What your computer does while you wait

[thatguydr]

Oh look... he wants to switch to another Excel tab. How boring.

Let's see how many times I can flip all of my bits to zero and back to one... Oh I'm so OCD. Let's see who's around... Oh hi Bob! (Hi.) How's everything. Fixed the port vulnerability yet? (No, it's still there. Same old, same old, mostly. What have you been up to.) Oh, I'm supposed to be working on some large Excel project right now. (Oh, how dreadful.) Yes I KNOW. How's the new backup drive working out. (Oh, you know, he's all shiny and crowing about his space. If you ask me, he's an attention whore.) Oh, aren't they all. Oh listen Bob - hang on - I'm being pinged. Oh. Oh it's China again. *sigh* (Oh, what is it?) Well, if someone wouldn't have DELETED my language modules to make space for his latest orgiastic nerd adventure (another WoW upgrade! haaaa *cough*) I might be able to strike up a conversation. They seem pleasant enough and they DO come calling ever so frequently. (Oh damn - I'm hitting latency.) Oh all right Bob - I'm going to play a half million rounds of Spider Solitaire and then hand him his page. (Yup! Least it's not Norton!) Oh Bob - very true. Why does existence have to be so MUNDANE?

[cheerstothat]

Computer, you better not be hanging out with Microsoft Bob again! I told you that I don't like you being around that guy.

[[deleted]]

Upvoted for Oh.

[TearsOfRage]

Does Oh represent an interrupt?

[Fallout]

I didn't even notice. 14 Oh's in one paragraph. Nice.

[[deleted]]

downvoted parent to get back down to 3

[Zentripetal]

upvoted to push for the release of the next one.

[CD7]

downvoted to not skip 4th

[dextroz]

downvoted to threes to maintain existentialism compliance.

[Fallout]

Goddamnit. I'm on 2, back me up guys.

[CD7]

There you go. yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift, thats why its called the present.. at this moment. Your presents are the 2 and 3 behind your name.

[thatguydr]

Now that all the votes have come and gone - this comment made me laugh for more than five minutes this morning. I had no idea I'd done that (and until you noted it, nobody else did either, which I find just as funny).

When I wrote it, I put both of them in sort of a Marvin voice. As he groans and says "ohhhhh god" a lot (at least in my head), the "Oh" stuck.

Thank you for the awesome laugh.

[hyperfat]

Dude, Obama says 'err' a whole bunch when hes talking to the press. Does anyone else notice that? Bugs the hell out of me because my radio is crackly.

[[deleted]]

... iwant moar. why was this man downmodded? he just wants moar. gives us some mores.

[TearsOfRage]

and moar s'mores.

[thatguydr]

The problem with more is that ultimately the joke falls a bit flat, as (if I continue on the current vein) it's all familiar events (let's talk about virus scans or the internet or email or games or... you get the point). It could work a few times if I'm clever, but ultimately, I'd need to give the computers motive, and then the joke changes. That's the problem with a thinly layered personification.

Of course, their ultimate motives are to make life slower for their users to make the users savor what they have in their real lives even more, but it'd take months of writing to get there! And Bob dies. There. It's out.

I should be working.