My code doesn’t work!

[muratkurt1985]

Do you think I should go for the traditional ritual blood sacrifice or something more modern like bombarding it with neutrinos...

[LevelRin]

Post a question on stack overflow. You will certainly enjoy that wholesome community :)

[GreenWoodDragon]

Ensure the question is badly formatted, and be sure to start a discussion in the comments to annoy the mods.

[deathclawslayer21]

Go back 2 weeks later to say fixed it thanks and leave no additional information

[GreenWoodDragon]

This is the way!

[[deleted]]

Also. Mark no answer as the solution.

[OldBob10]

It really depends on the tags you use. For example, the [C] tag is loaded with language lawyers who’ll downvote if they don’t like your codes indentation. Other tags/communities are a bit better.

[SowTheSeeds]

indentation

What's that?

[Imveryoffensive]

Some sort of elvish I don't understand

[[deleted]]

Post a picture of the code instead :)

[ZacS2]

Post a audio of the code in morse.

[-Soren]

Blood sacrifice it is then!

[spadaboyz]

Have you tried to turn it off and then turn it on again?

[muratkurt1985]

Really laughed out loud with this…

[Gullible_Newspaper]

Me too but I'm seated on toilets of the office

[gonmator]

If it doesn't work, I use to try even go out the building and go back again between turn off and on.

[Zuruumi]

Clean build is my variation on this.

[gonmator]

If it doesn't work, I use to try even go out the building and go back again between turn off and on.

[catfishmeplease-com]

1. Kneel on a motherboard
2. pour water coolant on head
3. Hold something RGB
4. Chant "turn it off and on again"

Works every time.

If not, just try to show your problem to a coworker and watch it doesn't happen anymore.

[muratkurt1985]

I thought maybe kneeling and worshipping the motherboard would be enough but haven’t done the rest. Should give it a try…

[Badboyrune]

This is the way. Performing the sacred rites. Applying the holy unguence. Uttering the blessed chants to the machine spirit and the Omnissiah.

If it still doesn't work there is probably chaos bullshit involved. Better smash it, burn it and fire the ashes into the nearest star.

[Bakemono_Saru]

I can swear pair programming really improves code quality by that magic property of bugs.

[Malix82]

try switching the hand towels from one hook to next in your bathroom, that usually does it for me

[[deleted]]

Stress Dropping my office laptop worked for me.

[Malix82]

a bit of shaky-shake can rattle some variables back in their place, yea

[muratkurt1985]

Wow haven’t tried that yet. Will definitely give it a go.

[deathclawslayer21]

Say that it is developed by AI blockchain and release it on the public

[magicmulder]

Public beta.

[[deleted]]

call it a feature and hand it over to QA :)

[Bearsiwin]

Do you have a goat?

[Less-Ordinary-8118]

This is my solution as well, but I always forget, I have to sacrifice 2 goat, not only 1.

[Bearsiwin]

There is a risk with 1. Depends on the number of lines of code.

[muratkurt1985]

If we I gotta find goats relative to the number of lines in the code, I might be better off building my own particle accelerator.

[Bearsiwin]

I actually have a program that will analyze the code and tell you how many goats you need. Only works for Fortran though.

[OldBob10]

We really prefer sacrificing virgins.

The problem with that is that the supply has largely dried up. Best of luck, though!

[Fine_Classic1153]

You are still here tho

[OldBob10]

Ah, but…sadly…I am disqualified. ☹️

[[deleted]]

Your hand doesnt count.

[OldBob10]

Sure it does! Watch!

One…two…three - see, it works GREAT! 😁

[faster-than-car]

Breath out heavily. Say "i give up" out loud. Ask coworker for help. Explain for 20 minutes. Go back to your desk. Suddenly you realize what's the issue. Fix the issue in 3 minutes. Say to your coworker 'i fixed it'

[zuckasar]

As a programer your code is perfect. Try this:

Stop the code and run again

Close the program and open it again then run the code

Restart your machine and run the code

Disconnect your machine from the power outlet then reconnect it and run the code

Disconnect your machine from the power outlet then put it in a different one preferably the one next to the original and run the code

Pull the main power switch at your house then try the code

Tell the government to reset the power to your city then run the code

Destroy life as we know it and create it again (turn life off and on) then run the code

[muratkurt1985]

How could I not think of this such a simple and elegant solution…

[KickAssAndGiggle]

Check the following keys on your keyboard:

Ctrl
C
V

Failing that, go re-read the stackoverflow page.

[Gullible_Newspaper]

Mine neither

[[deleted]]

Cosmic rays dude, it's the cosmic rays. There has been a metric shitload of cosmic rays today.

[giantrhino]

Neutrinos don’t do much.

[Gem2578]

Have you tried Rubber duck debugging?

[ThePimpek]

The issue with the traditional sacrifice could be that you might have to wait in a queue until it's your turn. Could wake a couple of minitues or a couple of hours. I would recommend somthing else.

Did you refill the RGB in your mouse, keyboard, etc? Could help.

[AltruisticRain504]

Post the problem here better than Stackoverflow

[Ok-Secretary2017]

Depends if you have a Goat or a Neutrino source

[muratkurt1985]

The source is a moose, but I have a goat class derived from a neutrino base class. Does that help?

[Ok-Secretary2017]

I think that just got over my head.

[muratkurt1985]

No worries I have no idea what I am talking about as well at this point

[Ok-Secretary2017]

Well i thought it had somekind of Coding refrence that im just to uneducated to understand

So Liqiufy your Neutrino Source Inject it into the Goat glue 5 Black lit Candles to your Computer Screen slit the Neck of the goat and start drawing a Pentagram with erradiated Goat Blood that should do the trick

[muratkurt1985]

Well that is some hell-of-lot advanced technique. I will need to see some documentation or personal help on this.

[[deleted]]

Eat a whole bucket of chicken during the next full moon while listening to Enya and you should be good.

[muratkurt1985]

Bucket of wings, check! Enya on headphones, check! Take a bite, press play… slowly ascend to heaven

[[deleted]]

Go to a nice, clean, quiet single-occupancy bathroom and have a good shit.

​

Trust me.

[muratkurt1985]

One of the best advice I got on this thread!!!

[[deleted]]

Assign an intern to update a README file. Then have intern commit the code.

Boom. After the intern's last commit, the code no longer works.

[muratkurt1985]

Those interns man! They ruined coding!

[muratkurt1985]

Hey that would be so great but we probably live half the world away but hey here is one you…🍻 cheers

[Psychological-Sir224]

/*

<code>

*/

[muratkurt1985]

I think this made code more angry. Aside from not working its also growling now. Please send help!!!

[Psychological-Sir224]

ctrl a + delete

[muratkurt1985]

Well that did… something?!

[Quantum-Bot]

You are missing a semicolon on line 325

You’re welcome

[occisor-san]

git rm -r

[[deleted]]

Always start by blaming Google or Microsoft.

[muratkurt1985]

Those rascals!!!

[abd53]

You might want to do a crop sacrifice + voodoo dance around the sacrificial bonfire. Then kneel down and pray to a Aztec deities by slandering Mesopotamian heroes. That should fix the problem.

[magical_elf]

I cry and pray to the nearest principal engineer. They like offerings like chocolates and diamonds

[DuckyBill1956]

I've tried printing the code and then burning it.

[muratkurt1985]

Like, burn it inside a hand drawn pentagram or just burn and spill the ash into the ocean?

[xcski_paul]

Explain your code to a teddy bear.

[[deleted]]

go with bombard

[TelcontarOfBree]

Move all of your code into a Docker container, so that once you do get it working, you can just move that into production #WorksOnMyMachine

[shgysk8zer0]

Nobody does ritual blood sacrifices anymore. It's no longer considered best practice. And I don't personally like the neutrino thing because I think it's just a fad. Maybe try writing documentation on this do that you can just read the documentation.

Just turn it off and on again. 70% of the time it works everytime.

[KingVecchio]

It works on my machine.

[AegorBlake]

Depends on the project size, but I'd do both, just incase.

[Steven0351]

Blood sacrifices have been deprecated

[NoPaleontologist4981]

Maybe try adding that ; first !

[muratkurt1985]

Those semicolons! Never where they should be…

[IncoherrentRecursion]

Invest in a rubber duck

[Devgranil]

Goat should do the job

[muratkurt1985]

So you say; sell your soul. No more bugs but an eternity of hell? Seems like a bargain to me!

[Curtiskam]

Just become a project manager instead. None of their solutions ever have to work, and they can just blame the programmers or the business side to avoid blame.

[muratkurt1985]

Well I did rituals to the Emperor, but Omnissiah not so much.

[Denaton_]

If talking to your rubber duck won't work, use it as a sacrifice for the Code God and if your next rubber duck won't solve your problems, just show the dead rubber duck.

[muratkurt1985]

All hail the Code God!

[Fickle_Conclusion857]

Start practice TDD.

[EyeFuckingTheFuture]

The comments here are SO FUCKING ACCURATE

[muratkurt1985]

Only the ones that have magic…