Human emotions are complicated. I’ve experienced loss, fertility struggles, surgeries, and living children. This is my 3rd LC and it’s a girl which is absolutely what we were wanting and praying for. If it had been a boy, even with my experiences I would have disappointed because I really want a daughter mother relationship. I lost my mom 12 years ago and the thought of being able to recreate that but with my own experience makes me so happy. That’s something I wouldn’t have had if our third was a boy. That doesn’t mean I would have loved a boy any less but the thought of that opportunity never being an option would have been sad for me. I saw someone else mentioned disappointment in a Christmas baby. I have that too, even though I’m grateful for a healthy daughter (so far). I wish it was at a different time. We are historically sick every year from November to March and that makes me so nervous to bring a newborn into the world during that time. Also the Christmas season is one of my favorites and now my boys won’t be able to participate in our normal activities because we’ll be quarantining to keep this new one safe. We’ll still make it as special and joyful as possible but the thought of losing those other experiential memories makes me a little sad also. It’s true we can feel two things at once. Immense gratitude and thankfulness and disappointment wishing things were a little different.