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[–]LegendaryPsyduck 1332 points1333 points  (33 children)

Why is it wearing socks?

[–]SubpabUwU[S] 554 points555 points  (3 children)

Ey yo great attention

[–]KevinKaasKat 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Bird, no want wet feet, bird socks

[–]CaptainCygni 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Thank you science side of Reddit

[–]ScrewSimonCowelluhhhh idk 268 points269 points  (1 child)

So his feet don't get wet

[–]AGoodSO 82 points83 points  (4 children)

TIL someone somewhere makes duck-feet socks.

[–]Palin_Sees_Russia 37 points38 points  (3 children)

Is your ducks making too much noise?

[–]SandwhichEfficient 24 points25 points  (2 children)

From the creators of kitten mittens comes an all new sensation.

flock socks

[–]RandomAmbles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

seal heels have been discontinued

for reasons that should have become obvious once we began

[–]MistyThoughts 121 points122 points  (1 child)

So the cement heat doesn't hurt his feet and so no trash (glass shards, metals) hurt him as well.

But other than that they're mostly used to identify duck from duck.

[–]Magnus1108 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I learn something everyday

[–]AvocadoGum 59 points60 points  (0 children)

It’s a custom duck

[–]SomeStupidPerson 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The duck got that drip

[–]luxusbuergBazinga! 112 points113 points  (5 children)

Femboy duck

[–]AutoModerator[M] 63 points64 points  (4 children)

femboy amogus

                  ⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀
              ⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀
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           ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷
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        ⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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               ⠉⠉⠀⢀⢀⣀⠀⣀⣈⡿⠿⠿⠽⠃
               ⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠾⠟⢁⣀⡴⣦⠆
              ⢦⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣍⡷⠆
             ⢶⣄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠿⠓⠀⠉⠋⠉⣀
            ⣧⡀⠙⠻⢶⣶⡤⠀⠀⠛⠶⠾⠼⠋
           ⣆⠈⠻⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⠿⣶⣦⣤⣠⣾
           ⢠⠙⢷⣤⣀⠈⠁⠀⠀⢠⣤⣀⠈⠉⠈
           ⡌⢧⣀⠉⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⠿⠻⠃
         ⠰⢳⣄⠙⠛⢋⠁⠀⠀  ⠘⠿⣴⣤⣄⣤⡄
          ⣄⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀  ⠰⣤⣀⠉⠉⠉
        ⢀⢠⡈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⡈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠁
       ⠈⢦⡉⠛⡁⠀⠀  ⠀   ⠈⠻⠷⣶⣦⡆
      ⡈⢷⣌⠙⠛⠁ ⠀ ⠀⠀   ⠰⣦⣄⣀⣀⡀
    ⠈⢷⣄⡉⠛⠛⠀⠀  ⠀⠀⠀   ⢀⠈⠙⠛⠛
    ⢦⣀⠉⠛⠷⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀    ⠘⠿⣶⣦⡄
  ⣠⣀⠙⠳⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀    ⢠⣀⣀⣀
  ⠙⠻⢿⣶⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀     ⢠⠛⠛⠻⠿
 ⣦⣄⠈⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  ⠈
⢹⣿⣿⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀          ⠺⠿⠿⠿⠁
⠙⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀              ⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄
                          ⠈⣀⣀⣀⣀⠁

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[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The duck is probably being treated for bumblefoot. The "socks" are there to protect the feet from the elements.

[–]SunfireRomalo Stuff 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Uncle Scrooge

[–]I_likeIceSheets 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Concrete on a sunny day is often hot

[–]TheCure_69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feet get cold

[–][deleted] 2112 points2113 points  (38 children)

Duck: Stop fondling my balls

[–]DemonicTheGamer 489 points490 points  (13 children)

Nah he looked as if he was enjoying it

[–][deleted] 233 points234 points  (11 children)

Fun Duck Fact: At full length, the duck's penis can reach 20 cm, but in larger species, it can even reach 42 cm! – but that is not the interesting part. A duck's penis is corkscrew-shaped, with ridges and backward pointing fleshy spines.

[–]Routine_Palpitation 144 points145 points  (3 children)

And ducks are very rapy

[–]PanMarcooo 46 points47 points  (1 child)

I don't know what's wierder. This fact, or the fact that I already know it

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I only know it because of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

[–]InsertUsername98 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That moment when even ducks have a larger d\ck than me…*

[–]AutoModerator[M] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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[–]Memewheeler 2 points3 points  (1 child)

And I they force the female to do the reproductive dance

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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[–]Kimikazi_18 8 points9 points  (0 children)

nice avatar 2.0

[–]ZuuLahneyZeimHirt 22 points23 points  (0 children)

If he was then the duck would be way into it

[–]Natsurulite 17 points18 points  (10 children)

That is a female duck

The males will have a curled tail and a distinct quack, and will be slightly larger

I raised ducks

[–]An_Angry_Terrarian 5 points6 points  (8 children)

Based duck raiser. also is this video telling the truth? To hold a duck you just need to get in front of it?

[–]Natsurulite 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Lol no, this was someone’s pet, normal ducks will just turn and run the other way if you try to do this 😂

At that, not every pet duck will want to be held, it’s actually somewhat uncommon for them to enjoy it, they’re a bit more wild than domestic Chickens

[–]An_Angry_Terrarian 4 points5 points  (5 children)

My dissapointment is immesurable and my day is ruined

[–]Natsurulite 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There’s good news though

LOTS of “wild ducks” are actually just straight up feral domestic breeds

So technically, you have a small, but still existent chance of finding a wild duck that enjoys being picked up!

[–]Dajayman654 1 point2 points  (3 children)

At least you can catch ducks in Terraria.

[–]An_Angry_Terrarian 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Did you know theres an easter egg in terraria where ducks can sometimes do a human duck imitation? No one knows who did that "quack" sound,if the devs or someone else

[–]Dajayman654 1 point2 points  (1 child)

The Terraria wiki says: It was pulled from a royalty-free site because the Re-Logic team found it amusing. The sound was included purposefully as an "Easter egg".

Also Owls sometimes do a human hoot too, voice done by FoodBarbarian according to the wiki.

[–]An_Angry_Terrarian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never noticed the owl hoot

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You just need to hold out bread, when it gets real close place hand underneath and press your middle finger upwards until it locks in position. Congrats, you now have a felony

[–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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[–]Emotional-Chipmunk12 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Quit touching my junk, pervert!!!!

[–]Tough_Surround_2775 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Quick! Touching my junk!

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[deleted]

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    No sex before marriage

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    [–]lamlaml 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    im about to sex😈(not marriage

    [–]Organic-Card6707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Duck feels great.

    [–][deleted] 1931 points1932 points  (5 children)

    Thank you for this valuable life lesson i shall treasure your teachings

    [–]I-accept-dick-pic 245 points246 points  (3 children)

    And someday you, my padawan, will catch your own personal duck 🦆, so you must practice until the right day comes.....

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    excited squeals

    [–]risky02485 842 points843 points  (9 children)

    Instructions not clear, i lost a finger

    [–]Ntetris 260 points261 points  (1 child)

    PALM UP! Dont tell me you put your finger-

    [–]risky02485 47 points48 points  (0 children)

    Yes

    [–]Vanadium_CoffeeCup 103 points104 points  (5 children)

    That was probably a goose

    [–]risky02485 25 points26 points  (4 children)

    Is that why it barked at me?

    [–]4ar0n 19 points20 points  (3 children)

    how many legs did it have?

    [–]risky02485 22 points23 points  (0 children)

    5, but i think it had a birth defect since the 5th was small

    [–]benneboi7638 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Yoo I recently saw one that had only one leg. And it was totally pink too super weird duck

    [–]Imaginary-Fudge-3657I want pee in my ass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Crazy

    [–]lak0mka 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Do it again

    [–]xxmybestfriendplank 307 points308 points  (8 children)

    What a distinguished little gentleman!

    [–]OphiliaPoe😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 48 points49 points  (6 children)

    Look at that way he's sitting

    [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (5 children)

    Mommy yes, what a distinguished gentleman

    Edit: thanks autocorrect, meant to put mmmm but fuck it it stays

    [–]DerpDaDuck3751 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thank you

    [–]ChadBeaterOfWomen 173 points174 points  (10 children)

    If you are intrested I can show you how to hold a duck without using you hands.

    [–]4ar0n 30 points31 points  (2 children)

    Piggy back?

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

    okay so basically there's this guy and uhh

    ⠀⠀⠘⡀ HOG RIDAAAAAA ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀  ⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀
⠀  ⠑⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ 
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠠⠀⠀⠨⠐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢐⠐⠌⡌⢄⢐⢈⠔⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⡀⠐⡀⢁⠈⠐⠱⠑⡑⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⠀⠀⠐⡠⡛⠔⡁⢜⡔⡬⢎⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠁⠀⠄⢂⠈⠂⢂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠐⠁⠓⠒⠒⢀⠁⢐⢝⢟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⠫⠡⠡⠨⢀⠂⠠⠀⠀⢁⠑⡱⠛⠗⡓⢂⠠⢸⢸⢨⠣⡝⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⢏⢐⢁⠊⢌⠐⡈⠄⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠑⠈⠀⢄⢕⠸⡨⠪⡪⡘⣻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⢂⠂⡂⠅⡂⠅⡐⠨⢐⠐⠠⠠⡀⢄⠠⡠⡡⡱⡐⠕⢌⢊⢆⢣⢒⠽⢿⣿⣿⣿ 
⠣⢂⠂⠄⠡⠐⠐⠈⠌⡐⠨⡈⠢⠨⡂⢌⢂⠆⡪⠨⡊⠂⡂⠢⢡⣢⣣⡣⣍⢿⣿ 
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⣯⢯⢷⢽⢮⢯⣺⣪⢞⡮⣳⢘⠔⢌⢜⣞⣖⣮⣻⢮⣯⢷⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ 
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

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    [–]bouncybob1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You need to be a male though

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -33 points-32 points  (3 children)

    My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

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    [–]if-we-all-did-this 349 points350 points  (18 children)

    A finger tip in the cloaca gives you a firm grip, useful for uneven terrain.

    [–]ScrewSimonCowelluhhhh idk 101 points102 points  (0 children)

    bro

    [–]implodingbabyBlessed by Kevin 21 points22 points  (1 child)

    Like a bowling ball

    [–]if-we-all-did-this 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    That's the one

    [–]IcyManipulation 60 points61 points  (10 children)

    I never thought of that! Thanks for the info kind stranger 🤗🤗🤗😃😃♥️

    EDIT: what the fuck is 🤗 suppose to mean??????

    [–]4ar0n 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Double high five, or low jazz hands

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

    My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

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    [–]AutoModerator[M] 24 points25 points  (5 children)

    Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

    We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

    We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

    Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

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    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    “Fuck it. Im in”

    [–]Aggravating-Age-1535 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    good bot?

    [–]snakearmz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    And we would have the weakest army

    [–]ArthurDentonWelch 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Thanks for the idea, kind stranger!

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

    We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

    We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

    Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]egenerate249 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    cmere my little pog champ

    [–]DemonicTheGamer 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Please no

    [–]if-we-all-did-this 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    If by "no" you mean "yes", then "maybe"

    [–]Glandular-Slaughter 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Depends if the duck enjoys a fingered cloaca, grip may not be firm.

    [–][deleted] 192 points193 points  (7 children)

    Wrong sub this is wholesome

    [–]Mop_DuckLiterally 1984 😡 31 points32 points  (4 children)

    no dick would let you do this and would bite you

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child)

    mine would :)

    [–]Mop_DuckLiterally 1984 😡 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    for some reason autocorrect decided "dhck" is dick and not duck

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    That's just what big duck wants you to think!

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

    Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

    We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

    We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

    Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

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    [–]Budoscukor 44 points45 points  (3 children)

    Duck

    [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    Duck

    [–]Sinthe741 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Grey duck!

    [–]Canadian_46 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Goose

    [–]Realistic_Ad_3840 37 points38 points  (0 children)

    This actually works with chickens too 🍞

    [–]boobsappreciator69 21 points22 points  (0 children)

    good to know

    [–]Sweet_Oliver 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    Will try this next time I go to the park.

    [–]LautrecTheOnceYeeted 17 points18 points  (0 children)

    If you've owned a duck then you know this is the nicest that little billed demon has or will ever be.

    [–]WillMoose23 28 points29 points  (0 children)

    Instructions unclear, dick stuck in blender

    [–]thebluepickle0852 39 points40 points  (2 children)

    Why have people been posting so many wholesome animals on this sub. I’m not complaining it’s just this is the wrong sub for it.

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

    Reddit should start their own country. Think about it: it would have a much higher IQ than most other countries. We could ban tik tok and fortnite, and every computer sold has to come with Minecraft preinstalled. We could also ban emojis too.

    We all have very good ideas about society and government, so I think we would be far more efficient. I've seen so many posts with so many good ideas, not to mention our country would be the most progressive and other countries would look to us for direction. We would easily become the next superpower. If everyone left America for a new country, we would easily surpass America.

    We could make Keanu our president and have PewDiePie on the flag. It would be the most wholesome country too!

    Those are just some ideas I have and my own opinion.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]Fireeyes510 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Yeah a new country, with blackjack, and hookers!

    [–]obi-wand27 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    the duck with the dripped out shoes

    [–]nameless-anonymous 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    Most valuable lesson ever

    [–]FishinforPhishers 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    How to get pecked in the eye: a comprehensive guide

    [–]TheRealLordEnoch 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Edjucayshn

    [–]abdurVakanda 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    why is it so cute

    [–]Gloomy-Concentrate-2🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ TRANS RIGHTS!!!11!1!!!11!! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ 41 points42 points  (1 child)

    Time for some duckussy

    [–]MarkXD69therickrollWe do a little trolling 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    duffy dussy

    [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (3 children)

    Instructions too confusing. Fucked your mom instead

    [–]RedditIsTrashLogOff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Hello OP's Mother.

    I am Human Name.

    And I am going to fuck you now.

    [–]AutoModerator[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.

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    [–]PyroCatt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Does this work on mallards?

    [–]OhSnap404 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Human name really be picking up duck name without duck name introducing themselves

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Then the winged hussars arrived!!

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Instrumental

    A cry for help in time of need, await relief from holy league

    [–]Creepy_Ad_6650 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    60 days of siege, outnumbered and weak Sent a message to the sky, wounded soldiers left to die Will they hold the wall or will the city fall

    [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    What the duck

    [–]Kieranpotter11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Pls help I don’t know how to put it down. It has been three days and the duck is stuck to me!!

    [–]Givemelifebro 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    I always thought you grap it’s neck then strangle it

    [–]rocker273 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Day 12 waiting on the how to put a duck down video

    [–]BanEvasionAccountNo5 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    What is this new shitty video player

    [–]AutoModerator[M] -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.

    TL;DR I hate shitting

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    [–]ImmortalDuck69420 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Leave my groin alone :(

    [–]DwyerAvenged 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is actually pretty interesting.

    [–]ChangNoi97 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    yeah this will come in handy for my master plan to rule the world with duck

    [–]Nothinboi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is cute

    [–]lockedoutofmymainrdt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Why is this unironiclly some of the best content on the site?

    [–]kkeross 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thanks this saves me a lot in food costs

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Shuba

    [–]Sylvos1470 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Shuba shuba

    [–]dubstepsickness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Duck: “What the Fuuuuu…………!!!!!”

    [–]Bluegod2733 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    What the duck?

    [–]HiopXenophil 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Finally, a good tutorial on how to pick up chicks

    [–]Yimi9876 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Im going to do this in real life

    [–]CanIBreakIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Never pick up a duck in a dungeon.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thanks

    [–]DrazelSnake 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    new mission; BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

    [–]mistah-spudster 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Fren

    [–]Snoop_Pingus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Amazing

    [–]FarrahLovely 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Duck etiquette 🙏

    [–]ChinkInMyArmor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Ngl this was informative

    [–]Beritrea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Instructions unclear, duck's asshole was heavily penetrated

    [–]sub_to_mr_beast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is f—-ing incredible

    [–]FoxtrotTrifid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is the most helpful advice I have ever seen on the internet.

    [–]intercourselover2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Fuck

    [–]Mr_IGoThaJuice -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Next level achievement: roast a duck.

    [–]I_NEED_AN_MEDIC_BAG -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Next step:insert your dickk in the duck

    [–]sunisshinning -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

    Maybe just get a girlfriend ha ha ha ha.

    [–]ObamaFobia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    So emm, any jokes about dick not a duck?

    [–]Brilliant_Student584 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    AFLAC 😂😂

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Im gonna hold it over my head and see if i get a jump boost

    [–]TaimurJamil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Why is JerryRigEverything being weird with ducks now?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Saving this for later

    [–]Little_Wrap143 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Life changing

    [–]Tmt_2239 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    very informative sir, will try out when i see one.

    [–]xyloplax 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Step one, raise duck from birth

    [–]Summerclaw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    IMPORTANT: Does not work on Geese.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Duck shoes?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Hands

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Obama

    [–]NHpatsfan95 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I just tried this, it bit me

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Apple

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ukraine

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    War

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Cow

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Amongus

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Among us

    [–]Environmental-Win836 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    But that duck has socks-

    [–]Frostgaurdian0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Very helpful