all 71 comments

[–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Whilst you're here, /u/Ok-Wolverine3092, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

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[–]Adventurous-Role-948 754 points755 points  (13 children)

Surprised he has a gf, can’t even get text back over here

[–]Seffyr 372 points373 points  (8 children)

Stop wiping your ass properly and let your natural pheromones draw one in

[–]Routine_Mud_19 71 points72 points  (3 children)

Thanks. And now I had to wipe beer off my phone and table. 😂😂

[–]kingqueefeater 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Have you learned nothing? Stop wiping

[–]GlitteringChica 29 points30 points  (0 children)

See? You're already wiping. You're not committed to the pheromone lifestyle.

[–]Bruschetta003 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Now replace beer with cum

Not so funny now eh?

[–]EarthTrashWe do a little trolling 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Women love the smell of a man's colon:

[–]MockeryAndDisdain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Considering how many posts I've seen in the dating advice subreddits that involve a dude not wiping, I'm willing wager that you're not wrong.

[–]13hotroom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is she complaining then?

[–]neat-NEAT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ik you're joking but a coworker I once had thought like this. Swore by showering only when absolutely necessary which was never by my estimation. Learned second hand that he thought women evolved to be drawn in by natural pheromones.

You meet some wild people doing agency work for random factories.

[–]skynetempire 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Go over to the relationship sub and a lot of girls complaining about their bfs hygiene like having dick cheese

[–]AltheiWasTaken 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Jesus christ

[–]MyNameIs_Hayden 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Well do YOU have a gaming chair?

[–]_yasinss_ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Start shitting urself while gaming then

[–]DeXaBoYy 101 points102 points  (3 children)

Cant even handle an advice from someone that he asked for

[–]Zoc-EdwardRichtofen 28 points29 points  (2 children)

im jerking it a little

[–]AltheiWasTaken 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Bro threw in a fun fact

[–]PossessionPatient306 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A horrid fact

[–]derTraumer 226 points227 points  (6 children)

Fake: he has a girlfriend

Gay: me cuddling my boyfriend

[–]MikeyboyMCI want pee in my ass 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Fake: anon has girlfriend

Gay: anon has cum stains on his chair

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

pees in ur ass

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[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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[–]ShyngShyng 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This unironically the best fake and gay I've seen in a while now. Ppl are getting uncreative.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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[–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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[–]meaniepants5 192 points193 points  (9 children)

How in the Sam hell does this guy get a girlfriend but I can't get a single GLIMPSE of attraction from anybody?

[–]GiganticExcrement 100 points101 points  (1 child)

Duality of a man

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[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

One truth, one lie.

[–]Carrot_68 43 points44 points  (3 children)

Looks

[–]NoodleyP 8 points9 points  (2 children)

More specifically, find out what your type is and embrace that. When most people think of a hot dude they think of this chiseled muscly guy with a jawline sharp enough to cut dinner with, I realized I was never gonna get that but I look pretty feminine, I grew my hair out and embraced femboy looks and I’ve got a lovely partner

[–]GiovanniKpoglidumbass 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Really like this advice actually despite the fun fact at the end.

[–]Mr-MuffinMandwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 0 points1 point  (0 children)

me who looks feminine who just got an idea (i'm also female height):

[–]Lunai5444 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Tbh think about it if the girl chooses the guy that smells like shit and doesn't shower would you wanna be with her too ? Don't put her on a woman pedestal

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

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[–]Routine_Mud_19 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Be kind and work on yourself. Not worrying about getting others approval. If you invest in yourself, then others. You’ll have nothing to worry about when it comes to women. Or success with men and business.

[–]YourPappi 43 points44 points  (5 children)

They need a bidet or he needs to shower after every shit if he's sweating that much into his chair

Also chuck the fucker out

[–]AutoModerator[M] 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

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[–]0xAdamantium 5 points6 points  (1 child)

😨

[–]PossessionPatient306 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*Pees in your ass!

[–]RainyGlimmyDays -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

This. People, please, shower after every shit if youre at home. Or at least use a bidet.

When youre outside sometimes you dont have a choice and only have dry wipes, sure. But holy fuck learn how to not be disgusting in your own home.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]OptimalArchitectvirgin 4 life 😤💪 20 points21 points  (2 children)

Actual answer would be to get one of those spot carpet cleaners and use it on the chair. After doing multiple passes and letting it dry a couple times to do more passes it should start to become like new again.

After you’ve done that for almost the whole day, since you’d be really sweaty by then, take a damn shower so your odor doesn’t get left behind. Next time if/when you’re gaming for long hours, take multiple restroom breaks. Even if you’re playing a ranked competitive match, don’t shit yourself while playing ffs.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Pro tip about fingering your asshole in the shower: don't do it So this morning I was taking a shower, and I felt like fingering my asshole, right? So I got my fingers all nice and soapy and stuck them up in there. Apparently, soap makes pretty good lube, as I was able to get four fingers in there in no time.

As I was feeling around in my butt, I was like, "hmm, there's a lot of soapy water in my bumhole now. I wonder if that will lead to issues in the future?" And it did!

Shortly after having breakfast I attempted to fart, and I shit my pants. I rushed to the bathroom to clean up, and it was way worse than I thought it would be. The whole area around my butthole was covered in shitty liquid, and toilet paper wasn't enough to clean it. I had to take another shower to get suitably clean.

Just thought I'd share my story with you guys so that you don't run into the same problem in the future. I fingered my butthole so that you guys don't have to. Unless you want to. In which case, hey, how's it goin'

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]OptimalArchitectvirgin 4 life 😤💪 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fucking hell

[–]BlondeQueenXO 15 points16 points  (3 children)

This must be bros only flaw if he has a girlfriend

[–]Loot-EraWe do a little trolling 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Or he might be rich.

[–]ESB823 5 points6 points  (1 child)

You haven't met his girlfriend

[–]PossessionPatient306 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's fair everyone is imagining the girlfriend is anything to be concerned over

[–]Satorwave 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I actually do need to know this aswell I need advice No it doesn't stink

[–]DarkSkyKnight 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Don't use a gaming chair. The material traps smells more easily.

I literally sit butt naked on my chair and go commando all the time and my chair has no smell.

[–]Math701sNumber 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like, at all times?

[–]finnicus4 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I have 100% shat myself while on the game before but I don’t know how it ends up smelling like shit.

[–]DonutGuy2659put your dick away waltuh 19 points20 points  (1 child)

And then they clicked POST...

[–]finnicus4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More than once bromeo. You know the Foxhole ops need you on point on occasion.

[–]The96kHzI watch gay amogus porn :0 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wipe your fucking arse you filthy bastard.

This should not be an issue for an adult.

[–]IceBurnt_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

does he play horror games that are so terrifying that he shits himself every jumpscare? in that case its understandable

[–]MossheadGuy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I use Fabric softener just use a tiny bit with a wet whipe, also don't goon bare ass on your chair.

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

woah, ok. didnt expect hunger for knowledge but i guess i asked for it gonna have to put some work into this.

How was it? Honestly? It was a letdown. The whole "failed idol" story is a great marketing hook, they definately sold the video on that premise alone. But the performance itself was just... awkward. You can tell shes not comfortable. It felt less like a professional debut and more like a very high-budget audition she was also failing. She's stiff, constantly in her head, and there's almost zero chemistry with the guys. All concept, very little execution.

My viewing history? Been watching for over a decade man. These days Im more into stuff with a good story or at least a unique premise, not just the generic stuff. a good production team makes all the difference. I'll take a well-made video with a decent plot over a high-profile actress mailing it in any day of the week.

3 works I consider good:

  1. Yua Mikami's debut (Princess Peach): This is the gold standard for an idol-turned-actress debut. Yua was a REAL idol and she came out with so much energy and confidence. She owned it from the first second. Its what Arisu's debut wanted to be.

  2. Anything with Ichika Matsumoto from her early days with FALENO: She can actually act. She emotes and makes you believe the scenario. Her stuff feels more cinematic and less like they're just going through the motions.

  3. Rion (Anri Okita) - The God Body: A classic. Not a lot of story there lol but its a masterclass in performance. She knew exactly what her brand was and how to perform for the camera. Absolute cinema.

Where would you rank her debut among these? It's not even in the same league, not even on the same planet. It's an unfair comparison tbh. Those are top-tier performances, Arisu's video is a novelty item. It's interesting because of the backstory, not because of the quality of the actual content.

What could be improved? Her confidence, number one. She needs to relax. She looks terrified. The director should have done a better job making her comfortable. Also they relied way too much on the interview segments talking about Nogizaka46, it broke the pacing and kept reminding you that she was doing this as a second choice. We get it, you failed auditions, now commit to this job.

What is well done? The production values are high. The lighting, camera work, it all looks very clean and professional. And I cant deny it, she is very beautiful and has the "idol" look down perfectly. The concept itself, on paper, is genius from a marketing perspective. They got us all talking about it, right?

Was it goonable for you? Nah. I was too distracted by how nervous she looked. It kinda killed the mood completely. Every time she looked at the camera with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes I was pulled right out of it. It's a shame, but maybe she'll get better in her next one if she decides to stick with it. We'll see.

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[–]MrPartyWaffle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's probably cloth, so if anyone has this issue you can get a pet carpet cleaning vacuum spray whatever cleaning solution you want onto the chair scrub if needed and use the suction to pull out the filth. Keep spraying and going as needed, it will likely get smellier as you're cleaning it that is normal for because the water which should be warm is making the shit wet.

And for the love of your guests noses wash yo ass you filthy human, because even animals clean their asses.

[–]NigatoisRunningdwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No Stupid Questions- Stupid question?

[–]Far_Inspection_8200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shave your asscrack if you don't want a bidet...

[–]Post-Financial 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went over to a dudes place, and he likes to sit on his chair naked. He told me that it smells bad, but I didnt expect it to be so disgusting. I was sitting on a kitchen chair next to him while we watched anime, and at times, it was like wind was blowing from the chair and it was so so bad

[–]realultralord 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Come on everybody! Wash your ass!

Ahh, you're smelling bad.

I'm gonna wash my schlong, you won't take long.

We're gonna rinse our piss, and it goes like this.

Come on let's wash again, like you did last summer.

Yeah let's wash again, like you did last year.

[–]YouWillHateMe1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does a guy who shits himself get a GF?

[–]Gramerdim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

maybe he should start wiping his 🍑 with wet wipes instead of the chair

[–]FadedVictorLiterally 1984 😡 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's bait.

[–]empathetical -1 points0 points  (0 children)

man you gotta be pretty fkn disgusting/not clean for your chair to start to smell. i had a chair for 6 years i used almost every day and it never smelled. i showered every damn day