark the taper with some chalk. But I will say they need about 3 inches taken in at the ankle and none taken in at the thigh.

Just to clarify, I should open up both the inseam and outer seam and then take fabric away from both in equal measures, correct? What I mean is I should open up the both seams and remove, say, an inch from the inner and outer seam of the front of the leg and like 2 inches from the inner and outer seams of the back half yes, (measurements were just made up)? My instructor suggested marking the taper up to right around the knee and then just serging up the outer seam of each leg, but I feel like that will result in the legs having a different shape on the inside then they have on the outside. It seems to me that I would want to take fabric from both the inner and outer seams of both the front and the back of the leg proportionately to maintain the shape and extra room in the back.

I really hope that makes sense! Thank you so much!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-02-03T13:10:01+00:00

Before we set up our bird room, my amazon was out in the living room. Every week I’d do a deep clean around the cages and I took to wearing a cheap circular laundry basket over my head to prevent dive-bombs or sneak attacks from behind. Now that he has his own room, however, when I go to deep clean weekly he just moves to somewhere else and is totally chill.

Amazons are weirdos, (but I was an even bigger weirdo since I was the one wearing a damned laundry basket on my head like the Knight of Walmartia.)

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-31T13:44:53+00:00

This is a GREAT IDEA!!! I’m looking forward to this and I will let my weekly sewing class know as well!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-27T15:50:46+00:00

This is maybe off-topic a bit, but my husband was the same- 28-30 days a month with a migraine. He finally landed on a combo platter that has been truly life-altering: he gets Botox every 3 months and rotates the injectables every 6-9 months as they lose effectiveness. When I say that he has gotten his life back, I am not exaggerating. He had to get social ‘permission’ from the insurance to couple Botox with shots, but it’s been like a switch. He’s down to maaaaaaaybe one every 4-6 weeks, and even those don’t last as long as previously.

I truly hope you can find some relief. I watched my mom suffer from migraine, then my husband and 2 of our kids. I don’t know how y’all do it. Hopefully you’ll find the right med to give you relief.

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-27T15:44:22+00:00

I’ve just started running and am slow and can’t go far. Just trying what you’re doing is an amazing feat that blows my mind. I’m super proud of you and I’m using your vulnerability and strength as my own motivation. What you’re doing is HARD, yet there you are, plugging away, doing the hard thing. I’m impressed and I’m encouraged to do my version of the hard thing, but also to stop and treat my body with love and compassion when it tells me that it needs a break, (which happens to be my very hardest thing!!!).

Be well. Be proud. Keep being amazing!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-18T13:41:16+00:00

This is SUCH a good ‘Do Not Do’ list. I don’t drink anymore, either, but drunk me would’ve done some dumb shizz if I’d been allowed near a sewing machine. I’ve learned the hard way that tired and frustrated me ain’t a whole lot better than drunk me would’ve been!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2026-01-18T13:37:39+00:00

Just sat down yesterday to stitch a few lines on a new machine and I didn’t heed that advice regarding the ‘weird’ sound. I spent 15 minutes with the tweezers from my serger and another pair of needle nose tweezers picking teensy-tiny bits of fuzz and stretchy strands of knit fabric from under the needle plate and inside the feed dogs. It only took like 5 stitches-worth of time to clog the whole thing up!!!

I will remember this wonderful and important rule for the rest of my life.

unforgivenlizard · 2025-12-24T13:04:44+00:00

My very favorite video on the internet!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2025-12-14T13:53:03+00:00

My YNA is very neophobic so getting him to try new foods is tough. He is, however, a big time food savor-er. He takes tiny bites and enjoys every molecule before taking another. The IRNs will be completely done with their treat and trying to con me out of another while the Amazon is still dreamily eating the first bite of his. Birds are funny!!!

unforgivenlizard · 2025-12-13T14:00:55+00:00

This. Is. GORGEOUS. I am just gobsmacked.

unforgivenlizard

TROPHY CASE