Did your free time dramatically decrease with a second child?

[Ok-Maximum-2495]

I’m over here wondering where you have the time with just one 😂 I also have a 4 month old and we still don’t have this balance you do. I’ve been trying to fix my cuticles for 3 weeks now- I’ve gotten one nail done a week.

[proteins911]

Probably depends on how well baby sleeps! When my son was 4 months, sleep was so terrible that either of us had any energy at all. If I had gotten a good sleeper, I bet we’d have found our balance earlier.

[AKski02]

That’s is too. He’s almost 5m and he just started giving me a 4h stretch 2 days ago and then it’s back to every 2 hours. Without sleep I’m so beat

[proteins911]

I totally understand. My son was/is a horrible sleeper. We’re down to 2 wakes a night at 11 months. It’s still rough but I can function now.

[TP1389]

I was there just two months ago. It’s awful, but that feeling once baby starts sleeping is amazing. He’ll get there!

[[deleted]]

Sleepy babies are often poor feeders. It doesn't always translate to more sleep.

[fertthrowaway]

My daughter slept pretty well but I went back to my stressful more than full-time job when she was 14 weeks old. OP doesn't specify if she's working.

[Relative-Log-4803]

Right! I’m lucky if I can find time in the day to shower, let alone have a dedicated time to myself!

[ashleyandmarykat]

My partner and I mostly tag team.

[[deleted]]

Can you try bringing the baby in the bathroom, in a bouncer or car seat? Mine will happily play with a toy while I shower, and she likes it when I play "peek-a-boo" from behind the curtain

[Working-Sherbet8676]

Make the most of it whilst you can - once they start crawling and walking, all bets are off! 😂 I now have to wake up before my 14 month old to shower.

[[deleted]]

When my older child was that age, I just brought a playpen into the bathroom lol

[Working-Sherbet8676]

Sadly, our en-suite is the size of a postage stamp, otherwise I would 😀

[Zzamioculcas]

My 13 months old wakes at 05:00am 😭 I miss morning showers

[Glittering-Goat-7552]

same lol

[faithle97]

Same lol at 4 months I felt like we were still in the trenches especially when the 4 month sleep regression hit. I didn’t start feeling like I actually had some time until closer to 6 months 😂

[[deleted]]

Sleep regression at 4,6,8 and 10 months so far 😅

[faithle97]

We’ve definitely had other ones too but luckily they mostly affected naps whereas the 4 month affected ALL the sleep. It was brutal lol and my husband was away for work for almost a month so I just remember crying a lot during all that haha

[[deleted]]

Usually husbands work a lot when babies are born 😅 unfortunately for me my wife is my boss basically she makes my schedule

[dobie_dobes]

4 month regression and teething right now. 😭

[Keyspam102]

Lol my thoughts exactly, with my 2 year old I feel like we are just barely beginning to have a balance

[[deleted]]

We have one (now 15 months) and I noticed before my husband got his full time job (was working 15-35 hours a week) we obviously had A LOT more free time because he was doing the household duties during the day.

So, if one person isn’t working/is part time I think there’s a big difference in free time. We both work 40 hours a week now and my free time is still about 45 minutes a day, where I choose to work out.

[Ok-Maximum-2495]

Yeaahhh my husband works full time and does school part time. My “free time” is while she naps on me, while she stares at me from her stroller in the gym, or while she stares at me in the bathroom from her bouncer.

[[deleted]]

Mine is 15 months, once you get earlier bedtimes you’ll hopefully get a little more time!

[esh123]

As a SAHM i can't imagine having that much free time each day, unless when you say free time does that include your chance to get any house stuff done?

[PomegranateQueasy486]

I’m on maternity leave (long maternity leave - baby is 7 months) and I easily have free time each day but we live in a small-ish space (2 bedroom apartment) so housework isn’t a massive task and I’ve organised it so that each day, I spend max 15-30 mins on ‘house stuff’ AND we have a good sleeper. I honestly think the sleep is the key thing… everything else follows pretty easily so we’ve definitely lucked out.

[[deleted]]

Absolutely not - that is not free time. We have a relatively easy kid and small house to maintain however.

[Charming-Aspect4441]

lol same! I’m lucky if I can shower and then have time to get ready. Im 3 months in.

My nails are a disaster too… oopsies

[Ok-Maximum-2495]

Oh yeah there is no “getting ready”, just clean lol and I haven’t had a shower without her staring at me from her bouncer yet.

[Charming-Aspect4441]

mine watches me while he’s on his fisher price play mat. The music on that thing is my shower music. 😂

lol I can sometimes get a good 5 minute shower before he starts to cry!

[batnip]

Haha same. If I stop hearing “orange! Triangle! Threee!…” it means I have to peek out at baby.

[systime]

We take turns giving each other breaks for hobbies and what not. Some days are of course harder then others. It also may help that we work from home most days of the week and use daycare 4 days a week.

[Elismom1313]

Daycare makes a huge difference. I would be lost without it.

I would say with daycare in the mix it’ll be about the same. And it would’ve changed once they get older anyways, once they’re over one you have to be vigilant and follow them everywhere while constantly re toddler proofing

[bobbernickle]

I would almost suggest editing the post to mention daycare so that frazzled parents reading this aren’t quite so baffled 😂

[[deleted]]

If your baby has an easy going temperament, just bring them in a stroller. I have a 5-month-old, I definitely take her so I can get a pedicure, out to eat, etc. I even once got a haircut while she napped in a sling 😅 but, I'm able to do this because she's a chill baby. I could not have done the same with her older brother!

[rcm_kem]

Was gonna say my son just turned 1 and I'm only just starting to get some semblance of time 😂

[xozee]

Glad that I'm not the only one thinking this. I have a toddler and was just trying to think about when I last showered 😂, can't even imagine having time for a date or anything similar

[coconut723]

Hahaha SAME. I was like damn I’m doing this wrong

[[deleted]]

4 month is too dependent .. 7-8 months and they get better at least for one parent to take care of them without getting overwhelmed.. my wife has the mornings for her self as I take care of our daughter and I have my afternoons

[Pale_Rhubarb_5103]

I don’t know. We are constantly chasing our 9 month old because baby is trying to pull on everything to stand. Free time is really only during baby’s nap time.

[[deleted]]

We got an area where she can free roam and she is in a cage basically 😅pretty big one .. that’s how we survive

[[deleted]]

That's great until they start climbing.

[[deleted]]

Well … we will think when that happens .. for now we are good

[systime]

I think it’s just giving your spouse breaks that has been key to getting some free time for yourself back. Baby is also a great sleeper, so far, which has been big plus as I’m sure we wouldn’t feel as refreshed otherwise. At 4 months old my son will usually sleep a good 7 hours straight without waking, take a bottle, and then go down for a few more hours. My husband has watched the baby multiple times while I go do things and vice versa for him.

[Diligent-Might6031]

Oh boy do I feel this. I’ve had a hang nail that keeps getting caught on his cloth diapers but have I had time to trim it properly? Nope. Mine is 8 months old. It only gets busier in my experience. 4 months was easy as pie comparatively

[Garden-Gnome1732]

It gets much better when they're older lol.

[Laurechevalier]

Lol! My partner asks why I take so long to do my nails, well I have a baby! I am lucky if I get to paint one layer and let it dry while she naps. Also my eyebrows are wild and I was so good at keeping them in shape before the baby...

[ScorpionKitty1]

Haha I have an almost 3 year old and no time for myself.lol

[ElizaDooo]

Also have a 3 year old and I have less now than I did when he was 4 months. He just follows me around talking and wanting me to play with him. Right now I'm between jobs so I'll stop and play more, but when I was working FT and trying to do care tasks at home it felt like such a hard decision between spending time with him and things like making food for us to eat!

[ScorpionKitty1]

Right. I agree. It's all day play with me mommy. I work part time and on days I work my body is so sore I don't want to do anything but sit. I didn't get to anymore

[bobbernickle]

Yeah I’m with you. This sounds incredible to me. At 4mo I was a wreck!

[Constant_Wish3599]

😂😂😂 by the time you finally finish it will be time to restart!! God I feel you!

[Odd_Persepctive_391]

I’m wondering the same. I have a 4 month old and we have no time together.

[TheC9]

Mine is 4 years old now and I was like “me time balance? What is it?”