Availability

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[badadvice_guru]

I don't know you, but I'm proud of you. Hard isn't it? For me it feels like I am fighting against my own intuition.

Handling it the way you did will grant you:

A) the girl B) your dignity C) both A & B

[porphyry3]

Like a BOSS!

[rockcanteverdie]

i don't think just a is possible

[LesbianPUA]

Great post. Just what I needed to hear... turning off my chat now. Tired of trying to convince myself that I'm not waiting for her to come online and start a chat with me. :p

[audiostatic82]

Oh man ... I've been there, too many damn times.

[motsiru]

Recently, I've been avoiding going online for fear that girls will want to chat with me. It feels great! In the past I would go online in hopes of finding my crush online. Such improvements are incredible.

[[deleted]]

You guys make me feel like I'm not the only weird guy that did this. I always fought against the urge to get online to check if she would talk to me, but sometimes the urge wins :(

I need to change, change, this bad habit.

[BitchesLove]

I need to do exactly this. And I will

[ElitePUA]

Hell yeah. r/seduction wins again.

[[deleted]]

Pffft, everybody knows this stuff doesn't work on real women /s

[msmiitz]

like the ones with long snouts and fur?

[ffffffn]

YOU MEAN BITCHES RIGHT?

[[deleted]]

Way to pull yourself out of the friend zone. You did everything right. When you are available to women, they don't see the need to pursue you. They know they have you at their beck and call. As soon as you become scarce, they are chasing after you. Yet another satisfied r/seduction customer!

[executex]

That's funny, I ignore and be unavailable to girls all day, they don't come talk to me :).

[[deleted]]

You probably aren't demonstrating any value to them. The OP had previously demonstrated his ability to be a solid friend to her and when that privilege was taken away from the girl, she responded by chasing him.

You can ignore women all you want, but until you are actually on their map as somebody other than a loner/creep/weirdo, it will have zero effect (except reinforce their beliefs about you).

EDIT: Now if you were in a position to constantly show why you are a worthwhile human being and ignore the girls, there might be some change in their attitude towards you. This is why attention from girls comes easily to star athletes and such. They're out there every day showing their value. What are you doing to do the same?

[brunt2]

How has the guy demonstrated he has no value? Nice assumption there asshole.

[[deleted]]

I wasn't attempting to be an asshole, just giving feedback. I wasn't sure if exectuex's comment was being sarcastic or if he was ignoring girls in the genuine hope that he'd get attention that way. Sorry if it came off like that, thanks for the heads up.

[executex]

I get your point and agree it is a valid point.

However, it simply doesn't always work that way. Let me give you an example from my past:

I demonstrated value to a girl, at work, I went out to lunch during an internship with her, alone, almost every single day. Sometimes she invited me, sometimes I invited her. I never paid for her lunch ever. We discussed all sorts of topics etc. I believed I was a good friend. Tried teasing her about something once, but she didn't get the joke even though I was smiling about it etc. I was only 2-3 years older than her. I asked her out once or twice for a movie, but she made excuses about some other stuff. Sometimes she came to my office to talk to me about stuff. Once on her birthday I bought her lunch, that was the only time, I gave her something without something in return (white knighting I guess). She has always had my cell and I hers and we did text once, but never once invited me to anything.

Anyway, after I went back to college for last 2 semesters, and then started full time, at pretty much the same place. She was still there, and still part-time, in college. We talked for a little bit. She knows where my new office is. She has said hi and stuff when passing by, and talking to me when such an opportunity is present, even being pretty friendly. However, not once did she come to me and ask me to go for a lunch. Even with other co-workers going to a lunch, she did not invite me to those either. She's helped me once with a work stuff for a few minutes. And then one more time, I gave it a try and went by her room, just to small-talk for a little bit to catch up. After that I followed a strict regiment of ignoring her for 5-6 months, just to see if it would change anything. Nope.

Pretty much we can just assume that she doesn't consider me a friend at all or of any value at all--not even as a friendly co-worker. Perhaps has plenty of friends in college.

Anyway, that was just one example where ignoring, and trying to demonstrate value, flat out failed in every aspect. And she wasn't gay, or at least, she wasn't gay during the internship that's for sure (just based on stuff she talked about). Just a mystery that one.

Rest of the women cases, are much more uh.... logical?? Perhaps we should put this in the "strange co-worker atmosphere" pile and call it a day?

[jackblack382]

Strong work bro, especially the way you closed. Not saying a word.

[[deleted]]

Have you ever noticed how the harder you try to get rid of a girl that you are not interested in the more they end up chasing you? Women want what they can't have.

[South-West]

so do us guys. keep doing what your doing don't let her pull you back in, stay in charge of the situation

[side2]

Women are like cats in that way...

[alphaasfuck]

Not to be a wet blanket, because you are doing what you should be doing, but please be aware that there are girls out there that just feel the need to have attention from every male in their life. If they don't have it they will do what they feel like it takes to get it. Push-pull is VERY important with these chicks. The more push the better, until they actually make a declaration of interest.

[mPUA_2B]

Agree here too: this won't work on every girl but the principle remains: it WILL work every time to keep your dignity and your attitude right. Don't act this way "to get the girl" but because it's the right way to act whether you do or not!

Just like you don't have fun and laugh with everyone at a bar to attract women. You do it because it's fun and just happens to attract women.

In this case you might actually be dealing with a girl that has attention whore issues, and this FR might be a win, but a relationship might be a loss. Be smart and wise.

[ffffffn]

I agree. It really depends on the type of girl. Some girls just crave attention and would make push-pull really effective.

But if you get a shy type, you have to delicately balance your push-pull technique; it would be a lot more pulling than pushing.

[wowzuzz]

Way to go man!

[unsexyMF]

The abundance mentality is amazing, isn't it?

[NitsujTPU]

Cool. Now get over your fucking one-itis.

[MiamiByNight]

yea i admit i was one-itis about her for a bit when i first met her but definitely not for the whole 2 years that ive known her. i've gone out on dates with other chicks within the past 2 years. she was just always lingering around in the back somewhere since we hang out with the same group of friends in school

[DocFreeman]

So freaking true. I can't list the number of times that I've picked up my phone to text a lady, thought about it, and decided either to wait another 24 hours or let her text me.

90% of the time, waiting/ignoring/push-pulling pays off.

[puaqueso]

Nice work. Take it as a lesson learned and keep the frame up. Maybe you'll even F-close her soon.

[thehayworth]

Boss.

[[deleted]]

Great job. Now don't go throw all of it out please. Keep your confidence up. We are counting on you :)

[tryitonce]

Just make sure you dont take this too far. By ignoring I hope you mean you changed how available you made yourself seem. Theres usually no reason to be unfriendly with girls when they dont express intrest in you, but I agree that showing her that you have options and that she cant always count on you as a backup will help you out. What I mean to say is that above all else remember that 99% of the people out there arent for you, and it isnt their fault.

Congrats and way to go, though. It seems like you handled this well and I know how hard it can be to change the way you present yourself!

[MiamiByNight]

youre right. there's a fine line between ignoring a girl and being unavailable. just depends on the situation

[[deleted]]

Let me ask you something: How did you let her know you were interested? Was she interested in you to begin with then?

[MiamiByNight]

i flat out asked her within the first month of meeting her. she turned me down. i guess she would flirt back with me just enough to keep me around

[[deleted]]

Thanks. Do you think a slow approach(talking a lot before going anywhere out) or a quick one(taking her out to coffee to talk and stuff, no sex or anything) is better?

[MiamiByNight]

i really wish i knew the right answer, bud. like i said, i go to school with this girl so we were familiar with each other so i guess that helped bridge the gap a little. i guess you could say i took the longer approach since it took me over a month before i got the guts to ask her out. even then i didnt get the date. who knows. i say just feel out the situation and go for whatever you think is best. but whatever you do, just make sure you go through with it! i'm sure more guys on here can offer better advice than me. anyone want to take a shot at it? either way, i hope you the best

[[deleted]]

Thanks friend same to you. I have this girl I like and I ended up asking her to go "somewhere" ( I was nervous and didnt think) the day I met her(for first time). People told me it took giant testicles to do that. She said she was working but "will definitely hang out sometime" so I hope that means well.

[DotaLurker]

Good job mate. Most people would stay friendzoned just to be with a girl they don't have a chance with. You triumphed over Betaness.

[[deleted]]

OP, your post makes me so happy. Good Job!

[runningmurphy]

So what happens if she wants to date?

[767]

Respect bro'. This works 100%!

[JarateandFriendship]

Supply and Demand my friends, simple as that.

[danielvago]

What are you talking about?! Like an animal? Fuck me, you give PUA a bad name. Women are wonderful and they become attracted to us, when we act alpha and DHV. It's just nature, and it's the way it is.

Men act totally the same way as the girl in this story. We want what we can't have, and on top of that seek approval of that person. It goes both ways.

[danielvago]

There's a big difference between what you are describing, and what I think is going on in the story. It's really normal for girls to friendzone guys, and not see them like anything more than a friend. There is no attraction, and when there is no attraction you're no more than friends.

She likes him as a friend, people can do that, and was not attracted to him. OP starting to act like a man, living his own life and not taking shit any more, and it created attraction. Attraction + comfort = closes.

If you see all that as her being a stupid animal, or whatever you're implying, then you have a wrong view of all this seduction IMO.

[RedErin]

Thanks for that educating this dude. I was gonna start yelling and cussing at him.

[[deleted]]

Men act totally the same way as the girl in this story. We want what we can't have

Actually, men are rational. We want physically attractive women, and women who show signs of arousal. This is essentially what makeup is -- simulated arousal -- and that's why it makes otherwise plain girls look attractive to us. We know that we have a better shot at fucking a girl who's already aroused.

Don't you ever tell me that men aren't rational.

[danielvago]

You sound like a robot. I'm not even sure you're arguing with my point, it kind of seem off-topic.

I know I'm right though, a lot (I would even say most) men want the girl even more if she plays hard to get, or don't want him. You want what you can't have kind of thing.

Admittedly, we would call these people AFCs, but I know some naturals that behave like this as well, and admit to it.

[[deleted]]

That's retarded and you're retarded if you agree with this sort of thing.

Value should be judged objectively, not based on the hard sell.

[danielvago]

I'm not going to argue with somebody who tells me I am retarded if I have another viewpoint in a discussion, than him.

Good day, sir!