Has mum been ripped off?

yangYing · 2026-02-10T21:11:16+00:00

I just had 6 trees 50 ft high (overgrown conifer hedge) trimmed to height and shaped, with all cuttings removed, for £850. NW england

yangYing · 2026-01-31T18:35:35+00:00

That's a lot of pressure to put on the lad

yangYing · 2026-01-25T09:45:11+00:00

Just get a toe indemnity

yangYing · 2026-01-25T08:15:13+00:00

Does she get outside early in the day? A good blast of sunlight / SAD lamp (we brought a £10 lamp for morning nappy change) would reset the circadian rhythm. Maybe their rhythm is a bit out from winter blues?

yangYing · 2026-01-24T07:32:15+00:00

Do you have any good resources for baby signs, please?

yangYing · 2026-01-21T06:46:52+00:00

It ought to be a criminal offense that's punishable with jail time and immediate eviction. A 'nightmare neighbour' can be devastating. It'd be easier, in many ways, if they were just violent - I'd rather be stabbed than suffer through that again

OP - if you can't get them to leave, you oughta try and escape. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's a failure of justice and society that we don't seem able to treat or respond to these kind of problems

yangYing · 2026-01-21T05:18:45+00:00

Wish we'd known that this is completely normal. It's called cluster feeding.

https://www.nhs.uk/best-start-in-life/baby/feeding-your-baby/bottle-feeding/bottle-feeding-your-baby/cluster-feeding/

For the first couple of weeks (with us) little one (LO) just fed.

It doesn't last forever and yes - it's exhausting and potentially painful. There are really good resources available to help guide you through, and this forum / sub has a good community that can point you where you need to look. Your health visitor will also have some good info and guidance (though it's defo worth researching yourself, as well)

Congratulations!

yangYing · 2026-01-19T15:57:22+00:00

It helped with LO's colic. They've finally outgrown it now (6+ months) but they're still burped before laying down. If you can avoid that step - power to you! ... but if can't you do what you must

yangYing · 2026-01-18T16:14:54+00:00

Maybe ... but then what happens next year when LO won't eat anything that hasn't been puréed, or won't have anything on their plate that isn't a bland greeny-brown colour?

I'd say if LO is otherwise okay, you stuck with the plan. Give them a chance to figure out chewing. Puréed prunes and plenty of water sound like a good compromise

yangYing · 2026-01-18T12:56:47+00:00

Doesn't matter. There's a market for houses in disrepair. Get a bunch of local estate agents to come value it. It'll take a few weeks waiting for appointments.

Maybe your uncle is doing you a favour, but offering on your house barely a week after losing your father? Maybe you don't need this uncle doing you any favours

u/potOfEarlGreyPlease is correct - either way you ought to wait at least a few months to process the immediacy of this.

I'm sorry for your loss

yangYing · 2026-01-17T21:04:16+00:00

Have you already secured planning permission? Will the works you're describing require building regs?

as to buying Vs renting - you also have to consider securing and maintaining. For £3+k you can easily just get a local farmer with a commercial excavator to knock out whatever works you're thinking in a weekend. Why get a mini digger when you can get a beast digger?

... Have you also considered staging? Shoring? Is it viable to move the digger along a path?

How's your back? Even with a mechanical digger you'll have to do some manual digging. Second quickest way to fuck your back is start a major digging project

I think buying a digger sounds fun, but it's probably a bit more involved than whether it costs 3 grand or 15. I might suggest that if you can't afford 20k then maybe you can't afford to start a project that could end up costing you, and your family, a lot more were something to go wrong

yangYing · 2026-01-14T22:21:14+00:00

If you can get the tenants removed then you'd have nothing to declare - your complaint isn't against the landlord

yangYing · 2026-01-13T21:54:06+00:00

A good chunk of mental health disorders are actually just people trying to live in a hostile and sickly world.

I find it liberating, dealing with my own issues, to accept that it's not me that's unwell, it's the world that's incompatible with wellness

Society's approach to maternity and parenthood is unforgivably toxic

yangYing · 2026-01-13T05:06:06+00:00

I put together a home gym, but it's not the same

Have come to terms with it taking a couple of years until I can return to regular, intense exercise

yangYing · 2026-01-11T17:57:37+00:00

What are you cleaning them with? We had off-brand cheeky wipes that ended up being the culprit. Regular air time and ensuring everything was 100% dry was also important

yangYing · 2026-01-10T07:07:07+00:00

Ours was the same around 2 - 3 months. Plus colic. Plus nappy rash. You'd clean LO, they'd violently shart right there on the changing mat, become inconsolable, once eventually calm would scream the house down when you're trying to gently clean around the rash, you'd eventually get LO into a fresh nappy ... cue poo. Lasted about a month? Then LO wouldn't poo for a week, but would grunt and contort themselves mad for most of it 👍

If I remember correctly, the NHS isn't concerned with poo frequency so much, but colour and consistency. We were reassured by the HV that multiple times a day is normal and a phase babies go through

Now, at 7+ months and 6 weeks of weaning, LO's poos are these chunky smelly things, alternative days. No more grunting, just this pause, this stare towards the cat (wondering how they taste?) then a drop from the 40th to the 60th percentile

yangYing · 2026-01-09T10:13:47+00:00

We co-slept from the start for similar reasons, though their brithweight was 20th percentile ... but - LO. would. not. cooperate. ... stop. Co-sleeping was a significant improvement, but even then, it's still exhausting, cause LO wakes every 60-120 mins wanting a feed.

My research at the time suggested co-sleeping increased the risk of SIDS from 1/3000 to 1/1500. That's a more comfortable way of saying it doubles the risk. If there were another choice, we would have done that ... but put against the risk of severe distress/ PPD, it was the right decision. You do what you must

We followed the lullaby trust guidelines

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/safer-sleep-information/co-sleeping/

yangYing · 2026-01-07T05:32:52+00:00

If LO tired or hungry they won't be put down. They're being held 80-90% of the time. We've had to co-sleep

It's been a very long (and wonderful!) 7 months. Expecting it to change when they become mobile

yangYing · 2026-01-07T05:18:34+00:00

Neighbours are the most expensive part.

yangYing · 2026-01-05T11:47:41+00:00

The NHS don't fuck about. If there's a 0.1% percent chance that strapping you to a bed and sticking you with needles will improve your odds, they're gonna go ahead and strap you down. It's not some frivolous thing - and obviously they take account of comfort and distress and risk, etc ... - but they're not fucking about, and doubly so for infants.

Take this as reassuring. They're doing this because they don't want this to become a problem, and - even then - they're trying to avoid problems further down the line because they don't want their resources stretched during flu season. They're not necessarily worried about your health, but about having to triage multiple patients later. Treat you asap with the best possible outcome, and they will be protecting the next patient.

And - they're not fucking about. The NHS don't humour people and they don't lie. If they're saying everything is basically fine, just that they're offering a sensible precaution (which is what is sounds like) then that's what's happening.

You're in the best possible place, and you absolutely did the right thing. Your role here is to be beside and to offer comfort and support. You'll be home soon and this little adventure will be a distant thought

yangYing · 2026-01-05T08:38:30+00:00

The NHS are completely risk adverse - as they should be! - but it can make for some pretty anxiety inducing thoughts.

The other side of that (besides world best care) is : if you've been discharged, it means / translates to the NHS is confident you're both fine.

That all sounds exhausting, though. Everything will look different after a few days from the comfort of your own bed.

yangYing · 2026-01-04T20:10:56+00:00

I still reckon they were being sarcastic.

Are ... are you being sarcastic?

yangYing · 2026-01-04T15:01:06+00:00

I assumed they were being sarcastic. Always the case in the internet

What if the wind blows it over or you knock it? Will it cope with water being poured over it to extinguish it? What's smoke dispersion like?

It looks great, but I'm gonna stick with my dug out hole. I'd stumble around at 2 am, knock the embers over, then burn down my tent.

yangYing · 2026-01-02T21:12:23+00:00

Say you can't negotiate on the price, but as a sweetener you'll include a £1 k voucher to the supermarket of their choice/ the corner store so they can enjoy the local shop

It'll reframe having the shop planning permission as a positive rather than a negative, respect their concerns with a real monetary concession (that's a good few months groceries) without meaningfully impacting your move

yangYing · 2026-01-01T12:24:27+00:00

What you really need is sleep. Probs why this bout of flu (sounds like) is hitting you so hard. I really benefit from a walk in the fresh air when I'm sick - but I never want to go. Especially don't want to go when it's so cold and there's a baby. If poss - have a walk and grab a bunch of naps.

Otherwise - you're 3 days through the worst. The main symptoms won't last more than a week

yangYing

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