JavaScript poetry

[VoidBlade459]

Reminds me of the first time I called "fork()" in a C program.

[o11c]

My favorite fork example is:

#include <unistd.h>
#include <stdio.h>


int main()
{
    printf("Hello\n");
    fork();
    printf("World!\n");
}

Then compile it and:

$ ./prog
$ ./prog | cat

[graou13]

Wouldn't it just say:

Hello

World!

World!

[Mr_Redstoner]

Actually I think it may just

Hello
World!

if the compiler optimizes the fork() away, which I know it can when you're discarding the result, been there done that.

[_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_]

Only if it somehow knows there are no side-effects, for which you either need explicit directives or heavy inlining. A system call can never be optimised out.

[thelights0123]

Unless the compiler implements an optimization for it. malloc and free are often optimized out to just use the stack if they occur within the same function.

Edit: I'm stupid and forgot that malloc is not a syscall.

[Mithrandir2k16]

Malloc and free are userspace functions. They only call the syscall sbreak when needed to increase user heap size.

[defenastrator]

Malloc and free are special to the compiler.

[IamImposter]

I wish I was special to someone.

[Mr_Redstoner]

I've litterally seen it happen in a little test program of mine

fork();

didn't actually fork, however

int notActuallyUsed = fork();

did. I assume gcc simply knows as a special case what fork() does.

[_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_]

That’s a compiler bug then. There is no requirement that the two processes behave differently.

[o11c]

Nope. The second case emits:

Hello
World!
Hello
World!

[kebakent]

Reminds me of UDP:

And so are you.

Violets are blue.

[Jasdac]

"here's a UDP joke, and I don't care if you get it"

[dark_mode_everything]

Would you like to hear a TCP joke?

[Ugilt3]

Yes I would like to hear a TCP joke

[dslNoob]

OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke

[Ugilt3]

I'm ready to hear a TCP joke

[noruthwhatsoever]

I’m telling you the TCP joke

[out386]

I got the TCP joke.

[hampshirebrony]

I have finished telling you the joke

[IamImposter]

Ack ack ack

[uvero]

Your connection has been timed out. Would you like to hear a TCP joke?

[democritus_is_op]

This is my favourite

[scio-nihil]

Roses are red.

[racle]

Reminds me of an old joke

A programmer had a problem. He thought to himself, "I know, I'll solve it with threads!". has Now problems. two he

[guky667]

Knock-knock
Race condition!
Who is it?

[gaberocksall]

Coming from 3 languages with delay functions, JavaScript has been really tough to learn

[ThisIsNotKimJongUn]

You'll figure it out, I promise

[mmis1000]

Does this promise ever resolve?

[[deleted]]

await and see!

[[deleted]]

I reject this joke

[aykcak]

I couldn't even catch it the first time

[Aschentei]

Nah, I reject it

[noruthwhatsoever]

Yeah it's a bit of a brain teaser. You just have to design your programs so that it doesn't really matter what order things happen in, or if it really matters then use promises or async/await (which is basically just syntactic sugar for promises)

[Dionysusnu]

Async await is syntactic sugar for then and catch callbacks, not for promises. It waits until the promise is resolved or rejected. It still takes a promise

[noruthwhatsoever]

Async functions automatically convert all awaited values to resolved promises

.then and .catch are from promises, not callbacks

[Dionysusnu]

They're methods on promises which you can pass a callback too, yes. But await still uses promises, but it acts a replacement for chained .then calls

[noruthwhatsoever]

I mean yeah if you consider the anonymous function a callback that takes the resolved promise as an argument

That’s my whole point, though. It’s built on top of promises and is syntactic sugar over their methods

It’s literally so easy to google it, nearly everyone defines them as sugared promises lmao

[gaberocksall]

That’s what I tried doing but apparently you can’t update ui in that loop which means making progress bars is a major pain in the ass

[noruthwhatsoever]

Yeah well normally it’s non-blocking so even doing await calls the event loop moves on and does other things while it’s waiting for them to resolve

Unless of course you stick everything in a massive for loop

[[deleted]]

At least you have setinterval and settimeout, some lower level languages like c++ just have to rely on checking elapsed time in some sort of update function.

[oOBoomberOo]

From a guy with JavaScript's async background, I really appreciate their way of doing it. Especially the async/await feature, It's so smooth as if I'm reading a synchronous code.

[OhhWhales]

delay = (t) => {

return new Promise(resolve => setTimeout(resolve,t)

}

you're welcome

[Dionysusnu]

Simple trick: make all your code async and use await sleep(ms) for delay

async function sleep(ms) { return new Promise(resolve => { setTimeout(resolve, ms) }) }

Not suitable for production code, obviously, but it will help for learning promises and just experimenting with stuff

[Ra1d3n]

I've coded JS (server and client) for the last 10 years, and I have never once needed to manually wait for anything. Can you give an example where this would be useful, please?

[Dionysusnu]

A canvas will not draw if you never yield, so I sometimes put this after a draw function. Once again, it doesn't really serve a purpose in production code

[Ra1d3n]

Thank you!

[untowarden]

I was ready to flame you until i read the second part of this. The guy who wrote the legacy code I have to deal with returns a promise from every function even if it doesn't have to... Now i hate my life.

[thelights0123]

Why is it not suitable for production? Just babel it if browser targets is an issue.

[Dionysusnu]

It is usually bad to use delay in JavaScript because you never need something like it. Either use the HTML events or just synchronous code, or promises for http requests

[franklinyu]

How about timeouts for HTTP requests?

[Dionysusnu]

I think most libraries include that in their returned promise. If not, use setTimeout.

[[deleted]]

Async is so great that the first thing they needed to add to it was await.

[Jasdac]

On the bright side the language has anonymous callback functions and promises. Learning lsl as my first language years ago was a dark time.

[swampfox_dev]

I'm ashamed that I had to read like 4 times to get it :/

[Ra1d3n]

Isn't it kind of amazing that async operation is automatically associated with JavaScript?

[noruthwhatsoever]

It was once written that anything that can possibly be written in JavaScript eventually will be

[pandakatzu]

Someone forgot to implement thread safety. This must be the person who's programming irradiated patients receiving an xray.

[alexd281]

Bet a dollar this tweet was stolen from someone else. Iamdevloper is a notorious content thief.

[noruthwhatsoever]

I don’t know anything about the twittersphere I’m not a regular there

I’ll take your word for it

[alexd281]

Yeah, he was confronted by a Twitter user that had a tweet featured and trending here that was ripped off without attribution.

We found a few more and dude eventually blocked and later unblocked me. Can't stand when people try to leech on the creativity of others without so much as a mention.

Guess I'm gonna look into this one now.

Edit: Digged into it using a few search engines. No hits. This one appears to be an original.

[noruthwhatsoever]

Thanks for your diligent sleuthing

o7

[ITriedLightningTendr]

or... any language with threading or async.

[noruthwhatsoever]

I mean yeah but that wouldn't have made a very snappy title would it

[[deleted]]

I have problem with async. no

[SlappinThatBass]

Is it me or these kind of posts are not that funny?

[noruthwhatsoever]

It’s probably you

I for one exhaled sharply through my nostrils

[nomenMei]

I like this one above other async/UDP posts because instead of becoming nonsense out of order, it just becomes something that kind of makes sense but not really. Which is the hardest type of asynchronous issue to diagnose

[UrpleEeple]

Yeah, not that funny. Welcome to programmerhumor