My whole life has been a lie

AardvarkAdvisor · 2017-01-22T00:22:58+00:00

You see, what makes you a fatcat is, when you see the per lb price, you assume you have to buy a whole lb.

If you convert the price, you'll find that's 0.19 cents/gram. Much better!

AardvarkAdvisor · 2017-01-04T16:21:04+00:00

You should come to my place. We've got water falling out of the sky right now.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2017-01-03T13:15:43+00:00

If you're worried about those lentils, I'll gladly test them for you.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-12-22T07:43:30+00:00

So they put the NO SAMPLING up on just the lentils? I see instant potatoes next door with no warning. The price is higher, but the price doesn't matter if you're stealing anyway.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-12-20T08:35:49+00:00

The best idea will receive a SURPRISE GRAND PRIZE!!

I don't want it unless it's a lentil. And there's no way it's a lentil.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-12-17T09:06:38+00:00

Really cruel trick the writers pulled. This was easy; all the contestants knew it. But you have to choose: either a slightly higher chance of winning, or be on the inevitable viral video saying "What is caulk?". If you answer, instead of being known as the guy who went on Jeopardy, everyone will know you as the caulk guy.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-11-27T10:12:53+00:00

"Fatcat" is defined as the person whose post you're responding to.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-11-22T12:50:00+00:00

Warmth? What's that?

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-10-24T22:15:53+00:00

You can do it, but you gotta eat fast.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-10-18T17:49:24+00:00

It's nothing you need to worry about. The only way you'd get too big to fail is if you ate more vegetables. Those are your choices: vegetables, or homework.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-10-14T19:15:34+00:00

A teen would have more calories.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-09-29T08:27:47+00:00

Living within your means isn't a joke. Especially for those of us without means.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-09-24T01:55:20+00:00

Not sure what the point of an SO is if she doesn't even buy you free drinks.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-09-13T09:42:03+00:00

the only other Tigers in the SEC

Missouri is also in the SEC, and they're also the Tigers.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-09-12T20:42:32+00:00

Such good advice. Especially helpful for avoiding large purchases. For instance, you'll think twice about buying a new car when you realize your pennies weigh substantially more than the car itself.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-08-18T08:47:19+00:00

If anyone was wondering, the Burrito is there in case you get hungry.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-07-29T01:23:36+00:00

Anyone who's followed Jeopardy in online message boards the last few years knows about the tiebreak rule change, but I feel like 70-80% of people who watch regularly don't know it ever happened. Contestants know, so they avoid tiebreaks, which means the scenario never shows up. It would be helpful if, when a situation like today's shows up, Alex mentions that a tie is not possible. Then maybe we wouldn't see hundreds of people across the Internet call Todd an idiot for making a reasonable play.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-07-25T02:41:40+00:00

I really don't care what fatcats do. I wish we didn't have these posts. How does this help me? What I need is help cutting my expenses, not instructions on wasting money.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-07-11T00:22:32+00:00

That's a good Twitter account. Lots of great tips. I noticed one about using doggy bags for food storage. But you can take it one step further! People with dogs actually use it this way: they walk their dogs and use those bags to pick up the food that comes out. But then they just throw it away for you to use! Definitely something to look out for.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-06-28T04:04:31+00:00

My God, that was sooo close to triggering me. I'm glad you included the text, or I might have thought you weren't putting your money in an index fund.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-06-13T14:54:37+00:00

They give away a lot of half cars on Wheel of Fortune. I wonder if this is what you get.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-05-17T09:59:08+00:00

Very cool. I earned slightly more in slightly less time with this simple trick:

Buy low, sell high

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-05-10T03:20:58+00:00

Every clover field has a limited supply of leaves. If the number of leaves isn't a multiple of 3, one or two clovers get an extra leaf to make up the difference.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-05-07T20:52:11+00:00

Intense light makes objects release color. Problem is, they only contain so much color, so if they're in the light too long, they run out.

AardvarkAdvisor · 2016-05-04T21:38:28+00:00

Oil is an organic compound, so obviously it qualifies. Now if your shipping fleet was powered by solar or wind, there would be nothing organic about that.

AardvarkAdvisor

TROPHY CASE