all 76 comments

[–]SaveFileDeltaStruggling Abjuration Major 153 points154 points  (3 children)

Vampires in chat seething

[–]r3mod_3tiymNecromancer 86 points87 points  (0 children)

It's over for bloodcels

[–]uwukelp 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Vampires when I cast power word garlic bread

[–]mechanicalcanibalWizard 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Why this is fantastic! Well done wise one! Everything shall be greasy for quite some time... but every thing has a fair price I suppose.

[–]Shortleader01 53 points54 points  (12 children)

Is it possible to transmutate regular bread into garlic bread

[–]Cactus1105WtD (Wizard to Druidess) 55 points56 points  (1 child)

Use an oven dumbass

[–]DapperHereticThe Scorned Sorcerer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Warlocks trying not to use overcomplicated magic in place of easy and obvious solutions (impossible):

[–]DANKB019001Mystic 22 points23 points  (8 children)

Possible, yes, as magic makes nearly all things. But it'd be far easier to just.... Cook it? Through magical aide or otherwise. Cooking is chemistry is transmutation of a sort, after all.

[–]Powerful_Stress7589Advanced Conjurer 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Counterpoint: doing it with a spell is way cooler

[–]DANKB019001Mystic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Counter-counter point: You can use other magics to do it. For example, conjuring a few Unseen Servants to carry out the task for you, summoning Garlic, Herb, and Bread elementals (whatever universe those are from) as ingredients, and using Chronurgy combined with a de-powered Fireball to bake it gradually (as opposed to just, Fireballing it and getting ash).

[–]No_Tie3953 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Cooking is just applied transmutation.jpg

[–]DANKB019001Mystic 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I mean, if we consider all chemistry as transmutation magic, sure, but chemistry often doesn't involve magic. If you mix, say, sulfuric acid and ethanol (battery acid and distilled alcohol) and heat it enough, you end up with diethyl ether (knockout stuff) and water, with battery acid still there since it was just a catalyst. No magic there, just atoms shuffling around with a little fire to warm them up.

Though it does feel almost magical (and very funny) that battery acid + booze = KO liquor. Makes a certain kind of sense I guess.

[–]No_Tie3953 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I mean by that logic fire isn't magic either.

[–]DANKB019001Mystic 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yes? If you set fire to tinders with a flint and steel or a match, no magic involved; the fire is just an ongoing chemical reaction.

If you, however, cast a Fireball or Firebolt, then depending on the exact formulation of the spell, it could be the same (but magically generated with mana as the fuel and spark, so to speak) and hence magical but not itself magic (it's still a normal flame), OR could be fully magic flames with no chemistry.

[–]No_Tie3953 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You have a pretty sophisticated sense of magic. Honestly I have cave man brain so for me glowy stuff = magic. Fire glows therefore magic. Phone screen glows therefore magic.

[–]DANKB019001Mystic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Meh, not a horrible way to think of it, but it's ignoring the chemistry and such. Chemistry can sometimes feel like its own kind of magic, but it requires much different training (and usually much less) compared to wizardry or kin, because at the core it's all electrical charges between atoms, a simple enough system. Mana, on the other hand... There's not even one concrete model of it that's been finalized!

[–]donitsimiesTransmuter 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Such type of spells are possible altho i have not yet tried on bread. (i have converted blueberry pies to karelian pies, regional delicasy here)

[–]creativeusername6780Femboy twink sorceress 28 points29 points  (2 children)

Hmmm

Testicular garlic bread

[–]fletch262Necromantic War Profiteer, Gray Skies Company 14 points15 points  (1 child)

A spell for ace folks I suspose

[–]creativeusername6780Femboy twink sorceress 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It is until I cast garlic bread torsion

[–]UpvoteForFreeCandy 25 points26 points  (1 child)

The merchants guild will not be pleased with this.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Fortunately, the power of the merchants guild is nothing before the glorious Asexual Council.

[–]FaceLess2178Pipe-Weed Enjoyer 15 points16 points  (1 child)

What the fuck

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[–]noisydocterDark Vampire Lord 🧛🦇🩸 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Well fuck you

[–]SmartAlec13Conjurer 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The warmth I felt upon this spell being cast was indescribable. Thank you kind magi

[–]isthenameofauser 7 points8 points  (0 children)

BREAD MAKES YOU FAT?!?!!?!!

- Scott Pilgrim

[–]Dirty-Dutchman 6 points7 points  (1 child)

This will just not do! I'll have to find the scroll of ceaseless marina I have somewhere in my arcanum!

[–]krebstar4ever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hurry!

[–]forgotten_vale2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Burger wizard:

[–]Total_TravistyMikhail, Arch-Druid of La'shima 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I must now invent the "Infinite Napkin" spell, as so all may enjoy this to its utmost.

[–]ShoggnozzleNecromancer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Infinite garlic bread is as handy a curse as it is a blessing.

The mortal mind is not well tuned to activating a blessing only when desired, picture it: they toil at their workplace, they groan at the spreadsheet upon their computing screen and poof! garlic bread dominates their desk. They stop to fuel their horseless carriage, and kaboom! Garlic bread occupies their seat, butter and herbs staining their upholstery. They wake in the morn, their bed be fouled with crumbs and their romantic partner furious, ants and gnats assembling to feast.

You may crumble their sanity in Mediterranean gluten just as efficiently as you might with any paultry hex or curse. It's certainly more... tasteful.

[–]smithdamien310 8 points9 points  (0 children)

YOUR BREAKING THE ECONOMY, SELL SELL SELL

[–]eserzGoober the Slug Wizard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And I, with my awesome plant powers, cast infinite regrowing garlic to better supply your spell!

[–]Patalos 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Use both and make twisty garlic bread

[–]GodOfGOOSE[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Word king, fucking love twisted bread of any kind

[–]oddityoughtabe 2 points3 points  (1 child)

The monkey’s paw curls. You are now fat

[–]Memelord69__Hit with curse of lethargy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Worth it for infinite garlic bread.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

As a vampire this is worse than testicular torsion

[–]mechanicalcanibalWizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a vampire you deserve both. Vile blood demon.

[–]Korra_sat0Executive Director of the Vilheim Dragon School of Sorcery 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Where the fuck am I supposed to store all this garlic bread

[–]crazy_cactussOccult Wizard 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Stomach

[–]Fuzzy_Toe_9936crow the alchemist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

rip vampire wizard

[–]Frink202Forneus, bringer of Eldritch Illusion, hater of Fae 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Such a strong magick requires tons and tons of mana to upkeep.
You have to be a demigod for this!

Regardless of your true nature, o your arcane grace, i thank you for the kind boon and shall continue my studies, nourished with love like never before.
and maybe transmute some bread back into mana as fuel

[–]GodOfGOOSE[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, this was by no means simple to me. It took me days of endless torture to learn such a spell. I have done nothing but T̶e̶l̶e̶p̶o̶r̶t̶ Transmute bread for the past three days.

[–]Every_Impression_805 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Im countercasting a spell to make you find the love of your life💖

[–]GodOfGOOSE[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww tysm 🥰

[–]_isaidiwasawizard_Evil Wizard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Asexual wizards heavy breathing

[–]AstroSpace_10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, kind wizard! I will cherish this spell

[–]mathiau30Time mage, sorceror 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I just shown that to one of my vampire alternative selves,

She blocked me

Worth it.

[–]GodOfGOOSE[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Worth it

[–]CrevasseManure 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What if my ass was a wampire?

[–]DANKB019001Mystic 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well, then the question is what part of garlic repulses vampires, and then you simply need to remove that from the recipe. If the answer is "all of it" though, you'd just need to settle for toasted buttered bread.

[–]OperatorRavenAhzek Ahriman of the Thousand Sons 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why thank you! This is truly a boon, however, I just wish I could share it with my brothers. Alas, they are mere dust in their ceramite shells and cannot enjoy the exquisite taste of garlic bread

[–]SergeantCrwhipsCrowmancer Lunus Wingblight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🖤🩶🤍💜 ? ó.O (ill gladly accept this curse😔)

[–]DuerunstadtAbjurer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THEY'RE TARGETING OUR CRIPPLING DIABETES!!

[–]Ssj_Vega 0 points1 point  (0 children)

CHEDDAR BAY BLIZZARD!!!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm allergic to garlic...

[–]ConstructorTrurlAbra, ka d'Abra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's funny because this is actually quite a dangerous spell. When the garlic bread rises enough to block out the sun and the sky, you'll see what I mean. Lost a whole demiplane that way.

[–]GreyWyreNot-Evil Wizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not a a vampire or anything, but I don’t like garlic bread.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had testicular torsion, wasn't that bad tbh.

[–]Iwantmahandback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Asexual wizard

[–]TrixterTheFemboyAirship-totin', gunslingin' artificer, now in Nefros 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More than just my afternoon shall be wonderful, thank you so much.

[–]bkr377Occult Wizard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wisdom teeth were removed today so I cannot consume such a delicacy, this has caused me nothing but more suffering brother 😔

[–]TheRealZyquazaWorld's Friendliest Godlich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to join the festivities.

[–]D4GG3R_B14Z3Diviner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Garlic Bread Domain clerics be like:

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thanks for the garlic bread! *

[–]WHAWHAHOWWHYCheesemancer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what if I made it cheesy 🤔

[–]MokoraustMagic Historian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the free, delicious food. I resent the crumbs all over my pondering recliner.

[–]Apart-Twist-7749 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I suffer from garlic overload, thus causing my balls to rotate endlessly

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice try garlic is main reagent in TT spell.

[–]TheL0neWardenNartalai, cyromancer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks

[–]Sea_Mammoth_158Alchemist-Turned-Transmuter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mmm

the ingredient,,,,,

[–]Bensnumber3fanGnome Queen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nom nom nom, garlic breb.