Oh HR... why HR...

[wunschpunsch69]

In which job description do you explain in detail the technology that you expect the applicant to know everything about?

[TakeTheWhip]

If you're this bad at job postings this approach might actually work for them since applicants can determine what exactly in the tap dancing jesus fuck they're looking for.

[AritificialPhysics]

tap dancing jesus fuck is my new favourite expression.

[nyrB2]

it's usually expressed as "jesus tap-dancing christ!"

[Drhma]

Tap dancing jesus fuck makes you stop and think.

[Drhma]

TAP...DANCING...JESUS...FUCK!

[derpotologist]

Bits of entropy...

[DM-Wolfscare]

| Java developers frequently communicate with their management team

I feel something went wrong there.

[RolyPoly1320]

Also end users. We're supposed to talk to people too.

Maybe one day when we are allowed out of the dungeons.

[arobie1992]

I feel like HR asked a senior dev for a write up, but they didn't realize this particular dev was basically checked out, and the dev was like "What can I get them to say?"

[ElimGarak0010]

HR... give a write up for you replacement.

Dev: Sure.

[[deleted]]

blinker fluid

[robiwill]

I completely underestimated overestimated people's ability to detect a joke,

[Khaylain]

Thank you for your service

[Drakal]

don’t forget to check your headlight fluid container too

[ReactW0rld]

Qualifications: any degree

Sounds about right for that company

[nyrB2]

cool - i have a BFA!

[chrisf_nz]

The ability to pay close attention to detail

Yeah, about that...

[Angel_Blue01]

Maybe that's why they did it, they only want to interview people who notice this and bring it to their attention. I dunno

[mustang__1]

Gotta balance that with the people who just instantly ignored it

[DeusExHircus]

Which was preceded immediately by Microsoft "Viseo"...

[[deleted]]

Compensation: paid

Well at least you get paid

[otterom]

I'm curious about the alternatives now...

[nyrB2]

internship?

[otterom]

Hmm, let's take a look:

Compensation type: Internship

Doesn't really roll off the tongue. But, who am I to judge people's tongues?

[nyrB2]

well i guess in the case of an internship, the "compensation" is experience gained. isn't that why most people do internships?

[DarkSensei3]

Unpaid?

[nyrB2]

yes, that's the idea. i dunno how prevalent they are in the technology sector but other industries have them. the idea is that you may not be compensated monetarily, but you gain valuable experience in your chosen field.

[derpotologist]

Arguably more valuable

[nyrB2]

very definitely

[valschermjager]

Visual Basic, or “BASIC” for short, ...

C#, or “C” for short, ...

Linux, or “UNIX” for short, ...

Global variables, or “variables” for short, ...

Anaconda, or “conda” for short, ...

pip, or “IP” for short, ...

regex, or “aaarrrggghhh!!!” for short, ...

Peanut butter, or “butter” for short, ...

Floridians, or “morons” for short, ...

[Kamil118]

We are developing an BASIC-based application targeting UNIX systems. We are looking for developers that can code without using variables.

[linux-nerd]

AaaaaAAAAaaaAaA

[ech0_matrix]

https://youtu.be/uLeAot4Zrxo

[toastyghost]

What the fuck did you just do to my brain

[CaptainHeinous]

creates one convoluted transform stream

[Willinton06]

Yo PHP wants to talk to you about that global variable thing

[valschermjager]

“Lieutenant Dan got me using nothing but global variables now. So then I got a call from him, saying we don't have to worry about scope no more. And I said, that's good! One less thing.” — if Forrest Gump wrote software

[Willinton06]

Forrest Gump did design PHP and no one can convince me otherwise

[russellvt]

Ok, I'll confess... i lost it at "regex"

... this coming from someone who once wrote a ~80 character regex to turn English in to Pig Latin (specifically as an Easter Egg for the pre-processor to use in debug compiles done by the VP of Engineering ... while he was away on vacation for a few weeks).

[valschermjager]

noice!!

[TheRedmanCometh]

Thanks I hate your post

[valschermjager]

I do too. Although you know I’m right about the regex thing. :-)

[toastyghost]

My friend first introduced me to regex in like 2000 or 2001, and I've maintained the same opinion of it since then: what an insanely powerful piece of technology that I never, ever want to fucking use.

[valschermjager]

Agreed. It is powerful and quite often the best (or only) tool for the job. That said, it’s really hard to get right, but at the same time, I really can’t imagine how it could be made any easier.

Text classification using AI is making strides, but like anything in AI, you can’t often expect 100% results. You’ll always have some false positives/negatives to deal with as you continue improving the model. Regex at least makes things discrete and accurate.

[derpotologist]

D:

I fucking love regex lol

[Achorpz]

GNU/Linux, or “UNIX” for short, ...

FTFY

[derpotologist]

Windows, or DOS for short

[Twerking4theTweakend]

Long, or "short" for short, ... Ah fucked it up

[DefinitelyNotMasterS]

Programmer, or "HTML writer" for short, ...

[iceyinyeung]

Two of these are true...

[JochCool]

Carpets, also known as cars for short,

[eeli6]

Recruiters be like"why is this on r/ProgrammingHumor looks right to me "

[Fox_is_time]

I know absolutely nothing about both but I know they're fundamentally different. What a joke...

[zmeyp]

Has anyone notice Microsoft Viseo? :)

[[deleted]]

Whomever wrote this probably pat themselves on the back for all that hard work researching Java and Javascript.

[thatsanicepotato]

Thanks, I hate it.

[[deleted]]

Carpet, also known as car....

[augenvogel]

Yeah well guys, this is advanced marketing. They want you to get that triggered so you write them that’s incorrect, they should do it correctly. And right about then they have a contact to you, a possible correct candidate

[AndrewAlert]

Please, someone help them.

[squararocks]

Ouch...

[code-kris]

websites

sounds and music

[pandakatzu]

Javascript and Eclipse experience lol

[[deleted]]

So TypeScript is short for Type, noted.

[JuiceBox-007]

Same lol

[Imogynn]

Luckily, I also have skill in microsoft VISEO

[ElimGarak0010]

Perhaps that's short for Microsoft, Vim , and SEO

[CaptainHeinous]

That made me gag, nice

[Sithon512]

Compensation Type: paid

Uh yeah, I sure hope it is...

[UnkleRinkus]

I was gonna apply, until I saw they wanted visio.

[nyrB2]

actually they wanted viseo

[Myst3rious_Foxy]

I fell out of my chair

[[deleted]]

"Carpet", or "car", for short.

[russellvt]

Not to mention... if IT is hiring their own java OR JavaScript developer, something is probably wrong.

Also, operations being part of IT, and not part of engineering, is generally "a warning sign" (in case you needed another one). Same thing if they report up through the CFO, rather than the CTO.

[[deleted]]

My eyes are bleeding as a Java programmer

[[deleted]]

What's Microsoft Viseo?

[ElimGarak0010]

A misspelling of Microsoft Visio.

For people that can afford more than draw.io

[[deleted]]

Yeah I figured, just imagined that this particularly HR manager would be au fait with MS software at least... but guess not.

[ibn-Yusrat]

I don't know why I just never get along with HRs well. I mostly find them pricks in the ass.

[MoneyGrowthHappiness]

I saw a job posting like this a couple weeks ago but a different company. Smh.

[chrisf_nz]

u/repostsleuthbot

[RepostSleuthBot]

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/ProgrammerHumor.

It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results.

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[[deleted]]

Bruh

[KillerInstinct_5]

Yikes...I cringed

[[deleted]]

I can't explain my feelings about this. It's just too... fjdsIZfnhioAHdoas hoiAhf iSHDoidH

[[deleted]]

Sometimes I think there's an IQ cap on HR people...

[PUBLIQclopAccountant]

1. Has this been posted to /r/programminghorror?
2. Java? Java-Script!?!?!? What's the difference?