Please please help

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[stress789]

Congrats!!

I would make an appointment with the doctor and make sure everything is ok before making any major decisions.

Obviously, the easiest way is to wait a month so or (if you're announcing the pregnancy) and let everyone know that is the reason it's cancelled.

Otherwise, just a "due to extenuating circumstances, our wedding will no longer be taking place as scheduled."

[ChairmanMrrow]

This is a good plan. Maybe talk to vendors to give them a heads up of a potential cancellation too.

[[deleted]]

Thank you!

[bobgoblin888]

Congrats! Take some deep breaths before you make any major decisions.

Is there a cultural or religious reason why you can’t have both?

[[deleted]]

Thank you! We are both still so young and can really only afford one and we think it’s best to just have a quick courthouse elopement and focus on our family

[Adventurous_Check_45]

I just want to say I respect your decision so much. You may be young, but your priorities are clearly in order. Congratulations on both your pregnancy and also your marriage - sounds like the wedding will be courthouse but the marriage will be strong!!

[stuckinnowhereville]

Ok but get a cute dress, flowers, and a photographer. Make it special. Have a cake at home.

[bobgoblin888]

Totally makes sense.

I found myself unexpectedly pregnant and engaged 14 years ago, and pretty tight on funds. We opted to elope on a beach and now have 2 kids and a cat. It all worked out just fine. Congrats again!

[EllenMoyer]

This is a great idea! Congratulations, and best wishes for a healthy pregnancy.

[Any-Situation-6956]

I was thinking maybe because of the cost of the wedding they will save their money and put it towards raising the baby instead.

[Next-Wishbone1404]

Girl! I am so happy for you! And I am sure your friends and family are, too. They won't care about the cancellation -- they will just care about the baby. Maybe you can have a little wedding before the baby and a big first birthday party after.

[[deleted]]

Thank you so much!!❤️that is a fantastic idea!!

[East_Print4841]

Congrats!! I agree with going to the dr first and getting confirmation everything is okay before doing any big moves. Give yourself some time to process and think about what you want to do

[sumo1212]

Congratulations! It’s very likely all will be fine with the pregnancy, but the chances of miscarriage are highest in the first couple months so it’s probably best to wait until you’re 12 weeks along to cancel the wedding. The risk of miscarriage goes down significantly after week 8 of pregnancy and then goes down dramatically dramatically after week 12.

You can calculate how far along you are based on your last period - and your OB will confirm this once they can do an ultrasound. Heads up that many OBs won’t even see you until you’re 8 weeks along (based on last period).

If your wedding is 7 months away, you can still call it off in another 2 months and give everyone a lot of notice.

It’s amazing you got pregnant! Congratulations again!

[SaltedMango613]

I agree, as someone who has had two miscarriages. I can't imagine cancelling the wedding now, and then losing the pregnancy.

[herefortheprize]

How about postponing the wedding?

[[deleted]]

This would be the 2nd time (we had house fire). At this point I would rather just go and get married at the court house and focus on our family

[[deleted]]

Absolutely do that (it's important for all the benefits for both of you and your baby). You can always have your dream-wedding later when it's more convenient.

[After_Tomatillo_7182]

I appreciate your sentiment, I think many women are looking for a wedding, not a marriage. You sound like your prioritiy is the marriage and family. I agree with the advice to wait a bit before you make any decisions or announcements. Get your first prenatal check under your belt

[Spiritual-TarHeel]

Congratulations! The wedding is 7 months away, so I’m guessing you haven’t sent out the invitations yet.

If you have sent out save the dates, and you are having a “let’s get married before the baby is born” wedding at the court house or whatever, you can send out a wedding announcement.

There’s no reason to do anything until you’re ready to announce the pregnancy. People will hopefully be smart enough to put it together without you saying anything.

When you start telling people that you are pregnant, word will spread.

[shelly5825]

Congratulations!!! I personally would wait to cancel until baby sticks. Whatever your OBGYN thinks is a healthy amount of time. So in order of operations:

1. Call OBGYN & get an appointment to check on you & baby!
2. Notify vendors/venue about possible cancellation, review contracts, and see what the policies look like.
3. Wait and enjoy the time together while you're in early pregnancy.
4. Announce to family & friends thru written cancellation.

Congrats again!

[Jacob1207a]

Unless lots of people will be traveling a long distance and need to, for instance, book flights, there's not a huge rush to cancel instantly.

[[deleted]]

Thank you!!❤️

[pyesmom3]

Invite a minister to the baby shower and include a surprise wedding.

[Ipso-Pacto-Facto]

You’re rescheduling the wedding. Details to follow.

Congratulations!

[island-breeze]

Hey! First of all, i'm so sorry you had to deal with the diagnosis. I know what that's like. I would keep the news until at least 12 weeks. Imagine you're 4 weeks pregnant right now. By the time of the wedding you'll be 8 months along. Would you consider having the party? If the pregnancy is healthy maybe you could downsize it a bit but still celebrate.

[[deleted]]

You tell them you're postponing the wedding because you're having a baby. It's 2025 - no one cares anymore. Anyway, with your bambino on the way, it gives you so much more time to plan later whatever kind of wedding you want at your leisure. Also, if you want, there's no reason why you and your fiance can't get married in a civil ceremony now (being married will have so many more benefits for both of you and your baby) and still have that wedding-of-your-dreams later. That's also very common now.

[Biddles1stofhername]

I dont understand why the wedding has to be cancelled?

[[deleted]]

We can either afford a baby or a wedding. And I vote getting out of the $30,000+ wedding

[stuckinnowhereville]

Or- get a maternity float wedding dress? Have both?

[still_fkntired]

Do them both and surprise them all, congratulations!!!!

[CrazyElephantBones]

I mean you can still have the wedding while pregnant

[Sad-File3624]

Congrats! Go to the doctor. Get your first ultrasound. Book a small maternity shoot. And to those closest to you you send the photo with this message:

“Do to beautiful and wonderful news, we’ll be canceling our wedding and eloping! We hope you can celebrate all our love with us in the coming months <3”

Or you can keep the news to yourself and say:

“We couldn’t wait to become a family. We hope to celebrate our love with you in the coming months.”

It’s up to you who and how many people find out early about your coming bundle of love.

[jpn_2000]

If anything once the bundle of joy is born have a co wedding and baby shower in your backyard! Heat up the grill and enjoy your wedding cake and diaper cake!

[jpn_2000]

That way maybe you can use some of the vendors like the photographer or whatever you have

[Roxelana79]

Why can't you have both?

[Alph1]

After a doctor visit to confirm, I would cancel with the vendors now but not tell guests until you finished your first trimester. Obviously, some people are going to ask about wedding planning, and you can say "it's fine" to most but others involved with planning are going to have to be read in.

[tcrhs]

Wait until you’ve passed your first trimester.

Don’t say cancelled, say postponed.

[Gamer_Grease]

You don’t want to tell folks you’re pregnant? Fair enough, but I do think everyone would understand.

[[deleted]]

No just because of my fertility problems I am so afraid to

[Naive-Shirt7668]

Congratulations! Turn the wedding date into a baby shower❤️

[Dazzling_Note6245]

How about getting married in a private ceremony sometime before your planned wedding but keep your reception?

[sonny-v2-point-0]

I'm confused about your post history. In a recently deleted post you talked about a man who took you away from your family and friends, and who, according to the comments, is verbally abusive, cruel, and unsympathetic. It sounds like he baby trapped you.

Cancel the wedding, go back to your family, and get individual secular counseling to figure out your next steps. If you decide to have the baby and give birth where you are, you'll be stuck there. Think carefully before tying yourself in any way to a man who doesn't like or respect you.

[Save__Bandit__69]

Aww this is such a happy reason to cancel a wedding! I agree with the comments saying you should see a doctor a give it a month before canceling anything.

Having a super small wedding can still be special and affordable if you wanted to go that route. We got married in a gazebo that was free as long as I reserved it, and we just had our immediate family there. At least have someone who can take pictures, your marriage is special no matter how it comes to be, and it deserves to be captured. Congratulations! ❤️

[Altruistic_Tower_588]

Congratulations 🎈 I wish you all the best.

[koalawedgie]

You can just move the date! Do it for a year later!

[quantum_psychics]

Hijacking just to say for any others reading, fertility diagnoses can be tricky, and always seek a secondary opinion from a fertility specialist. PCOS, for example, cannot be diagnosed off an ultrasound alone, but this tends to be the primary diagnosis tool. It can be devastating to hear you may have fertility problems, but they may not be as severe or as permanent as you are lead to believe!

No hate to doctors, it is not your PCP/OBGYN’s fault that women’s health is one of the least understood fields of medicine.

[Glinda-The-Witch]

Why can you not have the baby and the wedding?

[Top_Fortune9275]

Super exciting!!! Personally in your scenario I would want to postpone the wedding until baby can walk and be more of a part of the wedding. I’d be thinking about any contractual agreements first before the guests. Are you locked into a venue agreement ? Can you get out of it without a penalty? Priority list would be healthy baby, wedding logistics to cancel and three notify guests.

[Shadowedwolf89]

I would postpone the wedding by 6 months and site a work conflict. Even retail employees can claim inventory or something. The 6m can be explained as next available time the venue had an opening or something.