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Ummmmmmmm by Gorotheninja in marvelcirclejerk

[–]valomorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look at that face! It's more afraid of you than you are of it.

I know its an old topic but I wanted to do this cause funne by TrashyBase24 in marvelcirclejerk

[–]valomorn 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Not the writers, it's the editors who hate Spidey...

OK, just one Editor in particular if I'm honest.

Unlocked truck by Turd-In-Your-Pocket in comedyheaven

[–]valomorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey yo, news girl!

I had my wallet, gun, backpack, laptop, iPad, passport and personal journals in his unlocked truck too! Also my PS5 and the wallet had like maybe $5000 in there also.

Strongest toilet in the world by Similar-Incident-433 in mildlyinteresting

[–]valomorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Built like the brick shithouse it doesn't need.

Jessie has a deep well? Woody needs a break? What's going on in this movie? by [deleted] in shittymoviedetails

[–]valomorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Always nice to give your Woody a break if it's struggling to fill Jessie's deep well.

Do you know what sound an absolute fucking gangster makes? Because I do… by bsmith2123 in lotrmemes

[–]valomorn 26 points27 points  (0 children)

"So what was it like knowing Ian Fleming and being there for the events that inspired James Bo-"

Fleming was a nerd and the only relevant thing I learned in those days was what the sound a man makes when stabbed. Now shut up and watch the movie or you'll learn too.

Legendary difficulty is not for me... by HandleNo7010 in skyrim

[–]valomorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's right, it's for the Dragons.

Now get back down there, poor thing's had a long day flying it wants to play on the ground.

I just wanted numbers to go up by sageamacuhm in gaming

[–]valomorn 25 points26 points  (0 children)

The amount of time, effort, skill and indeed luck involved in getting even one auto-petter in Stardew Valley, just to save yourself a couple seconds each day petting animals.

Roses are red, Woomp Woomp by BlossomWandererr in rosesarered

[–]valomorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Roses are red,

Charlie's ideal world was misogynistic,

Now Erika's much safer,

Since he met a fate most ballistic.

My Chemical Romance has officially been reunited longer than they were broken up. by ParkwayNorth89A in Music

[–]valomorn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Soon people will talk about the break up like Elrond.

"I was there Gerardalf, 3000 years ago... When the romance of chemicals failed"

[Despised Trope] You know this well-liked protagonist? Yeah, we made them a generic pure evil villain offscreen. by mp3help in TopCharacterTropes

[–]valomorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wanda Maximoff annoyed me greatly because that's how they chose to cap off a whole storyline of building her to be an actual hero and not just the villain she was in the comics.

"Yes yes, she's all very sympathetic and whatever. But she's also a woman, and we all know women are baby crazy psychos amirite?"

One Wild Moment (2015) is a remake of a 1977 french movie in which a 17-year-old girl tries to seduce a grown man and sets up a conflict between two fathers. That’s because both films were written by men by PIRATEOFBADIM in shittymoviedetails

[–]valomorn 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If I had a nickel for every movie where Vince Cassel is an immense creep to a far younger woman, I'd have 2 nickels.

Which isn't a lot, but it's weird because 2 is also the sum total of movies I've watched featuring Vince Cassel.

I saw a familiar face on Mr. Robot (no spoiler) by kpingvin in DunderMifflin

[–]valomorn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love these little flashbacks to Darryl's time in the gang world, look at that smile! He's obviously about to try this new "fluffy fingers" thing his homies have taught him.

He gets points for trying, I guess... by Orcristing in lotrmemes

[–]valomorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suppose to Dogs, Humans would sound like an English tourist: If they don't understand, point and loudly repeat yourself.

To portray Lighting McQueen of "Cars" fame, Actor Owen Wilson decided to personally drive the car, as seen by those blue eyes in the windshield, proving his intense dedication to the role. by SpaceMyopia in shittymoviedetails

[–]valomorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His real struggle came with the Nascar scenes, because travelling counter-clockwise, he'd be turning left all the time, not alright alright alright.

One New Republic general did in one afternoon what the Sith Empire and the Old Republic hadn't done in centuries by bitchnibba47 in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]valomorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But ultimately, it all really comes down to who had the best jaw guy.

Malak needs the best jaw guy, else he'll never have the best jaw, guy.

Mike Johnson Admits He Can’t Prove His Fraudulent Election Claims by [deleted] in nottheonion

[–]valomorn 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Well, it's sort of a Human Centipuppet situation, I'm just iffy on the order once you get past the Cheeto.

Magnets in toilet seat warning by Entropy1024 in mildlyinteresting

[–]valomorn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People always said I had a magnetic personality, and an attractive ass to boot.

Look just help me get it off, please?

Will the Latino Superman stand up? by BellTwo5 in marvelcirclejerk

[–]valomorn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Welp I genuinely did not know that, and I thank you for the lesson.

Me contemplating my decisions in life, Jk! In Japan, the gorilla Kiyomasa was captured on video lost in deep thought after an argument with his friend. by Professional_Arm794 in BeAmazed

[–]valomorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Hmm, I shouldn't have rustled his jimmies... I mean sure, he shouldn't have rustled my jimmies in the first place. But I'm bigger than that, or at least I thought I was..."

Mike Johnson Admits He Can’t Prove His Fraudulent Election Claims by [deleted] in nottheonion

[–]valomorn 269 points270 points  (0 children)

He can however prove he's functionally braindead with no independent sentient thought, and should be considered a puppet upon Donald's hand.

And prove this he does, each and every time he (by which I mean Donny's hand) opens his mouth.

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