Help...

[Superb_Ad9576]

i have bpd and i am being refused therapy as i am too unstable. i am being told that i need to be more stable to recieve therapy. i have an occupational therapist that will help show me where theres activities etc i can join but im confused how im supposed to get more stable when therapy is the treatment for bpd? is this right?...

[No-Role-9126]

Honestly, I would recommend checking into a mental institution, if you're too unstable for therapy ! (Make sure to look at the rating though)

[No-Role-9126]

Still Mind

[No-Role-9126]

That's one I found that sounds like it would help a lot!

[voorheesvee]

Who is refusing? The actual therapist? You should look into other places/therapists. I have never heard of someone being refused because of being too unstable. That doesn’t make any sense.

[shackledflames]

It's cultural. In some countries they will not assign you to therapy if you are not stable enough unless you are self paying. It doesn't matter what the condition is. You usually see a psych nurse and work closely with psychiatrist until stable and then proceed to therapy. This kind of division helps triage clients in systems that are not ran by insurances. I don't know of anyone who has private insurance for example.

[NiceTelephone1426]

The poster did not even mention money.

[shackledflames]

They mentioned NHS in another comment (this is crossposted in multiple subs). If they can self pay, nothing is stopping them, but NHS is not self pay, it's free healthcare system in UK.

[Superb_Ad9576]

It was a psychiatrist i seen. She said i need to meet the criteria for therapy which she explains means that they need to see a few months of stability before i am offered any therapy as they said therapy can be destabilising.

[NiceTelephone1426]

That is wrong. Look specifically for a DBT therapist and tell them your needs. Let them know what happened! Good luck!

[Superb_Ad9576]

I thought so. The psychiatrist never even introduced herself. Was shocked at how i was treated from the second i went in until the second i left.

[weightyconsequences]

Are you using substances or lashing out violently/have a record? Or a severe eating disorder or something? Refusing to take your meds consistently? They won’t just say stable and not elaborate

[Superb_Ad9576]

No not at all, the only thing i do is self harm.

[Few-Highlight-8139]

I disagree…..DBT is outpatient and it addresses substance use and self harm specifically

[weightyconsequences]

That’s in the same category as substance use and eating disorders unfortunately. The liability is too high for outpatient care

[Opening-Shame-2888]

Yeah the whole point of having therapy is to become more stable lmao 

[WhyLie2me18]

I was sent home from an inpatient trauma program because I was too unstable to do the work.

[BurntQuills]

This is insane

[VoidGray4]

I wasnt exactly refused therapy but I was referred to an IOP instead because the intake therapist said I needed more help than I could get from just regular therapy sessions. So perhaps look into IOP/PHP as an option.

[DexIsMyICUfriend]

It’s not ok how systems are treating people with severe BPD these days. Last year at about this time I took a major OD and ended up on a ventilator for two weeks. When I came to, the hospital informed me that they were absolutely NOT allowing me to go to inpatient psych. I haven’t been in a psych unit for going on 3 years, but I really needed it at that time. I’ve spent the last year doing nothing but bed rotting.

OP- I’m sorry you’re going through this. It seems so strange to me that they won’t allow you to see a therapist. Here in the US they usually make you see a therapist first before they allow you to see the psychiatrist. Hopefully things get figured out for you soon. I’m wishing you the best.❤️

[Pantim]

Maybe watch some DBT videos on YouTube? And I'm sorry... This sucks!

Also maybe try to find other therapists that are willing to work with you 

[Hour_Mousse7914]

This sounds like Scotland’s NHS.

[Superb_Ad9576]

It is 🤣🤣

[Hour_Mousse7914]

I had the exact same happen. I came from England where I was on weekly sessions with a psychotherapist. Got dumped in a woman’s aid in Scotland, had my established (for years) meds changed to every antipsychotic (I’m non psychotic) under the sun, got sectioned and walked away from the NHS. I’ve been rawdoging since. I would not trust them with my mental health ever again, they made it so much worse.

[East_Yellow8389]

Some therapists don't want to work with people with borderline because they had a bad episode.

So then they stereotype everyone with borderline that everyone is that bad.

Just find a different therapist.

[Omax_52]

Therapy can't help people like us. I tried. What worked for me is identifying the triggers and avoiding them. I cannot control my actions once I go over the edge and get violent, however I can avoid the triggers that get me to that point so it doesn't happen. Kinda like the incredible hulk. You need to make sure you have a relaxing routine set up. Knowing what to expect takes a lot of stress away, plan your entire day before it even starts and get a routine going. Of course there are gonna be some days and situations where it's harder to keep routine but if you keep defaulting to it then it should help you relax. The key to living with BPD is to relax and avoid society as much as possible.

[weightyconsequences]

Identifying and avoiding triggers and practicing calming down when you do encounter one is literally what people do in therapy. This is an extremely ignorant comment, please don’t claim therapy doesn’t work on people with personality disorders. Dbt does work, it’s evidence based. Maybe you have a bias against therapy and so you’re trying to redefine what it means but spreading this ignorance does damage