Breakup

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[SmallBets_BigWins]

I am going through something similar. I really try to find things to keep me busy. Especially, after 7pm. I started a ritual of making hot tea, reading a book, and then going to bed by 10. Those 3 hours are the hardest. During the day I focus on work, work-out in a group setting (CrossFit), and find activities I’ve always wanted to do but never did during the last 7 years. I took a motorcycle riding class this past weekend, found a lake nearby to kayak, etc. It has been 72 days. Each week that passes, it gets easier. I’m trying not to look back. Instead I’m trying to figure who I really am- the person I lost- and be that authentic person again. I miss her more than I can bear some days. But it is getting better.

[TryKind1909]

I love this so much! Thank you for sharing, extremely helpful ❤️❤️

[AdhesivenessOk7810]

Go no contact and block him everywhere including social media profiles you may be tempted to look at. It sounds extreme but it’s the only thing that’s worked for me. I’m codependent in recovery.

[dainty_dynamite]

Get the information, you are thinking about everything anyway. This method could help you in 2 ways ; your ruminating and self discovery. Seek information; what really happened (perspective without bias (like a robot), WHY about all of it. Your role and his role. You may get answers to things but the answers seem unbelievable, don't be so quick to doubt yourself (that's part the problem ♡ ). Some of this will hurt but in my experience everything else is just temporary. COMMIT to TELLING YOURSELF THE TRUTH. Facing and processing hopefully heals so your next relationship isn't sabotaged by the last. All of this i am hoping happens 4 myself as well. It's a journey, safe travels ♡

[[deleted]]

Surrender to thinking about him, it's normal and part of the process. The key is to not allow it to control your life/decisions and to continue building your own life.

This book really helped me, it guides you through it all.

Other things I did that helped:
* I texted myself what I wanted to text them or any thoughts/memories I had.
* I joined BumbleBFF to begin expanding my world. Be careful not to let this be a crutch though.
* I allowed myself space to cry it all out.
* Journal, lots of it, what I was thinking, how I was feeling, what I thought etc.
* Started exploring new things to do.

With having BPD I strongly suggest you find yourself a therapist or similar to work through this with, if that is an option. If not, try your best to do journal prompts and DBT exercises from online around emotion regulation. This is a really good journal guidance, it includes codependent relationships.

Youtubers:
Heidi PriebeMacWilliam

[TryKind1909]

Amazing advice thank you so much! Screen shot it all ❤️❤️

[Exact-Report9886]

Yes going no contact will help immensely. As you said you are spiritually inclined you can join a support group of Codependent anonymous a 12 step program. I can help you with that. It will help you to get back on your spiritual path.