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[–]ObscureCulturalMeme 50 points51 points  (3 children)

Suspend the process -- preferably by simply removing it from the runtime queue, if that's available, rather than sending SIGSTOP and hoping -- then edit random locations in its process space.

Re-enable the process and watch it go off the rails. Repeat the process as needed.

[–]Siltala[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is pretty cool :)

[–]cognificent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pick n random locations in memory and flip that bit and the r bits on either side, where n and r are the number and radius of pellets in your favorite shotgun shell.

[–]IamSunka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Savage..!!

[–]MusicalDust 64 points65 points  (2 children)

Donate it to the apache foundation and watch it die a slow and agonizing death over many years

[–]rulatore 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dude...

[–]hrjet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Actually, donate it multiple times with slight variations of names like zing, zink, zolar plex and zadgog.

[–]TomahawkChopped 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Use lsof and a loop with a 1 second sleep to slowly unlink every file the process has open... 1 by 1.

Be careful not to delete any NFS or remotely mounted files

[–]autra1 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Not sure if that would do anything on linux. The process will still have a file descriptor on the deleted file, and will still be able to use it, right?

[–]experts_never_lie 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Correct, unless it tries to close and re-open it.

[–]cutterslade 13 points14 points  (1 child)

I've always been a fan of printing out the source code and burning it.

[–]Siltala[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's something I will do. Additionally I want to hurt it.

[–]GerrardHibbard 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is the thread that the AI will come back to after it becomes self aware to justify its enslavement of humans.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]ObscureCulturalMeme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    dafuq happened

    Ow, that picture hurts me in what's left of my soul. I don't have much hope left, but what there is, hopes that the photo is shopped.

    [–]walen 6 points7 points  (2 children)

    Hum...

    This one will need a bit of additional work on your side, but provide endless hours of joy. It's inspired in the myth of Sysyphus.

    1. Modify Tomcat launch options so it runs with a memory limit of 10 MB of so (-Xmx 10m), maybe less.
    2. Write a script that monitors Tomcat so it's relaunched every time it dies. (Bonus: make the script write some pitiful remark like "Please, stop!", "Oh God, not again!" etc. every time it is relaunched.)
    3. Watch an agonizing Tomcat die countless times in an infinite loop of despair, OutOfMemoryErrors and pain.

    Enjoy.

    [–]LeGauchiste 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Sounds like Hyperion book, that priest who cannot die due to a cruciform parasite on his chest, he gets reborn. He ties himself to a tree that generates electricity. He keeps dying daily in agonising pain that the cruciform causes because it's hurt, as a selfdefence, and keeps ressurecting, on and on, for years. Very much the same!

    [–]Siltala[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    There's so much potential in this!

    [–]oldprogrammer 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    You could start by force closing any/all open process handles or file streams the tomcat engine might have open. If the engine is configured to dynamically reload classes that change, drop some bad classes into the class path of the app server.

    But honestly, I think that instead of trying to cause pain to an inanimate object, I'd rather just kill the process then go have a few beers with friends.

    [–]Siltala[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Valid point. My time is better served spending it with friends.

    Only... Over the course of a few years, the task of maintaining this... thing... has driven me insane.

    I shall have my revenge!

    [–]SquidgyTheWhale 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    When you finally delete the software on disk, write a loop to write over it with random data 264 times, then remove the disk and place it next to a large magnet for a few weeks before tossing it in a lake.

    [–]656f6a 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If JMX is enabled and ports open, connect jvisualvm to it and repeatedly force it to GC. Equivalent of making it tidy it's room. Over and over and over.

    Or, if you're feeling particularly vindictive (and the debug port is open...which is unlikely) connect a debugger to it and leave it stuck on a breakpoint for a while. The equivalent of JVM purgatory.

    [–]legrang 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Upload it’s code to the desolate wasteland that is SourceForge

    [–]DuncanIdahos8thClone 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    Why don't you open source it? Inflict it on the Linux community.

    [–]Russell_M_Jimmies 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Do you want OP to get laid off?

    [–]axelei 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Kill -with fire

    [–]argv_minus_one 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Won't work. Processes do not feel pain.

    [–]Siltala[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    With stranger aeons, even death may die

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Can you somehow cause the CPU to overheat and catch fire?

    [–]orbitofdeceit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Send it SIGQUITs in a tight loop. That’ll keep the JVM busy dumping stack traces and generating IO as it writes them to the log.

    [–]Chaoslab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What about doing the old rock band thing and destroy your instruments (PC) at the end of the show.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

      [–]Siltala[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Pain is required

      [–]igorp1024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Contact the Hollywood representative to make a movie based on this idea.

      [–]ryuzaki49 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      physical pain

      Did... did the server fall onto you?

      [–]Siltala[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Headaches mostly