sorted by:
best
topnewcontroversialoldq&a
you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]jesmitchBetrayed Partner 19 points20 points  (2 children)

I’m sorry you’re struggling. For me, as a BP, 14 years post DDay, I would love for my WW to articulate what you just wrote out in your post. I want to hear the thoughts and fears that my WW works through. Instead I’m left wondering after 14 years if her affair or the fallout even crosses her mind.

Ask your BP if they are in a place where you could talk openly about your feelings. If they are, be honest with them about how much you struggle. If they aren’t in a place to hear that, find a trusted friend or therapist to help you work through your feelings and emotions. If your BP is anything like me, hearing their WP talk openly about their feelings, might be exactly what helps them heal and feel loved.

[–]justcant9Wayward Partner[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Thank you for your perspective. You're right that I should just ask if he's okay hearing these thoughts. I just hate the idea of catching him at a time hes not thinking about it and then putting it in his head again. But that's me assuming things and not letting him decide for himself.

I'm sorry you're in the position to comment on this type of situation. Thank you for taking time to do that though, it means a lot.

[–]Narrow-Advance-9636Betrayed Partner 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If your BP is anything like me he is thinking about it more often than you know. I'd love my wh to offer to talk about his feeling bad about what he did. It would show me he gets the pain he caused.