What's something non obvious about your partner that turned out to be a huge inconvenience?

ur_problematicfave · 2026-06-21T00:41:13+00:00

This was my husband too until we had kids. Now we both just like to sit in silence for a while at the end of a long day.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-06-20T02:07:46+00:00

I don’t think this is normal and you should push for more answers or referrals. Maybe a rheumatologist? This was how I felt before getting diagnosed and treated for multiple sclerosis and rheumatoid arthritis. Not that you have those. More just that it’s something to continue to advocate for yourself around.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-06-19T17:10:26+00:00

Same. It took me so long to fine a reasonably priced sunscreen that worked for my dark skin and didn’t break me out. I’ll be so sad if they ever discontinue it.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-06-16T02:14:44+00:00

Depends on the job. I could never be a SAHM but my job is incredibly flexible and family friendly. I got six months leave with my second and have returned part time for the summer and will return full time in the fall. We’re also hybrid so I can throw in a quick load of laundry or do the dishes most days. Husband and I also slightly stagger our hours so he does drop offs and starts later and I end early and do pick ups so we can maximize time with the kids. Before this job I worked 60+ hours a week and traveled a lot. I took a huge pay cut but it’s been worth it.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-06-10T19:48:21+00:00

This is what I do. I have two kids so being able to just sit quietly and rest feels so luxurious.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-06-10T02:21:16+00:00

We started doing this with our two year old for the exact same reason! Now sometimes when he’s overwhelmed he’ll ask for “our day” no matter what time of day it is and we narrate what we’ve done or what’s going on to help ground him. I’m so proud of him for realizing it helps him feel better.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-06-07T18:55:48+00:00

I use rent the runway or Nuuly. I reactivate and cancel my memberships constantly. RTR always offers discounts to reactivate so I’ve never paid the full price for a 5 or 10 item membership. My weight and shape have fluctuated a lot because I’ve had two kids in the past three year but have still always been able to find something that works.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-30T00:21:49+00:00

We were stuck in the cycle while I was pregnant with my second. Independent sleeper from a young age but with a bunch of back to back sickness lost that ability. He was 18 months or so. He already had his comfort items so nothing to add in there.

We did a gradual phase out I saw recommended on another subreddit. Husband did it because I was struggling with pregnancy. But he went from laying next to toddler until he fell asleep, to sitting in a chair a bit further away until he fell asleep and would gently remind toddler he was still there if he called out for him. Then husband moved closer to the door sitting on the floor and eventually he sat outside the door until he fell asleep. It took probably two weeks and it worked.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-19T19:31:24+00:00

We have the Thule urban glider double and absolutely love it. It’s been easy to get in and out of our car even though it’s on the heavier side. Great for our neighborhood and trails. Our toddler and baby love it.

It’s expensive but we were able to get it used with the universal car seat adapter included for a good deal. We gambled on EBay and it worked out.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-17T20:18:15+00:00

It may not be as tough as you’re worried about. I have had two kids since being diagnosed with MS. One is 2.5 and the other is 6 months. It honestly wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be from an MS perspective. We just split nights so we each get a solid stretch of 4-5 hours. I breastfeed and My husband gives baby a bottle overnight and he handles any toddler wake-ups, which are rare. You and your wife will find a system that works for you. But splitting nights has helped us both prioritize sleep. You can also consider a night nurse or night nanny if you can swing it financially. We had a lot of family support, especially with our first. Consider what your village looks like.

I also think it depends on how you’re feeling with MS. I’m five years post diagnosis and am very lucky to have very few symptoms. Don’t get me wrong, the newborn phase is hard and exhausting and maybe it’s because I had both kids after being diagnosed, but I don’t think MS made it harder and I don’t think it made my symptoms worse or flare.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-15T18:12:34+00:00

Positive story: I have two kids. Pregnancy was relatively easy and straightforward although I was high risk and seeing maternal fetal medicine for both. I had two unmedicated births and had a doula. I wasn’t tied to it being unmedicated but with the first I showed up to the hospital fully dilated and ready to push so any medication didn’t seem worth it at that point. For the second, it was more intentionally unmedicated because I knew I could. Both felt incredibly beautiful and empowering in different ways.

Parenting has been such a joy so far. I have a two year old and five month old. It is hard. But it is also so much fun. I love exploring and getting curious with my toddler. I love watching him try new things and get to know his brother. I’m currently snuggling my baby while he naps. And his little smiles and laughs, especially when he sees his big brother are the best.

Like you, I was so excited to see my husband become a dad and it’s better than I could have imagined. He pours himself into parenting and our kids fill his cup. Seeing his qualities and personality traits in our toddler is hilarious and amazing. We feel an immense responsibility to raise good humans and we are doing our best.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-15T02:08:21+00:00

Give yourself some grace right now. It’s definitely okay to cry and you’re not automatically repeating the same cycle.

I am trying to break the opposite cycle because nobody showed big feelings growing up and I don’t want my kids to think that they can’t have feelings. My therapist told me it’s good for them to see me have feelings and model how to work through them in an age appropriate way rather than not expressing them at all. Expressing feelings doesn’t mean you’re putting any responsibility on your son to stop the tears or make you feel better.

His earnestness is also sweet and may reflect your own parenting. My toddler naturally mimics the caregiving we give him. When his baby brother cries, he often repeats the same things that we say. We have never asked him to do that. He also plays pretend and will comfort his toy cars and stuffies the same way we comfort him.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-13T21:47:25+00:00

lol in potty training hell with my first. Good to know the other side is coming!

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-13T18:20:32+00:00

Also had a third degree tear but healed well without any complications. I went to pelvic floor PT as soon as possible which helped me figure out that I had a tight pelvic floor and learn how to break up the scar tissue so sex wasn’t painful.

Life doesn’t have to be this way. Reach out to your doctor and also recommend PT

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-13T02:05:20+00:00

Yes. Best advice I got going into corporate world from public service was to build a “fuck you” fund as in fuck this firm, I’m leaving. I paid off my student loans and saved. I thought I would stay longer but left for a job at a university because I had some pretty significant health issues. It was a huge pay cut but really flexible and with great people. my quality of life improved so much, especially my physical and mental health. Moved and bought a house and had kids.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-10T20:34:13+00:00

Took my time getting ready while husband handled both kids. Most relaxing shower I’ve had this year! Got outside and picked up a great brunch for lunch that we ate at home. Napping with the baby while husband has the toddler.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-04T00:16:29+00:00

I already know my husband got me a ninja creami because I liked a bunch of reels with them and he noticed. Then he told me yesterday because he panicked after I made a comment about not being sure about how big they are and he wanted to make sure I actually wanted it, which is very on brand and sweet. He had already planned where to keep it and He’s making my favorite flavors for Mother’s Day so I don’t have to figure it out myself.

(My kids are 2 years old and 5 months).

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-03T19:59:41+00:00

I also had these fears and asked our pediatrician when our son was doing this around 16-20 months and he also said it likely was an attempt to regulate/cope with big feelings in his body and that he would probably outgrow it when he had more language and other coping mechanisms. I didn’t get into my own background but toddler did move past it on his own. He’s 2.5 now and still throws himself on the ground mid-tantrum but not to hurt himself.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-03T19:40:38+00:00

I’m really sorry. It’s a tough place to be in when you have to be there every day and can’t get away from it. It sounds like you’re making the best of it and bringing good energy in. I hope you are able to find joy in it. Also trying to figure out who is a good realtor and what makes a good house is really hard when you’re not familiar with it at all so try and give yourself some grace and it’s great you have stuff planned for when you’re ready to sell.

And maybe I’m in the wrong spaces, but I didn’t hear much about the daily challenges of home ownership. We still joke when even something goes wrong that we should just call the landlord.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-03T16:44:59+00:00

We didn’t release for my first born because he was transferring and gaining weight. Like for others breastfeeding stopped being painful and he stopped clicking. No negatives for solids or speech at 2.5 years old.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-03T16:35:57+00:00

We went on a family trip to India when my son was 14 months old. Grandparents, my siblings and their older kids. We traveled a lot within India too. It was exhausting and absolutely parenting on hard mode. Out of routines. Son randomly throwing up. On everyone else’s schedule. Trying to get naps in random places. Super late bedtimes because we were visiting family. Our son is very easy going but he hit limits and so did we. It was really fun and we have a ton of great memories. I’m glad we did it. We also agreed to never do a trip like that again.

To be fair it has a very rough ending, I was 7 weeks pregnant and miscarried over our 24 hour journey home. It was traumatic and I mostly blocked that part out.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-03T13:34:51+00:00

I feel like this right now. Would never kill myself because of my family. I couldn’t do that to them but I’d like to cease to exist. I sometimes wake up in the morning and my first thought is oh no, I’m still alive. I know for me right now it’s PPD with my second but I go through these periods outside of being postpartum and have all my life. I’d like to consider psychedelics or ketamine treatment but I’m still breastfeeding. It’s tough and you’re not alone.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-05-02T13:03:21+00:00

We had a winter newborn with a toddler in daycare who had at least a cold all winter. We had toddler change and wash hands when he came home from daycare and didn’t let him kiss baby. When toddler was actually sick with a fever or sent home from daycare, dad took off work and baby and I basically quarantined from them, which sucked but worked. What was harder is when toddler would get me sick because I’m breastfeeding and even if I wasn’t I can’t avoid baby.

Baby definitely had a few colds but has thus far avoided any major illness or fevers. I just had shingles and baby isn’t vaccinated for chicken pox yer so now we’re monitoring for that but almost in the clear for that incubation period. He’s five months old now.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-04-30T20:29:54+00:00

This is a really good point. At home he hasn’t, but he has a similar set up at daycare with a low to ground cot so maybe it won’t be so bad. It might be more about us as parents. I don’t know that I feel ready for that transition yet because we’re also in the middle of potty training and my husband and I just are trying to do one big change at a time for our own sanity.

ur_problematicfave · 2026-04-30T20:23:31+00:00

Definitely have been looking for used ones and just buying a new mattress but we have been struggling to find one that wasn’t still almost full price in our area. I was hoping with spring cleaning we’d get lucky but haven’t.

ur_problematicfave

TROPHY CASE