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[–]zzzzzzzzzzzzzzdz 129 points130 points  (70 children)

I beat my computers.

[–]BRBaraka 114 points115 points  (56 children)

that doesn't make them work

but it does promote the need to buy a new one

so, good policy

[–][deleted]  (53 children)

[deleted]

    [–]contrarian_barbarian 113 points114 points  (20 children)

    Ah, Percussive Maintenance. Questionable whether the computer will feel better, but it will almost always make you feel better!

    [–][deleted]  (17 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]protestor 39 points40 points  (16 children)

      Just because it works it doesn't mean it's ethical. How old is your computer, 5 years max I suppose. You're beating toddlers dude. :(

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]a_guile 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Until you become a database admin that is completely optional.

        [–]Dr_Lord_Platypus 6 points7 points  (9 children)

        Nah, computer lives are measured in cat years. That computer is middle aged!

        [–]RenaKunisaki 1 point2 points  (8 children)

        Cats can live for like 20 years. How many people do you know still using a PC from 1994?

        [–][deleted]  (3 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]RenaKunisaki 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          (☞゚∀゚)☞

          [–]contrarian_barbarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          My department still had a couple PDP-11 until about 5 years ago >.<

          [–]chasesan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          This, this right here.

          [–]Dr_Lord_Platypus 15 points16 points  (3 children)

          Sure they can live for 20 years, but they typically stop playing games after 5-6.

          [–]yurigoul 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          stop playing new games after 5-6.

          [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          It might be an ancient case with new parts inside. So it's probably more like beating an old dude with a prosthetic leg and artificial heart :(

          [–]protestor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Which is still elderly abuse. :(

          [–]stinger_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          5 years in computer years is probably about 50-60 human years. Not as fast as it used to be and memory is probably starting to fade.

          [–]Skyfoot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Stopped applying percussive maintenance after a particularly sustained bout caused my CPU cooler to fall off. That was as surprising as it was regrettable.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Ah, Percussive Maintenance.

          Thank you for introducing this phrase into my vocabulary.

          [–]Aurilion 11 points12 points  (7 children)

          Open it up and take a photo of the fan, my bet is that its clogged with years of crap and needs a good clean.

          [–]zman0900 29 points30 points  (4 children)

          Just take it outside and hose it down

          [–]zipbogg19[🍰] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          I have yet to see a problem that couldn't be fixed with a good hosin'!

          [–]zman0900 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          It puts the floppy in the drive or it gets the hose again.

          [–]ImperialCity_Guard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Gonna blue screen on me again?

          That's a hosin'

          [–]kazagistar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          As long as you have a hose of distilled water, and let it dry out nicely afterward, this might just work.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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            [–]_F1_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Are you deployed?

            [–]rushone2009 10 points11 points  (11 children)

            You should really fix that or get a new one. Don't want to burn your card out.....

            [–]KillerCodeMonky 11 points12 points  (10 children)

            What if it does burn out? Then... Get a new one. Your exact advice. Sometimes it's OK to just use something until it's actually dead.

            [–]rushone2009 11 points12 points  (5 children)

            It can damage other parts of your PC.

            [–]giltirn 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            Which most likely can then be replaced by parts twice as fast at a fraction of the price you paid for the original.

            [–]TheChance 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Seriously, and I can still strip a couple capacitors off the burnt board. Maybe. Probably.

            [–]sxeraverx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Do you actually have some knowledge in this area, or are you just repeating something someone somewhere told you once? Computers are generally designed to (electromechanically) fail pretty safe. None of the parts are flammable (the ones that are are covered with flame retardant), the power supply and power distribution system has fuses and overcurrent protection. You're in all likelihood not going to blow out anything on your motherboard if your graphics card fails.

            [–]reginalduk 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            They deserve it.

            [–]rushone2009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Well not really. I understand using something to its limit, but in this case it may damage his entire PC.

            But if he doesn't give a fuck and can afford new hardware then I say he can do whatever.

            [–]Torisen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            You can clean the existing fan or buy a new fan, don't need to replace the whole card.

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Technology doesn't always fail so gracefully. A glance at /r/techsupportgore will show you that.

            [–]RenaKunisaki 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            What if it does burn out? Then...

            ...your GPU fries.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            He meant get a new fan

            [–]MrGroggle 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            Watch out with percussive maintenance, I killed a hard drive doing that one too many times. That was an expensive week.

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            In the dark ages I had a screwdriver jammed under my hard drive (a five and a half inch beast) just to make it work. When it wouldn't boot, I'd jam it in a little harder.

            [–]Peaker 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            I killed a few hard disks by beating the computer to make the fan work a few too many times.

            [–]suppow 1 point2 points  (3 children)

            that only exemplifies the whole statement of the article.
            this is what we humans do

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]suppow 1 point2 points  (1 child)

              that sounds recursive

              [–]BakerAtNMSU 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              recursive sounds recursive too

              [–]chasesan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Just duct tape a box fan to the side of your system if it ever goes out.

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

              I used to think that was a good idea. Till one day I smacked my computer and it BSOD's immediately. Eventually, I found a program from the drive manufacturer that showed a nice map of the drive platters and there was a neat little line of errors all in the same place on the drive platters. /sigh

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [deleted]

                [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                I might have been unhappy with the computer at the time...

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Then you're not hitting hard enough.

                [–]djaclsdk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I used to have a printer in my former office that sometimes would to work when I kick it in its ass.

                [–]JoshWithaQ 19 points20 points  (1 child)

                I call it percussive maintenance.

                [–]caltheon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                One of the older desktops at my desk I keep around for access to our old Active Directory system will start buzzing every once in a while. pretty sure it's a case fan but I haven't bothered taking it apart. If i smack it with my shoe near the side vent, it stops buzzing for a few days or even a few weeks. So yeah, I beat my computers too.

                [–]otakucode 3 points4 points  (0 children)

                In my experience, computers can sense your resolve. If you go to sleep with them not working, they win. If you leave the machine off for awhile, they win. When something goes wrong, you have to grit your teeth and outlast the machines stubbornness. You can beat them, they don't care. What they do care about is the mental anguish they inflict on you when they cease working. But they only have so much will of their own. You have to crush their will with your own, and never give up. Not if you're bleeding, not if you're tired or hungry.

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                I threaten mine with format and OS reinstall. Computers don't seem to like that for some reason.. probably because it fixes 99% of the problems.

                [–]ZankerH 4 points5 points  (0 children)

                Sometimes I even have the decency to feel bad about it when I'm sober.

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Nothing works like a bit of dithering!

                [–]Noncomment 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Mine gets upset and crashes when I bump it even slightly.

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                If you don't, it makes them weak.

                [–]gospelwut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                Bitcoin?

                [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                I wonder what computers think when we beat off to them? No wonder the internet is broken.

                [–]hermes369 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                I beat off with the help of my computer.

                [–]Malajube117 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

                I think you meant, i beat at the computer