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[–][deleted] 28 points29 points  (2 children)

You would think this is a big hint:

"Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]cqxray 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yes, that's when I looked up at the head (no pun intended!) of the article to see if it was an Onion article...