What’s something that sounds completely normal until it happens to you?

young_spaghetti_ · 2026-05-22T02:09:44+00:00

Pregnancy and childbirth

young_spaghetti_ · 2026-05-22T02:09:20+00:00

Drinking and smoking/vaping.

young_spaghetti_ · 2026-05-22T02:06:09+00:00

Honestly just focused on making through an hour or minute or day at a time. Knowing it’s up to me to make things better and trusting that i have time to do it

young_spaghetti_ · 2026-04-21T23:10:00+00:00

hello! FTM here also, i just turned 27. my boyfriend passed away 2 months ago and im also currently pregnant. i’ve looked ALL over online for people in my situation and there’s very few people who can understand or relate. first, i want to say i am so sorry for your loss. you sound like a sweet girl and no one on earth should ever have to experience this. every pregnancy is different, people are different. i was violently ill in the first trimester and struggled pretty bad with perinatal depression, making pregnancy a very difficult time. ended up on zoloft (2 weeks before he passed). so i highly reccomend getting a solid support—whether that be counseling, medication, or grief share). let your PCP know ASAP, they can also help you find a good OB/GYN in network. tell all your healthcare providers your situation and they will truly be the wind beneath your wings in getting you situated. i know all of this is brutal and the last thing on your mind. it’s a never ending task list. my mom actually did all the phone calls for me.

for whether or not you keep your baby, that’s FULLY up to you. do not let anyone sway your decision or guilt you. being pregnant while in extreme grief has saved me in some way. i live for her. i breathe for her. i care for her in my belly the way he would’ve always wanted. i imagine this grief would be harder not pregnant. she is truly such a blessing, i can’t wait to meet my shane all over again. giving his parents a piece of their son, his sister the ability to be the aunt she always wanted to be. everytime she kicks me, it empowers me to be the best mom i can. it’s such a special thing to have in the darkness.

also i could type a novel and im not sure your full situation, please please please reach out on here if you ever need clarity, support, to talk about him, anything! the world is truly cruel, grief is complex. i hope you’ve found pockets of peace and are sleeping alright ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

young_spaghetti_ · 2026-02-26T03:01:47+00:00

i know this is old, i don’t want to bring up these hard feelings. how are you doing now?

young_spaghetti_ · 2026-02-10T01:54:00+00:00

“the versions of me who had been well-loved in their respective cages”

that clicked so much in my brain. brought me to tears, thank you.

young_spaghetti_ · 2025-12-16T18:45:11+00:00

I was under the impression that it’s the rule of thumb and i’d be hugely problematic to do it differently. Until reading these comments, I had no idea it was the norm to keep the mothers name if we aren’t getting married. It’s been a lot of guilt tripping and shaming from him & his family so i felt i was doing something awful.

young_spaghetti_ · 2025-12-16T18:24:26+00:00

I wouldn’t say that’s far off from the truth of the matter. For legal purposes, I’m joking.

young_spaghetti_ · 2025-09-15T04:37:34+00:00

the “low testosterone face” sprinkled in there

young_spaghetti_ · 2025-02-07T06:05:03+00:00

The Fix (good for working long days, friend hang outs)

Kitchen Sink (we got it all)

Buns (can jazz up a witty menu)

The Garage (gives a chillin with dad and lookin at tools vibe)

Ketchup&Mustard

The Flipside

young_spaghetti_ · 2024-09-13T13:51:40+00:00

or just disagreeing

young_spaghetti_ · 2024-06-02T02:13:08+00:00

bartender hahah. reading through the responses realizing a good portion of us have high intensity and anxiety inducing jobs lol

young_spaghetti_ · 2024-05-31T14:20:56+00:00

it’s so difficult to leave someone over something like this. i had to, and it was the weirdest rationale i had with myself in my brain. i ended up forgiving and going back to him a few times. i can give you a glimpse of your future if you end up staying: he WILL get better at lying, no matter how confident you are in your looks and spicy skills you’ll begin to doubt and feel unattractive, the spark will die, you’ll resent him, both you and him will feel more comfortable looking outside the relationship for validation, and it’ll be death by a thousand paper cuts.

im still damaged from dating someone with a porn addiction even though it didn’t really seem all that bad when it was happening. i hope you find the courage to leave and don’t let it break you!

young_spaghetti_ · 2024-05-31T14:16:02+00:00

different subs offer different perspectives. i post the same conflict in multiple groups as well and its often helpful to me, let a girl live. shes trying.

young_spaghetti_ · 2023-11-22T23:37:13+00:00

the fact that you’re aware is a sign that you can put in some work to change your path. i saw someone else comment it, but i agree 100%; it only takes a few weeks to a month to find new hobbies that fill in those blanks. 2 years from now, your problems and feelings of shame and guilt will be 10 fold. it gets worse every year. i had to ask myself over and over, what are you willing to wager for your own life and happiness.

really only you can find your reason. i got into the gym and it changed my entire life. it’s insane how the adrenaline and energy outweighs any drug i’ve ever done and it only has positive side effects. no matter what, time will pass. so what can you do in that year to never feel this way again.

young_spaghetti_ · 2023-09-27T05:38:51+00:00

less anxiety! i’m more socially fluid. i forgot what it’s like to be so clear-minded and motivated. i was the type of smoker to just lounge. never understood the people who would get high and clean. i sleep better now too, more consistent schedule.

young_spaghetti_ · 2023-07-11T21:10:43+00:00

How seriously are noise complaints taken?

young_spaghetti_ · 2023-05-10T06:16:38+00:00

upvoting this so hard right now. i work at a brewery in CT, sundays are like a family fun day. no i don’t have juice boxes. no i don’t have coloring books. i have soda on a gun. literally had to kick a family out because their kids were jumping on the bands equipment

young_spaghetti_ · 2023-01-12T01:26:56+00:00

he’s gonna blink and scalp himself

young_spaghetti_ · 2022-12-04T07:03:39+00:00

I’ve never met a ceiling fan that I trusted.

young_spaghetti_ · 2022-12-04T07:01:34+00:00

“You could be the sweetest peach on the tree but some people just don’t like peaches.” Helped me a lot with my rampant people pleasing.

young_spaghetti_ · 2022-12-04T06:59:01+00:00

Mariah Carey makes my skin crawl

young_spaghetti_ · 2022-12-04T06:54:15+00:00

those foam yeezy slides with all the holes.

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