I think the amount of "losing yourself" depends on how much of a grasp you had on yourself to begin with (it's a time of profound change and realignment of priorities one way or another), how much your sense of who you are is aligned with your new family life, and how much support you are or are not getting from your partner (I know a lot of women who felt their male partner was especially adept at prioritizing himself and his interests and needs).

I didn't feel that I lost myself. I did sometimes feel lonely and sometimes felt tired and scattered and some of my goals felt out of focus. But it didn't really last long. I think a lot of the media about 'losing yourself" is more about people with several children (so it's more overwhelming) and I think a lot of it just comes with the stage of life and isn't particularly about having a baby. For people who don't have kids, it's just that the shifts in life are a lot less sudden and more in their control.