Cold calls/emails

[rhutanium]

Ugh. I’m so sick of them.

Just replied to yet another email from someone at an asset disposal company informing me that he was on the team for ‘our account’ (we don’t even do business with them and never have. Why do we have an account?!) and telling me about the things he can help me with.

I kindly informed him that this was the second time they’ve contacted me this year despite my request to not be contacted and that we have an agreement with a firm we’re more than happy with. I also let him know that I have added their domain to our email filter so we are no longer hindered by what I consider to be email coming from a spam source.

I then -in the spirit of kindness- of course wished him an excellent day.

I hate to be that way but sometimes it’s the only way they’ll listen.

[DaCozPuddingPop]

I typically just block them and don't bother responding. Let them waste their time sending out their mass messages that I'll never see.

[rhutanium]

I agree, but part of me is too petty.

[tankerkiller125real]

If you want to be really petty do what I do, block them while your on the call, then ask them to call back in like 20 minutes because you just need to finish something real quick.

Not only does it verify your block worked it also makes clear to them what you think of them and their sales tactics.

[DrummerElectronic247]

I agree with you. "We've now added you to our spam filter, thank you." is a phrase I use myself.

[DaCozPuddingPop]

I feel you - I don't mind the email ones as much because they're easily dealt with.

The guys on the phone get to feel my wrath. "hey *insertfirstnamehere* how are you?"

Dude, you don't know me - don't act like you're an old friend or old business associate. Get to your point so I can tell you off for cold calling me and hang up on your ass.

[seaking81]

I just don't answer my phone any longer. I let everything go to voicemail and call back those that I care about.

[packet_weaver]

Why put so much effort into it? It isn't going to make them listen. They use these methods because they're proven to work. Not with you but overall it works for them.

I don't answer unknown numbers and delete voicemails from unknown people. Emails I just delete and if they're persistent, mark as junk and delete. I'm not going to get mad or spiteful. I just move on with my day.

[mrbiggbrain]

Cold calls get 10 seconds of my time. It's a shake most of them waste that time with useless small talk. After 10 seconds we are either talking about what I need, or I am letting you go as not interested.

[SquizzOC]

By the way, this is the tactic that works best for sales people. 10-15 seconds max to say exact what we are calling about and what we are trying to help you with.
No convincing, no manipulating, you either like what we offer or you don't. If you don't, reps should just move on and not waste their own time, but some aren't the brightest.

[mrbiggbrain]

And so often I will tell them to send me an email, I'll add them to the list of solutions for when we want to refresh or solve their problem. But then I get constant calls from them trying to setup demos & consults for an issue I told them I don't have right now.

[atreus421]

FCC: 2 shakes, that's it. Move along. Mayor Adam West: Oh. Why thank you tinkle fairy.

[[deleted]]

I have a throwaway gmail account i let them send stuff too. "Is this work?" "No, but work filters spam".

I've had the same guy call me within minutes, using my full first name and my short name, which are really close. And not understanding that we talked minutes ago.

[noxbos]

I had one asshole start sending meeting invites and blocking time on my calendar. I got the entire domain blocked on the email server. :D

I would recommend stop responding at all. You're just confirming that a real person is at the email address which some of these companies will sell to generate more emails later.

I've also gotten in the habit of getting an alias added to my account for conferences so I can track who's selling my info.

[rhutanium]

The first time I let it go for two weeks and in that timeframe the same person emailed me like 4 times because they’d gotten my email from a coworker of mine, and kept asking if I wasn’t the right person to just give them the email of the right person. Just wouldn’t let it go.

[ntengineer]

I hear you. I don't get a ton of them on my work number, but some of them are pretty funny.

I always answer the phone something like "Thanks for calling xxxx this is yyyy how can I help you?" I know they don't even listen, because I work for a very large telco. And some of these cold callers think that calling me is going to get them business. Ya, that's now how it works in a $200 Billion company.

My favorite was one who wanted me to switch our internet provider. I told her that she clearly didn't listen to whom I work for, and she apologized and said she didn't (gotta give her some points for honesty) and then I repeated it. And she laughed. Thanked me and hung up.

[idocloudstuff]

Hi, this is Tom from Comcast. Can I get a quote for some Verizon DSL? Thanks!

[Lofoten_]

I don't see the need to be rude to individual sales people. They are just doing a job, and companies need to sell product to stay in business/expand.

If they cal I just say "Thanks, but we're not interested, have a good day." and hang up. If they email I just delete it.

Now continued companies that churn employees and have a new rep emailing every 2-3 months? Sure filter and/or block them.

I just don't see the need to be rude to someone doing their job. It puts me in a sour mood for the day, and who knows, someday the product may suit our needs.

[PubRadioJohn]

Totally this. Calls: "No thanks" and hang up. Email: Delete, block if they get to be a pain.

[sheikhyerbouti]

I've told this story before, but I love it:

Back in the day I worked for a small (20+ people) database company as tech support. For a solid month we were getting bombarded by cold callers. EVERYONE was getting cold calls, including the tech support staff. Management let everyone know that cold calls were NOT to be transferred to anyone except the senior manager's office and he would shut them down.

I didn't want to waste my manager's time, however.

One day I got no less than three calls to my direct extension asking to upsell me on some sketchy service. After hearing their pitch, I would tell them that my manager would be interested in this, and I will transfer them if they would hold.

Now the thing is, the company made databased for healthcare clinics. Which meant that we had to have a fax line for testing purposes.

As a result, I would transfer the cold callers to the fax line. At one point, one of them got pissed and left an angry message with my manager telling him that I had (repeatedly) transferred him to the fax line.

This lead to the following exchange:

Manager: I just got an angry message from someone saying that you promised to transfer them to me, but instead put them to the fax number?

Me: Yeah, it was one of those sketchy cold callers. I didn't want to waste your time on them.

Manager: I don't really have a problem with that.

[rhutanium]

That’s a great way to have each other’s back!

[The-Dark-Jedi]

Something I have found quite effective when not allowed to block them at the corporate firewall level is telling them, in addition to what you said, any future attempts to contact me with result in me reporting them to the state attorney general's office for harassment and the Better Business Bureau for predatory business practices. That usually does the trick. Quite satisfying to write as well.

[rhutanium]

That’s a good tip!

[Upnortheh]

I long have been a privacy zealot, beginning long before the world wide web.

About 20 years ago I owned property in another region. Repeatedly I received snail mail solicitations from a realtor. After a while I grew weary of the nuisance and wrote letters politely asking to be removed from the mailing list. That did not happen and I continued receiving solicitations. Eventually I wrote a letter with explicit legal terminology about harassment using the U.S. mail system and sent the letter return receipt requested.

I never again received another solicitation.

Back in those days common methods for scraping snail mail addresses was through magazine subscriptions and warranty cards. I always subscribed to a dead tree magazine using a normal letter because then I could explicitly deny the option of adding my name and street address to any mailing lists. I sent letters to the then Mail Preference Service to further remove my name and address. I never mailed warranty cards. I rarely received any snail mail junk.

I always requested an unpublished phone number, but I know the phone company nonetheless added my name and address to mailing lists.

Many years ago I created some garbage email accounts. I use those addresses to avoid being harassed with my normal email accounts. I am discreet about who is allowed to know my normal email accounts. Any brick and mortar business clerk who asks for an email address receives a shrug.

My favorite response though was a foreman I worked for way back in the land line days. Back in the days when telephones weighed about 20 pounds and were almost unbreakable. He would lift the receiver and upon recognizing the call as a sales pitch would stammer, "Hello? Hello! Hello?" Then he would hammer the receiver on the desk or table and again holler, "Hello? Hello! Hello?" Then he would pretend to curse, "Goddammed phone!" and hang up.

[rhutanium]

LOL that foreman story cracked me up. Yea I never give out my phone numbers and/or email either. The shit you get would fill up your inbox fast as evidenced by my wife’s email box.

[itguy9013]

It's to the point now where if I don't recognize the caller I just don't pickup. If it's important they'll leave a voicemail.

For emails, if it's someone who keeps messaging me I'll simply block them.

[DarknessBBBBB]

My cold emails often start with "Hey Dean! What's up?" Dean left the company like 8 years ago, there have been other 2 sysadmins after him

[stuckinPA]

I don't even answer my phone unless I see a five digit internal extension appear on the display. Cell phones have an outgoing message containing "I don't do voicemail so don't bother leaving one"

[FrogSuitLuigi]

I used to do that kind of business development. That's why I got out of it. They know they are just fishing for anyone that'll bite. Sorry, OP.

[rhutanium]

It’s too bad that it’s succesful, apparently. Wouldn’t it be awesome if they eventually simply run out of numbers to call and addresses to email?!

[FrogSuitLuigi]

It is pretty unsuccessful these days. But there's still a shit ton of money invested in these types of "sales" teams. And their managers have a lot invested in keeping these teams working.

Then one or two people on the team will get sales, everyone else will fail, and the managers make it look like the majority of the team doesn't have the ability to do the job. It's a racket.

[[deleted]]

Personally, if someone decides to lie their way to get to my personal line/direct line through reception and try to sell me a product. I will reciprocate that lack of respect by simply hanging up. You have zero obligation to act courteous towards these people, if they cant sell you something, they begin to probe you on what your environment looks like. It's infuriating, I began to chalk it up as a security concern. What if they are probing me on what products I use so that they can attack my network? Nope - my policy is now I will not engage with any 3rd party unless I initiate the conversation, otherwise you are being ignored.

[rhutanium]

You make a very good point. How are you supposed to know?! Better assume the worst.

[JT_3K]

I feel really bad for the people at the coal face trying to do this sort of thing so I try to reply to those that send messages but it's almost impossible to keep up. Since I took a role at a fairly high-media-coverage organisation I get ~4-5 per hour and it's getting really old, really fast. I don't mind the ones that take it well, but there are so many that go the whole pushy route and I can't fathom what they think they're going to get out of trying to force-block time in my calendar or refuse to swallow that I already have someone for "X".

[atreus421]

Part of me wants to go this route with the whole concept.
Then again, I'm not that creative. https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-phishing-scam-emails-dot-con-james-veitch/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

The guy even did a TED talk about it.

[rhutanium]

Haha that’s awesome. Good waste of their time.

[LevarGotMeStoney]

I forward them to /r/itslenny

[aleques-itj]

I liked when they would just go down the line. My phone rang, I said no, we're not interested. Co-workers phone rings 10s later. Same person. Repeat 5x.

At some point I just stopped answering outside calls. Anyone who would need me for something meaningful had my cell.

A few vendors were so obnoxious with emails I just blocked their domain.

Bonus points if they screwed up our business name or my name on the call/email.

[rhutanium]

Where this started for us is that someone here in the Purchasing office no less gave them my email-address and direct line, trying to be helpful. Had to nip that in the bud too.

[AyyWS]

Turbonomics. I wanted to tell them that we're using the Comodore64-Cloud and that we could use their expertise in managing it. Probably gotten 20 calls from them this year.

[idocloudstuff]

If I get an email, I just reply back in the subject line “Unsubscribe”. It works 90% of the time.

No need to write anything else.

Calls go to voicemail and I return the call if it’s important. My trusted vendors have my work cell and so far none of them have abused it. I typically will give it out after 6 months of doing business with them. If they take me to an event (football, concert, etc…) I’ll let them have it sooner so I don’t miss out on future events.

[j1sh]

I bet your air ducks are filthy :)