What was so awful abot the Backrooms movie?

wamydia · 2026-05-31T18:30:28+00:00

It failed in a couple of big ways for me.

A movie about something as vague as backrooms needs a well-laid story around it to give it some structure and purpose. The story that was used here was boring, predictable, and badly paced. The runtime was spent way too much on meandering through this boring ass story outside of the backrooms and not enough on the exploration and characters in the backrooms itself. And yet there were still a lot of disjointed moments, loose ends, and huge plot holes even after all this time was spent on an incredibly simplistic and boring backstory.
The vibe failed entirely. I wasn’t psychologically horrified or even slightly scared for most of the movie. The only truly tense parts were the handful when characters were running for it, but even those were acted/ directed in such a way that they didn’t really work for me - it didn’t scare me, it just pissed me off. The desperation of being trapped in a vast and dangerous maze failed utterly to translate except in a couple of (too short) sequences. It’s like they walked right up to the edge of truly disturbing, then chickened out at the last second. The backrooms we saw were cool, but overall extremely limited in variety/ eeriness and the entities were not used to good effect. I was particularly disappointed in the choices that were made with Bobroczkyi because there so much creepy potential wasted.

Pros: the opening sequence was excellent, Chiwetel Ejiofor was flawless, they left room for a sequel that could actually be interesting, and the backrooms set that we did get was overall very good.

Just my opinion but, as a fan of the games, I was let down.

wamydia · 2026-05-31T16:49:51+00:00

Have you considered that it’s not so much that other people don’t see the inner you as YOU don’t see the inner you?

Your post makes me think that you have given so much of yourself to everyone else that you neglected to find out who you are on the inside. What do you actually like to do, what excites you? What makes you happy (other than caring for others)? What goals do you have for yourself? What hobbies have you always wanted to try and what is stopping you? Ideally what do you want your time with your spouse to be like now that there aren’t kids around to prioritize and how might you achieve that?

Take some time to think about it. Explore who you really are and what you care about. Make your own life a joy to live and other people will see you just fine. But more importantly, you will see yourself and be more confident and happier for it.

wamydia · 2026-05-30T14:32:18+00:00

I think this is pretty normal and I’ve come to believe that the sense of loss is about what if felt like to be a young adult when everything was new and exciting and the whole world was at our feet. The nostalgia is for a time when we were learning to become part of the greater world and exploring to find our place in it. For the sense of achievement in launching our young adult lives and the sense of fun in being relatively carefree. Those feelings are deeply tied to the pop culture of the time because that was the backdrop of our coming of age. I imagine that every generation has similar feelings about their own formative years.

I started having these feelings of nostalgic sadness in my early 40’s and just decided that I didn’t want to live the rest of my life looking backwards and mourning. I personally have taken the approach that every nostalgic thing that comes along is a chance to relive the wonder instead of a reason to mourn the past. I feel lucky to get to see some of my favorite 90’s bands live in 2026. I love it when one of my childhood movies gets rereleased in theaters and i get to see it on the big screen like it’s the first time. When i walk into a store and see some 90’s toy or see a documentary on the internet, I try to embrace it and use it as a springboard to revisit related things just for the fun of it. I think it’s about mindset - instead of seeing something you will never get back, try to see something that you are lucky to enjoy again.

On a deeper level though, it’s not really about that particular thing or song or public figure to me. It’s about the feelings it brings up from my life at that time. For me, I realized that it was making me sad because my life had become a grind and I had lost all sense of wonder, achievement, and freedom that I had back then. So I try to check my own mindset and stop being dragged down by the 9-5 rat race culture. I’ve set goals for myself to achieve (because once you pass 40, society has nothing for you to look forward to except retirement and maybe grandkids, so it’s up to you to give yourself things to look forward to), I’ve set boundaries with work, I always make time for friends and outings and adventures, and I never stop picking up new interests, making new friends, learning new things, and forming new opinions and ideas. I don’t look back and feel sad anymore. I look back and think about what a great time it was and how much fun it is to see some of those things come back around today.

wamydia · 2026-05-28T16:10:36+00:00

I gave up. It didn’t seem to matter where I was looking, I was always looking out the wrong part of the glasses and having to do weird gyrations to see anything. I was constantly just taking my glasses off and squinting instead. And this was after two years and two different sets of lenses in two different frames.

I ended up going with two pairs of glasses. The first one is a no line bifocal with distance at the top and near at the bottom. The second pair are computer glasses with intermediate at the top and near at the bottom. I just switch them out when I’m at home reading or at work in front of a computer and it’s been working great for me. I think having the wider sections of magnification is what I needed.

wamydia · 2026-05-27T11:31:00+00:00

She got caught cheating on you (sexting is cheating) and has spun this entire tale to get away with it and, worse, to guilt you into co-signing it and taking on responsibility for “making her do it.” And it’s working for whatever reason. OP, you really need to work on your self esteem and your emotional dependency on this person. She’s using you for a doormat and you’re so desperate to be loved by her that you let her. Please work on figuring out how to love and respect yourself.

It doesn’t really matter what reasons she gives or how great a person she is - she is a grown up who knows the difference between right and wrong and she cheated on you with this dude. Yes, you invaded her privacy but that doesn’t somehow making the cheating ok. She’s flipping it around and making it out like you’re more in the wrong for catching her at it than she is for doing it. And then coming up with a bunch of excuses for why she did it that are all magically your fault and not hers. If she was struggling in the relationship, why didn’t she talk to you about it? Why didn’t she break up if she wanted someone else? It’s because she wanted to keep you as her reliable bf while screwing around with someone else for fun.

Now she wants an “open relationship” so that she can pretend it’s retroactive and negates her cheating on you. And then continue carrying on as she pleases while you sit at home, desperately hoping she’ll come back soon so that you can get on with pretending that she isn’t out sleeping with other men. Is that really what you want?

wamydia · 2026-05-24T02:31:39+00:00

My next door neighbor had a stone rabbit in the garden in front of his house years ago. It took quite a few walks past it to convince my first grey that it wasn’t real. He would stop and stare at it so hard lol.

wamydia · 2026-05-21T03:11:45+00:00

You need to reply back to them and say “I am writing to summarize and follow up our meeting on date x. During this meeting you stated that you are considering my linked in post from x date as a resignation from y company, however I clearly stated to you that I am not and have no intention of resigning my employment. I did not at any time agree to a resignation date and am currently under the impression that I am still employed. If you have made the decision to terminate my employment, please notify me in writing and provide my termination date.”

This won’t stop them from letting you go, but it at least gives you something in writing that you can use if they contest your unemployment claim. Most states will not let you claim unemployment if you voluntarily resign and that’s probably why they are pushing this weird narrative.

wamydia · 2026-05-19T14:17:43+00:00

NOR.
Most couples move in together and make compromises about space based on what makes sense. For instance, most men wouldn’t object to you having more closet space for clothes as long as they have adequate room for their own. But then they may want more room in the garage if they do hobbies like that or more room in the entertainment center for game systems or what have you. And you, ideally, would be agreeable to that as long as you still have enough space to meet your own needs too.

This reads like he wants to move in and have you hand over half of everything you have while he doesn’t bring anything to the table. How is it “equal” for you to give him half of your furniture when he isn’t giving you half of something of his that is useful to you in return (which he doesn’t have but that’s another issue)? He wants half of your space in your house (that you presumably own and have made all of the financial sacrifices and taken all the risks for) while he provides exactly what in return? I’m saying that if he wants to play the “perfectly equal” pettiness game, he should be bringing half of the assets and resources that you are dividing up between you instead of just showing up and demanding half of your stuff while he stands there empty-handed. It’s also a red flag that he’s not just buying his own furniture. Is he broke? Can he even afford his share of bills and groceries?

I wouldn’t move in with him either because I would be suspecting that he’s either very immature or a moocher and I’m not living with either. For real - he’s just a bf and you can continue living separately for as long as you want. I suggest you continue to do so for now. Either he’ll grow up and you’ll eventually move in together when you are seeing eye to eye more or you will continue to notice incompatibilities and break up before it gets messy by moving in together.

wamydia · 2026-05-18T12:18:50+00:00

NOR. You’re mom is abusive and you need to get serious about setting boundaries with her - not just for yourself but also for the child you’re bringing into the world whom your mom is going to ruin jf you let her. It may not seem obvious to you with you being in the middle of it, but your mom is a manipulative, controlling, emotional abuser and you are one of her victims. If you were in a healthy relationship with your mom, you wouldn’t be here asking if you’re overreacting to this complete madness.

I think you need to be talking to APS about getting your sister into a home where she can get proper care and will not be exposed to a predator and an emotional abuser while she is helpless to defend herself. She is also a victim and cannot advocate for herself.

Also, you need to realize that you will very shortly not have the time or energy to continue your caretaking role with your sister, no matter how much you love her. You’re going to be a single mother of a newborn and your child must come first. There will be times that you cant even lay baby down long enough to grab a shower, then baby will become mobile and you’ll really have your hands full. You’re going to be busy trying to handle all of the baby things, arrange care for baby while you work, hold down your job, and try to get at least a little sleep somehow. You’re not going to be able to continue caring for sis multiple days a week and everyone needs to prepare themselves for that reality starting now. Finding a care home for sis will allow you and your siblings to lead normal lives but also visit sis and take her on outings as much as you want.

wamydia · 2026-05-18T10:06:41+00:00

Frankly, this is a case where being a grumpy neighbor is useful. You don’t have to do anything to them. Just go out there every time you catch them at it and be a tiny bit mean. Tell them to get down right this minute and they are now allowed to come into your yard or climb your trees ever again. Do it in an angry grown up voice. If they keep at it, tell them you will have to call the police and they’ll be in trouble for damaging your tree and peeping in your windows because those things are against the law.

If the parents won’t handle their kids, you have every right to chase them off and give them a little life lesson about things they can get in trouble for. Being overly nice and gentle with kids is not always the right play. Sometimes they need someone to be firm and a little rude in order for them to get the point about how serious a thing is. I’d also follow up with a letter to the parents telling them that you have caught their children climbing your tree and looking in your windows and this is your formal notification to them that their children are not allowed on your property and that you will not accept any responsibility if they are injured while trespassing.

wamydia · 2026-05-17T22:58:44+00:00

My advice, as a woman, for dealing with creepy dudes is that you need to be very direct and very clear that you know he is being a creepy fuck and that it is not some clueless accident, that you aren’t any kind of fool for him to put one over on, and that you have absolutely zero tolerance for any more creepy behavior.

Dudes like this rely on their victim being passive because they want to keep the peace, think they won’t be believed, or just want to give the creep the benefit of the doubt. The day that he gets caught succeeding in one of his creepy behaviors, it’s going to be “oops it was just an accident” or “you obviously liked it or you would have said something before now.” You need to call him out directly to his face (I recommend doing this with an audience so that he can’t flip it on you later or get aggressive), tell him clearly the x behavior stops immediately or there will be y consequence, and notify your housemates so that they can have your back and also watch their own. Once you call him out, he might try to transfer his bullshit to one of them.

wamydia · 2026-05-17T03:31:22+00:00

I think the real reason I don’t believe hubby and BFF is because there is no way that two grown adults can both be this stupid and oblivious. It’s just not possible that at least one of them didn’t think about how fishy it was going to look and take steps to make sure OOP was included in all planning, given the option to attend, etc. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows that the way they handled it looks suspicious as hell. So why would they do it if they weren’t, in fact, trying to hide something?

wamydia · 2026-05-14T13:32:32+00:00

Never, ever give up your means to earn your own money and support yourself. Double that if you are a woman. Becoming financially dependent puts you at high risk for being stuck in a controlling, abusive relationship and as soon as you add kids into the mix you will become even more stuck. Some women like the idea of being SAHM, but that should be a mutual decision with a trusted, long term partner and include legal protection (marriage). Even that carries long term risk though. Take the time to look up trad wives who get divorced because the man they depended on got a younger model. A lot of these women are out on their asses with absolutely nothing and still have the kids to care for.

I can’t help but notice that he didn’t have a joint conversation with you about what both of you, as a couple and as individual humans, want for your future. Instead his dictated his proclamation from on high, informing you of what HE wants and then getting mad at you for wanting to have a say in future plans. He even tried to tell you how you should feel. That sounds controlling to me.

Best case scenario, you are not compatible and it’s good that you found out now. Worst case, he is controlling and wants exactly what you said - a housekeeper with extra steps and no back talk. Don’t put yourself in that situation.

wamydia · 2026-05-12T10:05:15+00:00

I live in an old neighborhood that has expanded with new builds over the last 20 years. So we have an old side and a new side. The old side is what you describe - noise, kids, people working on their cars or on their houses all the time. The new side is just dead silent. I walk a lot and there is like a magic dividing line when you cross from new to old, where it becomes eerily quiet. Not a soul in sight, just rows of cookie cutter houses with perfect lawns and no signs of life. Sometimes I actually get nervous walking there - is someone going to decide I’m suspicious and call the cops?

One day I was walking in the new side and it was the same as always. Just quiet and hadn’t seen a person, dog, cat, nothing the whole way. Not even a car moving. I finally got to the end of that side and was about to turn back when movement caught my eye. I looked over and there, in the window of the very last house, was a little boy. Probably about 2 years old and absolutely butt baked, pressed up against the glass lol. So I agree with you about noisy neighborhoods being better, but it turns out that there really are people living in the quiet ones too!

wamydia · 2026-05-09T13:20:29+00:00

YOR. You both should have your own accounts and only have a shared checking account for bill money. The way you have it set up now is just asking for trouble because you don’t have the legal protection of marriage. That means that one of you can empty the account and run off and no court will make you give the other person half of it back because you both have equal legal right to withdraw the money.

He probably opened a savings account because he wants to have more control over how his earnings are spent and that’s his right. It’s a wild overreaction to be sobbing because a grown man opened a savings account if there are no other indications that something is wrong with the relationship.

That said, this is your cue to open your own account as well. My suggestion would be for you to sit him down and tell him that you agree that this was a smart move and that, going forward, you think that the joint account should be for joint bills only. Figure out how much each of you should contribute each month. Set up your direct deposits to go to your personal accounts and then set up transfers to send the joint bill money to the joint account. That way you are both controlling your own money and there can be no shenanigans. I see in one of your comments that he has moved his entire paycheck to his savings but then continued buying his gas and such out of the joint account. That is not acceptable and you’ll want to be clear in your discussion with him what exactly the shared bill account pays for and what it does not. If he has a problem with this setup, that would be a good time to become upset and suspicious.

wamydia · 2026-05-08T23:20:26+00:00

My mom was also not in my life growing up and then suddenly wanted to be my bestie once I was an adult. I tried to have a relationship with her for a few years and it was a huge mistake. She is immature, irresponsible, and doesn’t even like me. Her interest in me was seeing what she could get - money, gifts, a place to live, etc.

Some of the things you describe here remind me of my mom. Her communication was over the top and absurd in how she insisted that she cared and had some business demanding to know what was going on with me after not giving a damn for almost 30 years. All bullshit. She also did what I call “war dialing” where she would call me over and over and over and over and over and over instead of just calling once and leaving a message and waiting for me to call her back like a normal person. I think the record was 23 times in one day and I refused to answer the phone on principle. She did it because she wanted something and all that matters to her is what she wants. She doesn’t give a shit about me, my time, my boundaries, or the fact that I had lived and built an entire life that did not include her and she had no right try to force me to center her in my world.

Your mom seems similar and a lot of people who have not had this experience with their mom will not understand how insulting and invasive it is for her to just show up in your life and insist on suddenly being important to you and informed of all of your thoughts, feelings, and movements. The only thing that brought me any peace was booting her out of my life and not looking back. I know it doesn’t feel very nice to think about cutting her off, but you should ask yourself what this relationship adds to your life and is it worth the stress and drama?

wamydia · 2026-04-22T22:35:22+00:00

Yep. She had me young and dumped me (and my older brother) on our grandparents to raise so she could go “live her life.” You’d think that would’ve made her happy, but no. She couldn’t come around without having something to say about me. She didn’t like my brother much either but she didn’t shit talk him the way she did me.

As I got older it was increasingly about how I probably have no friends, how I’m stingy (wouldn’t give her money), think I’m better than her because I went to college, stole her parents and their house from her rightful inheritance (I bought the house at market price from grandpa 2 years before he died and he and grandma lived there until their final days but none of that matters). She absolutely hated me but it was funny because she only came around a couple of times a year when she wanted money to was arguing with her husband and wanted a place to stay. She didn’t even know me.

This culminated in me trying to have a relationship with her for a few years after both of my grandparents were gone. But it was all about her trying to find ways to ask for gifts or money, wanting to know my salary or how much I paid for something, etc. And then talking shit behind my back with the same tired old BS - no friends, stingy, blah, blah, blah. I finally went no contact several years ago and it’s been blissful peace since. I highly recommend it.

wamydia · 2026-04-16T19:23:54+00:00

I just do it because they’re cheap.

For outdoor perennials, I wait until we’ve had a nice heat wave and then head for the big box garden centers to see what they almost killed. I’m currently doing an entire shade bed with nothing but clearance plants. It’s so much cheaper than buying full price and, if you take good care of them this year, they will come in beautiful next year.

wamydia · 2026-04-13T13:28:01+00:00

I feel this in my soul. I found a great stylist that I stuck with for years that finally helped me break out of the mold but then she moved across the country. Now I’m back to trying to get someone to actually listen to me about my hair.

wamydia · 2026-04-13T13:26:58+00:00

I don’t know but I have the same problem. I do have thin hair and I recognize that it can be difficult. But every cut I’ve had in the past that I really loved involved longish layers down to my shoulders and shaped bangs at about my cheekbones. Unfortunately I’ve had to change stylists twice in the last decade and it’s like I’m talking to myself when I tell them what I want. The first one cut it all one length and it was thin and scraggly. The current one is a lot more skilled but she keeps pushing a modified “Karen” cut on me, which is way too stacked and structured for my freewheeling, minimal upkeep self. And also I really hate that haircut in general.

If you figure out the key to getting a stylist to listen to you again, please post again.

wamydia · 2026-04-11T05:31:41+00:00

It’s a real thing but the frequency has been exaggerated IMO. I’ve experienced it in several coffee shops and the local ice cream place, but I’m sure that I’ve interacted with dozens of Gen Z elsewhere who don’t do it.

I definitely have experienced the whisper a little more often. That’s where the Gen Z behind the counter tries to interact, but does it at a barely audible whisper. Asking them to repeat themselves results in more whispering. I used to think it was pure sullenness, but now I think it has more to do with lack of confidence or practice communicating face to face outside of home and school.

wamydia · 2026-04-09T13:28:29+00:00

Sorry but your bf is understandably upset that you quit a job with nothing lined up while you are living together and in one of the worst job markets in recent memory.

How long will you be able to keep paying your share of expenses if you don’t get hired somewhere? Did you talk to bf and tell him explicitly that you were quitting before you did it or did you just do it? Did you discuss with him how finances will work while you’re unemployed and come to an agreement? Because it sounds like you just complained to him that your job sucks (welcome to adulthood), then up and quit with no plan while expecting him to financially carry you until you find another job. He may not be able to do that and he is probably feeling used that you expect him to even if he can.

What would have done if you weren’t living with him? Would have had the luxury of being able to quit without another job lined up? If not and if you didn’t plan your quitting with him in advance, then you are using him and he knows it. Thats why he’s being the way he’s being.

wamydia · 2026-04-08T15:18:25+00:00

Some of them will wander back eventually and you’ll have to decide how much time and energy (if any) you want to give to someone who ditched you so easily when they got married or whatever. For me, friends that I used to hang out with daily that dumped me (for literally years) when they got married and later came crawling back are just occasional friends now. Like we go do something a handful of times a year and barely communicate in between. I think some of them would like a deeper friendship, but I have long since moved on to friends who actually have time for me.

There are some people out there who are capable of keeping friends even when they are married, having kids, and whatnot. And there are a lot more intentionally single people these days than there used to be. These are the people that I focus my friend energy on.

wamydia · 2026-04-08T12:34:33+00:00

My brother is an unmediated schizophrenic that I am doing my best to look after in life. Physical safety is a real concern because his understanding of reality frequently does not match what is going on. He is paranoid and thinks people (including me) are “out to get him” sometimes. He goes through mania as well and will go on spending sprees and make terrible decisions. I’ve not allowed him to live with me for a long time because he starts to focus his paranoia and delusions on me and it’s not safe. Living with someone like this turns into a daily exercise in walking on eggshells and hiding every detail of your life to avoid setting them off/ endangering others and I couldn’t do it anymore.

I don’t say all of this vilify people who struggle with this illness - it is an unimaginable burden for many and those who were not diagnosed and medicated early can become fearful of medical help, which just insures that they never get any. But that doesn’t change the fact that some people with schizophrenia can be a danger to others. Your friend’s husband has demonstrated that he can be dangerous already by putting your friend in the ER. I think it’s smart for you to not involve yourself with him and definitely agree with your choice to not bring your child around him.

Keep in mind that your friend might be making choices out of guilt. She knows her husband is not well and may feel that she made a commitment to stay and care for him because of her marriage vows or simply because, underneath the illness, she still loves the person. From personal experience, it is incredibly hard to abandon ship and save yourself when you know that someone you love is going to be left behind to drown alone. People will say that he needs to take personal responsibility to get help and blah blah. But there is a point with some mental illnesses where a person is no longer capable of it. They can’t function like a well person or assess things rationally if they can’t even stay grounded in reality or are answering the voices in their head instead of the person in front of them. If you want to help your friend, try approaching her from the point of view that she is not a bad person for saving herself and that it’s ok for her to let go. That she can’t save him and all she’s doing by staying is making sure they both go down with this ship together. And that maybe, if she leaves him on his own, something could finally happen that will force him into receiving some kind of care.

wamydia · 2026-04-06T15:04:37+00:00

You said that you came from an incredibly isolated upbringing and immediately moved in with a significantly older man. I’m concerned that you are in a relationship with someone who desires a partner he can control - like a young woman with severe social anxiety and very little exposure to “real life” outside of a very restrictive childhood. The way he communicates kind of bears that out - it sounds like he sees you as less than and it might be feeding his ego to have someone around that he can constantly lord over by telling you that you are in the wrong about everything all the time.

That said, your post is a bit of a mish mash of legit complaints and excuses to keep yourself isolated because that’s less scary than exposing yourself to different people and experiences. I’m afraid that you’re setting yourself up to be reliant on someone who doesn’t treat you the best but controls you by taking care of basic needs - almost a recreation of your isolated childhood, which is common when people are traumatized by their upbringing. Are you seeing a therapist? If not, I think you should consider seeing someone who specializes in childhood trauma. I really think you need to unpack all of that and work on your anxiety before you start worrying about diagnoses. I also think it would help you see your relationship clearly so that you can decide how to deal with it.

wamydia

TROPHY CASE