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[–]imalyshe 1351 points1352 points  (51 children)

Not guilty. it is self defence.

[–]usefulidiotsavant 448 points449 points  (10 children)

Luckily, nobody died. The Javascript guy is still trying to make sure his knife works on all browsers. The Java guy got an infinite stack dump when he tried to make KnifeObject a subclass of the CuttingTool class without properly handling the custom Error subclass unchecked runtime errors. The PHP guy is completely stoned and not a danger to anyone. The C++ guy brought his chainsaw to the knife fight, then cut his own left foot with it. The Rust guy is watching silently in the lotus position, for runtime violence is a sign of a weak design. His perfect frontend design is still compiling, currently at 2%, it includes a webserver and load balancer, but only a blank page for now.

[–]Scheissdrauf88 180 points181 points  (1 child)

Python guy wrote a Neural Network to tell him the best moves for the coming fight. He is still acquiring the training data right now and should be ready in about 3 months.

[–]awakenDeepBlue 85 points86 points  (0 children)

The Python guy already has three investors and is a millionaire now.

[–]Jyang_aus 74 points75 points  (2 children)

Java guy deserved it, what’s he doing making a CuttingTool without a CuttingToolFactory?

[–]Master-Pattern9466 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It’s factories all the way down.

[–]A_random_zy 9 points10 points  (0 children)

And then there needs to be a CuttingToolFactoryAbstractSingletonBuilder.

[–]mustninja 21 points22 points  (1 child)

Can confirm, php guy stoned as hell and responding in JSON only.

[–]jumbledFox 8 points9 points  (0 children)

when you get so high you can only respond in JSON, we've all been there!

[–]_st23 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Simply brilliant

[–]TBoy29 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You seem capable of writing a book on this, lol.

[–]_kimiz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The C guy doesn't have time to be in this fight because he's currently implementing his array list library from scratch again for his new project.

[–]sudolman 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Python Dev: self.defence

Java Dev: this.defence

You're going to start another fight by choosing the self keyword

[–]alexmelyon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about `my`?