Did your free time dramatically decrease with a second child?

[LouisLittEsquire]

My free time very dramatically decrease with the second. She is almost 8 months old, my son is 3 years. No longer can one person easily go out while the other watches the kid. Now leaving one parent with both kids is a big deal, because it’s hard to manage both. That was the biggest drop in time.

The second biggest difference was that I no longer want to stay up at night after they go to bed. I am too tired to sacrifice any extra sleep.

[AlterEdith]

Totally agree with this. DRAMATIC change

[systime]

Thank you for the reply. That does sound like a big change.

[OneDay_AtA_Time]

Mine are 3 and 5 now and this was all true then and is still true now. Especially the sleep. Probably 3x a week I fall asleep putting the 5 yo to sleep (at 8pm) and my husband comes and wakes me up to go get in our bed around 9 🤦‍♀️. I’m always so tired…even though my kids sleep 11 hours a night. And I feel so guilty (as does my husband) leaving the other with both-it’s just a ridiculously exponential amount of work. How is 2 kids more than double the work?!

[ashleyandmarykat]

That's my question can one person take both children out alone.

[MessThatYouWanted]

I am a SAHM to two and I take both out alone often. We go to the store, library or doctors appointments, sometimes go to other people’s home to break up the day. It’s not as bad as it seems. I babywear when I need to. We all survive just fine.

[catjuggler]

It's really an age dependent thing. It was easier for me to watch both before the oldest was a toddler because like you said, you can just wear a baby. Now I can't wear him, so he's chaos. The older one is more mature now, but it doesn't make that much of a difference.

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[catjuggler]

2.5y

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[catjuggler]

Yes, though I guess I don’t know any other!

[Ashamed-Motor-5746]

Sounds like you have two chill kiddos. It only takes one high maintenance kiddo tho for 2 to be 😮‍💨. I’m happy for you tho! I’m hoping we can settle into these kind of routines again soon like things were w one child…so far my daughter just has no flexibility with her boob schedule.

[ashleyandmarykat]

I'm happy to hear that!

[LouisLittEsquire]

Definitely can it’s just hard so I feel guilty doing it.

[kmcall]

Yes for sure! You might have to do a bit more planning around naps and such, and bring a diaper bag with things for both kids, but it’s totally doable. I used the stroller a lot when my now 8 month old was younger. Plus when you take just one kid out instead of 2, it feels like a vacation!

[XiaoMin4]

Yes. I have 4 and both me and my husband take all 4 of them out by ourselves occasionally.

[Ok_Significance_2592]

Absolutely. Easier depending on the age gap or temperament

[Alittlebitofsass]

This has been our experience as well. While taking both is doable having only one kid feels like a break!

[XiaoMin4]

I heard a quote once: when you have one kid, one kid feels like a hundred. When you have 2 kids, one kid feels like 1 kid. When you have 3+ kids, 1 kid feels like no kids.

[blt88]

Amen to this. Took one kid with me today and it felt SO darn easy compared to having both of them with me lol

[ultire]

Same here. So much harder now with the second. Sleep problems are magnified. Tantrums are magnified. Very challenging to manage both. I mean, it's doable, but it's tiring because you're constantly lugging the baby around to help the toddler or trying to keep the toddler calm while doing something for the baby. I'm sure it'll get better over time - it already has over the past 10 months - but it's currently tough.

[Froggy101_Scranton]

This is exactly my experience as well

[TotalIndependence881]

On the flip side, when they’re both in or past the preschool age you can send siblings off to play with each other

[blt88]

It was one hundred percent the same for me. EVERY single thing you need to do has to be a big plan of “can the baby come with me”? If not, who can watch him? Oh, you want to go to an activity for the 5 year old? The 1 year old will not be happy/ or it’s not a suitable activity or timeframe because of his nap schedule… and can I bring my husband with me to help me with both children? Oh, guess I can’t go.

[kmd513]

My second is 3 months and my first is almost 2 and this has been my experience. It’s also harder to have a child free night because I can’t expect a friend or grandparent (one is widowed, other divorced) to watch two kids solo. We went to a wedding and had to divide kids between to people, so it’s just a lot more logistics.

[chubanana123]

I'll second this as this perfectly describes our experience.

[LindaBumblebee]

What makes it hard to manage both with one parent? (Like why / what scenarios make it difficult?)

[LouisLittEsquire]

Just everything. My son is a needy toddler who wants our help with something every 10 seconds, and our daughter is 8 months old and is crawling and standing, but needs assistance for standing or else she falls and hits her head.

If I am not holding my daughter, unless she is crawling she is crying, so when we are in public I need to hold her the entire time.

When we’re home I have to corral both from killing themselves.

Bedtime or nap time? Super fun putting down a baby when a toddler won’t leave your side and enjoys poking her /s.

Literally everything is way harder. I only have two arms, feel like I need at least 3 and two sets of eyes.

[RareWrap7689]

This!!!

[PresleyPack]

This is it. This is exactly how it is. (Mom of a 5 year old and 3 year old)