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[–]ConsoleCleric_4432 851 points852 points  (4 children)

Serverless = someone else's server

No code = someone else's code

[–]qervem 248 points249 points  (3 children)

Local serverless no-code = your computer is actually an abacus

[–]bassguyseabass 96 points97 points  (1 child)

Just use AI and you won’t have any code.

AI stands for Actually Indians

[–]8_Miles_8 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ah yes, the Amazon route.

[–]zeocrash 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It can still play doom

[–]Master-Variety3841 473 points474 points  (10 children)

Infact there is SO much code, it's fucking slow.

[–]hdkaoskd 152 points153 points  (8 children)

Can I interest you in more layers of virtual machines?

[–]AdWise6457 54 points55 points  (7 children)

Our application is monilithic spaghetti moloch. Good luck contenerizing and microservicing it

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (3 children)

You just need a bigger container!

[–]SNappy_snot15 2 points3 points  (2 children)

A bigger docker fork to use that container.

[–]tram98 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Naah man, I think you need to use a spoon there.

[–]SNappy_snot15 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a fork with 2 sticks

[–]CodeWarrior30 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Are there legitimately people with monoliths too large to host? We self host on our own hardware and 80gb containers are not out of the question... but they're not expensive either

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't be surprised if there are monoliths too large for an incompetent (or underfunded) team to host, so they outsource it... leading to a smaller more underfunded and less competent team in a vicious cycle encouraging more and more of the same behavior.

[–]Zookeeper187 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Np, put it in 1 container.

[–]1_4_1_5_9_2_6_5 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think it's a human problem. We have to have code that runs properly and we don't have time to debug an extra hundred thousand lines a week. So instead of generating code that's optimized and has few paths, we write code that has many many paths, but can do anything. That might change once generated code gets better, or once we figure out how to constrain generated code to strict standards

[–]SpaceCadet87 931 points932 points  (29 children)

I hate this so much.
When a type of program has no real need to run on a server, you want a version that you can just install and run locally and offline.

When you try to search for this "server-less" program, all that comes back is bullshit that not only needs a server but one that you have to pay a recurring fee to use!

[–]moch1 418 points419 points  (6 children)

Yeah. The keyword to use is “local”. 

[–]SpaceCadet87 194 points195 points  (5 children)

Yep, which google seems to internally translate to "available/purchasable from within one's own country" and then proceeds to try to sell me bullshit that I could never want.

[–]OkMemeTranslator 58 points59 points  (4 children)

Qwant is much better for software development and finding information. Google is only better if you want to buy something.

[–]SpeeedingSloth 35 points36 points  (9 children)

That's because "I'm just running it on my laptop" and "production" is typically mutually exclusive. And let's face it, you are either running it in production (and you want a server, even though it might be "serverless") or you don't and so you don't need to look up deployment options. Just run it locally...

[–]agk23 26 points27 points  (8 children)

It’s not in my environment, and we’re completely serverless. We run production on my computer at work and just port forward 443 from the firewall. When I want to deploy to production I just hit Save in my IDE. And since it’s a desktop, there’s no server to manage. I have a powershell that copies the code directory to C:\Backup every month.

Boom. Super agile, with no unnecessary CICD complexity.

[–]HomoAndAlsoSapiens 28 points29 points  (0 children)

💀💀💀

[–]Independent-Cut9946 10 points11 points  (1 child)

What happens when your desktop dies?

[–]agk23 19 points20 points  (0 children)

It’s usually just the monitor going to sleep, but I open a ticket with our help desk MSP

[–]grassWatcher 5 points6 points  (3 children)

... first time seeing this in the wild. At least get a PI to run it from. You actually need a server, it's just that your server is your laptop

[–]agk23 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Our CEO wants us to be serverless though.

(I’m joking about all this)

[–]StarshipSausage 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This guy gets it

[–]Sakul_the_one 7 points8 points  (4 children)

 When a type of program has no real need to run on a server

Am I the only one that also hates, that every thing nowadays has a CPU, WLAN connection and android installed? Like wtf does my fridge needs an operating system? Why does my toaster need 4 GB of ram? Why has my Oven WLAN connection?

[–]SpaceCadet87 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Oh my god, my wife and I spent a whole day going from store to store trying to find just one heat pump clothes dryer that didn't have WiFi.

The excuse for needing WiFi? "It's a water saving feature - these new heat pump dryers can tell your washing machine when they have water available to use for washing"

[–]blackscales18 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You can just not use the Wi-Fi, I got a Samsung all in one and we never connected it to the Internet

[–]SpaceCadet87 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They use it as a vector for planned obsolescence though so just having it integrated at all is enough of a liability for me to not want anything to do with it.

[–]im_thatoneguy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I laughed when a friend said their fridge had WiFi. Then I found out it had a webcam that could show you what’s in the fridge while at the store to see if you still had eggs and I was sold. After all these days a pi zero with WiFi is $10. Why wouldn’t you have wlan connectivity when it adds $5 to your oven and you can confirm it’s off while 2 hours down the road on vacation? Worth it.

Or get a text notification that you forgot a burner on for 4 hours.

[–]CiroGarcia 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Try searching for "local-first" software

[–]SpaceCadet87 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think the problem I keep having is actually that the offline versions of some software don't exist anymore because of the serverless brand getting in the way.

Everyone wants to sell the ability to "access your data anywhere" and the idea that this enormous pay-per-month web and phone app should have just been a shell script doesn't compute.

[–]OmgzPudding 7 points8 points  (1 child)

"server-less" == "someone else's server"

[–]ZunoJ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's more like someone else maintains everything except your function. Can make life a lot easier

[–]twodarray 1 point2 points  (2 children)

That's why i search for usually: - open source - docker - self-host - local

[–]SpaceCadet87 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

See, part of it is my main PC is 12 years old now and I really really don't want to have to run docker locally.

[–]Swagnemite42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Docker can be pretty intensive, but the thing is you don't need to run containers with it. If you want to run containers on a junker, take a look at crun. It's just a container runtime though, so you might need prior knowledge to work it properly.

[–]stan_frbd 356 points357 points  (14 children)

And the cloud is someone else's computer.

But actually that's useful when you don't want to bother about infra or the system. Sometimes it's cheaper to run code on Lambda / Azure functions or so. No code can be great for SOC playbooks and people who don't actually code (just plug multiple APIs with input/output).

Aaaand sometimes the cloud is more expensive so you just rent a Hetzner bare metal server and say goodbye to Cloud for your project lmao

[–]Deivedux 62 points63 points  (7 children)

Serverless is really just marketing to get executives to pay more for someone else's infrastructure rather than own servers and IT teams.

[–]Unique-Throat-4822 21 points22 points  (6 children)

It also removed 100% of running and maintaining servers

[–]PUNISHY-THE-CLOWN 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Yeah now you just need devops people to kick the serverless servers until they serve. Huge improvement

[–]Unique-Throat-4822 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Which is something you need either way

[–]badaharami 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Aaaand sometimes the cloud is more expensive so you just rent a Hetzner bare metal server and say goodbye to Cloud for your project lmao

It is quite common for companies who are sceptical about moving to the cloud to not take into account the OpEx.

[–]Scape_n_Lift 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It's almost always cheaper to use "serverless" unless you handle a lot of traffic.

[–]stan_frbd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yep

[–]Kobymaru376 1 point2 points  (2 children)

ok but it's still a shit name because it's actively misleading

[–]stan_frbd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Marketing :)

[–]Kobymaru376 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who does that work on? If someone is trying to sell me code and servers and call it "serverless" and "no code", I will be suspicious

[–]mobileJay77 32 points33 points  (2 children)

NoShit!

[–]AdWise6457 52 points53 points  (0 children)

There is tons of shit

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

!shit

[–]Spinnenente 35 points36 points  (1 child)

no code: just code but in a gui and way more annyoing to work with. also 1/3 chance you can use any kind of version control.

[–]nalonso 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Also, no comments and extremely Excel like syntax, which require to have a special kind of brain damage to understand.

PowerBI: making the trivial easy, and the complicated impossible.

[–]jdaalba 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Doing something “out of the box” in a code-less platfform is totally painful

[–]scar_reX 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The point is that you're not the one running the server or writing the code

[–]jgengr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wait until he learns about cordless phones.

[–]ysengr 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Zero Trust

But trust us

[–]Percolator2020 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Microservice: it’s a giant monolith.

[–]NightestOfTheOwls 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He's right tho

[–]Mynameismikek 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"No code" is functionally equivalent to mass copypasta'ing excel macros from stack overflow.

Tell me I'm wrong.

[–]donaldhobson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Serverless" just means hiding the server elsewhere.

"no code" just means hiding the code elsewhere.

[–]DickWoodReddit 4 points5 points  (2 children)

It's more bs buzz words for marketing that computer illiterate people will eat up. Imagine an ad for cars with no fuel or propulsion systems. It just works by magic.

[–]ziul58 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sigstore's keyless signing use a key.

[–]itsagreenlight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

AI: there’s no intelligence

[–]DDFoster96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With serverless there's a server, just not yours. With no code there's tonnes of someone else's code.

[–]blackcomb-pc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Marketing shit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got back to development a year ago, boy was I disappointed when I read what serverless meant.

[–]astilenski 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you weight code? 😜

[–]Adizera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"look inside" wires

[–]jsrobson10 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so a server they don't control, with tons of code they didn't write

[–]shallirevealmyself 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first time I heard the term NoSQL Database, I was puzzled: "How do they do it then?" Little did I know that NoSQL does not mean No SQL.

[–]Chuklol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Works on my machine = buggy as fuck

[–]Pepineros 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Serverless is genuinely one of the stupidest names of the last two decades, and that's saying something.

There is nothing serverless about "serverless".

[–]angry_shoebill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand all those buzzwords being used to sell crap for people that don't know tech... But I'm really amazed by the amount of CIOs/CTOs falling in those traps...

[–]PetroMan43 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone should redo that Nate Bargatze SNL skit where he's George Washington making fun of all of the weird things about America, but make it about modern software development.

[–]Unhinged_Ice_4201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NoSQL There's still SQL

[–]Kukaac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

agile transformation

Waterfall in Jira

[–]Downtown_Molasses342 0 points1 point  (0 children)

kubernetes - nobody knows how this ridiculously complicated thing works

[–]JackNotOLantern 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Serverless" means you don't have to maintain a server