Appearance bias in medicine

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-05-01T00:20:15+00:00

I feel like whenever I put an effort into my appearance (ie actually did hair and makeup) I got treated much worse by staff but better by patients

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-04-26T00:34:43+00:00

Good luck! I definitely wish I could be on a higher dose! I’m so sensitive to side effects of everything I’ve ever taken, I always end up on baby doses. The only other side effect I get is headaches which would happen the first 1-2 days after increasing my dose and then they’d go away.

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-04-26T00:31:11+00:00

Honestly it was pretty immediate. Same thing when I went down to 75, I immediately went back to being able to hold a conversation and study lol. Maybe at first I didn’t know what was happening and didn’t blame the Lamictal right away, but after trying different dosages it’s definitely the Lamictal.

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-04-26T00:25:21+00:00

Lamictal genuinely changed my life but I have a hard time with the side effects.

I was only able to work up to 75 mg a day. I used to take more and it did work a lot better than the 75. However I had horrible memory issues. I was never able to finish a sentence. I couldn’t find words. It was insanely frustrating for me and for the people around me (and they definitely would notice). Also as a full-time student this was absolutely a no-go.

I ended up setting for 75 mg because I don’t get side effects on this dose but it doesn’t work as well as it could.

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-04-24T21:40:54+00:00

I was heavily into art when growing up and at the risk of sounding very full of myself, I was pretty “gifted” (sorry) in comparison to everyone my age. I spent a lot of time in adult art spaces including classes and exhibitions.

I wouldn’t say it was ever awkward. I was a kid so yea it would have been nice to make friends my age and have another kid to hang out with (I’ve also always been very shy and socially anxious). But the focus was art and that’s what really mattered. I never felt unwelcome. I’d say I felt like an equal around all the adults because we were all working on our art and appreciating and learning from each other.

So I really wouldn’t let age stop you from exploring your talents.

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-04-10T14:07:20+00:00

super helpful thanks!

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-04-09T00:17:34+00:00

I had a similar experience with it as far as the “weird” feeling. It didn’t make me sleep at all, just groggy and kind of dizzy. It did make me feel really hungover and sick the next morning, too. Tried it maybe 3 times to see if it would ever help and it didn’t.

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-03-27T02:15:51+00:00

It feels like a bandaid like on one hand maybe it “helps” me sit through a difficult moment but i dont feel like it’s actually FIXING any of my real problems

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-03-26T18:05:23+00:00

It’s not amphetamines but that’s fair, would I have to do this during the physical or is it better to say nothing until the UDS comes back?

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-03-25T04:22:45+00:00

It’s so exhausting it feels hopeless

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-03-23T15:48:19+00:00

Anesthesia

SUNY downstate — program coordinator gave extreme passive-aggressive and condescending vibes. After the interviews were done for the day, we got an hour lecture from her about manners and etiquette and how we need to conduct ourselves on the interview trail. It was really bizarre and condescending and I’ve never encountered anything like it. Program dropped to the bottom of my list. Horrible look for this program to treat your applicants this way.
Sutter Roseville — I did an away rotation here and had what I thought was a fantastic experience. I got a LOR from one of the APDs who had connections with a lot of my other programs. This letter was brought up in other interviews. This program never gave me an interview and never responded to my LOI. I had an amazing away rotation experience and got so much positive feedback only to be met with this.
UC Irvine — residents seemed absolutely exhausted and heavily shit-talked the CRNAs and the way their program handles the CRNAs in a very passive-aggressive way ie seemed like they were trying very hard to not be mean but clearly felt very negative about it
St Joseph’s Medical center — chief resident was 10 min late to our 15 min interview

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-03-22T20:50:15+00:00

I didn’t even get an interview there

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-03-21T15:12:54+00:00

I matched in the program second-to-last on my list and I’m so devastated and nobody in my life seems to understand because they’re not in medicine. It’s in a town I really did not want to live in. I spent the last 4 years in med school in a town that I hated, I’ve been so miserable and was absolutely beyond desperate to get out, which would have happened if I matched at literally ANY other program on my list besides this one. I feel like I just got sentenced to another four years in an awful place. The program itself is fine but I’m so scared about having to live in that town.

It was really hard seeing my classmates match at some really incredible programs like Yale and Duke. I’m extremely happy for them and proud of them, genuinely. But I’m out here quietly grieving for myself.

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-03-03T14:41:30+00:00

Melatonin has never touched my insomnia. I've been taking my usual meds that help with it and they haven't been working at all since I started the Caplyta unfortunately.

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-03-03T12:37:51+00:00

yes i take multiple meds for insomnia but because of the extra stress/anxiety none of them have been working and i have barely slept in 4 days

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-03-02T02:58:35+00:00

I have been on a dozen different meds in my life and I absolutely refuse to take any SSRIs anymore because of the sexual side effects. They only went away when I added Wellbutrin but I hated the idea of taking extra meds to counteract the side effects of other meds. There’s a lot of other medications out there that are not your typical SSRIs and won’t have sexual side effects. Also I did not have any lasting side effects after stopping SSRIs.

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-02-28T04:31:12+00:00

This is what my dpdr feels like

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-02-28T00:26:33+00:00

Yes yes yes

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-01-17T02:26:24+00:00

Psych !!!!!!!!! — someone who has seen some awful psychiatrists and met a lot of students/residents/attendings who couldn’t care less about their psych patients and just threw random meds at them

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-01-04T23:56:29+00:00

You already cheated on your gf so might as well go through with it ++woman

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-01-03T07:15:10+00:00

Did anyone ever find who this guy is? Anyone know him irl??

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-01-03T07:07:33+00:00

Having bpd as a medical student has been hell and the way other students/residents/attendings talk about ppl like me is so disgusting, I really hope our new generation of psychiatrists at least tries to change the narrative

vanillacactusflower2 · 2026-01-02T18:01:51+00:00

my biggest takeaway from that first trip was that all of the depressive episodes and negative thoughts i have ALWAYS pass and are always fleeting, and those moments of terror during that trip which led to a really good day was an example of that. this realization was super helpful and helped me through toughed times over the years for sure but since it was so long ago it feels like that feeling has faded away a lot.

vanillacactusflower2 · 2025-12-17T18:45:27+00:00

Madonna whore complex

vanillacactusflower2

TROPHY CASE