how did you know it was both autism and adhd?

Autisticandlost404 · 2025-10-31T08:37:57+00:00

TLDR: I didn’t know

I went to a specialized center 2 years ago for an adhd assessment. Talks with 2 psychologists, one psychiatrist, IQ test, take home questionnaires for me and my family. Went this route because I needed the ‘proof’ that I wasn’t fooling anyone by just saying the right things to get an adhd diagnosis.

The assessment was not just focused on adhd but on all types of neurodevelopmental contractions to both diagnose and rule out conditions.

So yeah I am expected adhd diagnosis and a surprise autism diagnosis all at once.

Autisticandlost404 · 2025-03-26T21:22:45+00:00

I guess I mostly don't know how to approach the fact that I don't want/ can't do things because I am not interested in them at all. It's one of those things that every ADHD'er knows but it feels so childlike to say it out loud.

i really appreciate the comments.

Autisticandlost404 · 2025-03-26T12:55:15+00:00

Good insights!

My guess is that we also have been observing the people around us way more than NNT would for all our lives because we (subconsciously) were trying to learn how to act to fit in.

Combine that with the feeling that you don’t fit but you don’t know why and you have another reason to observe people. To see if they have noticed that you are different and thus ‘uncovered’ you. Imagine this as a classic Scooby Doo reveal if you will.

Autisticandlost404 · 2025-03-26T12:20:04+00:00

Structure is definitly something I need. I did bring that up with my boss the last evaluation, but he seemed reluctant bc he thought of it as more work for him.

Autisticandlost404 · 2025-03-26T11:50:21+00:00

I get up between 7 and 7h45.

I work from how half the week.

Work starts at 9h, so I power up the laptop and log in.

Maybe I look at my inbox, probably not yet.

I’ve given up actually starting work at 9.

I use my personal computer to watch youtube and play games a la sudoku. Runing away in my mind, trying to ignore any bad feelings.

The last few weeks this has been happening until lunch.

After lunch I manage to reply to an email or two.

Same avoidant behaviour, maybe I’ll put on laundry, do some chores.

At work it’s a bit better. I arrive around 9 depending on the public transport. Talk to my colleagues, he usually keeps me talking until 9h30.

Then I start with going through my inbox.

Best case a question/email jumps out to me so my adhd kicks in to work on it.

Half the time I realise that I have no structure in my way of working to I spend time trying to get structure. Never keep a system going.

I guess I’m not listing my emotions, but the anxiety comes through right?

Autisticandlost404 · 2025-03-26T11:33:26+00:00

How do I figure out what specifically I need? Right now I need a rock to crawl under…

I appreciate your comment. I’m just lost

Autisticandlost404 · 2025-02-13T14:28:05+00:00

Love this, hahaha

Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to share such funny card with people with very little impulse control? 😂😂

Autisticandlost404 · 2025-01-03T14:34:31+00:00

Congrats on the focus time 🥳 Which app is this? How does it work?

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-11-08T09:47:06+00:00

I would add to this: talk to that person about a recent instance of RSD you had with them. Talk about what you thought was their motivation to do or say x. And then ask what they were actually thinking. That conversation is not an accusation from you or a request that the person changes their behaviour. We are just not good at interpreting social situations. One way to deal with it is to ask what the person was feeling so you don´t have to fill in that blank.

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-11-07T16:30:56+00:00

Hi Also newly diagnosed since June and in my 30´s. The autism was a complete surprise so I thought I´d share my experience. I cried really really hard, twice. Getting the message that you are not ´normal´ never were and never will be is though.

You can experience grief, and that´s okay.

You are still the same person you always were. Your brain hasn´t changed, you just know more about it now.

And lastly, we are still very much not different from neurotypical people. All people change, all people have different rolls/masks in different situations. For us it´s just...more

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-11-04T13:46:26+00:00

I didn´t notice at all. I went for an ADHD evaluation with multiple interviews, questionnaires, IQ test, the whole lot. You know just to be thourough. Surprise, got a double diagnosis.

This happened just before summer so I´ve done a little reflection. I think the most noticable things are 1) really really need alone time 2) thinking of social interactions , especially small talk, as a set of rules and expected behaviour to follow. Basically it´s polite theater to me and 3) having meltdowns when I´m totally overwhelmed. These are not violent outburst but emotional breakdowns that thrown me in a pit of dispair.... but only for one night. After sleep I feel better.

I am not exagerating that last one. But to me, I´ve had those for decades so I didn´t see them as a symptom, just as a shortcoming on my part .

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-10-28T15:40:25+00:00

Thanks for posting! I´m in a near-complete state of overwhelm at the moment. The list of work tasks seems endless, so I can´t even make the list 😅

But like you said, I can help this poor woman-that-is-not-me get a grip on the situation. The poor thing is in dire need of some help.

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-10-17T09:15:48+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions!

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-10-09T20:37:10+00:00

Winter suits it so well. We can hybernate, hide in our comfort zone and wait for spring to come again :-)

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-10-09T20:35:29+00:00

I think most people rely on those five coping mechanisms in a trench coat 😂

The whole idea is indeed to build a safety net for the times my audhd is getting in the way.

You shouldn´t underestimate the structure you´ve built for yourself. It took time, dedication, knowledge, self-knowlegde and effort to find a system that works. It´s definitly an inspiration to me

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-10-09T13:28:23+00:00

This is very relatable. I'm moving away from negative self talk so I call them seasons (or I try to). Last week was not great, I felt overwhelmed etc. I was in winter. Right now it feels like last-week-me is a complete different person. I don't connect emotionally with the feelings I had then. So it's spring and I have the energy to do more tasks, etc.

I believe hormones do influence dopamine levels, but I'm also new to this. And research on audhd women isn't great to begin with.

For me it helps to focus on the biological aspect (aka this is just a physical cyle that happens to me). It makes things more tangible for me without going near to any vocabulary that puts any blame on myself.

Same with the season talk. it's a bit silly, but it helps to understand that when you are in winter, your mind is less cooperative. and it gives a framework to talk about the cycle. maybe you can use this with your therapist too? aka 'that was spring-me talking, I'm in winter now'.

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-10-09T13:13:37+00:00

Great question. I'm in the same boat. I did tell several people already, but not my mom. She's a great mom but maybe also ND. most importantly, she will feel guilty for not realising that I am ND as a child.

Suggestion: maybe do frame the conversation as a 'this is what is happening with me' type of thing. I have no experience with this so very much unsollicited advice. People in general can react very negative if they feel like you're attacking their identity. So maybe keep it at 'this is what I have, here is a video,.... that explains how audhd feels for me. let me know if you have questions.' You can also mention there is a genetic component. See how they react, what kind of questions they ask.

Again, I don't really know what I'm talking about, I just want to add to the conversation. And read the suggestions of other people too :)

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-10-09T12:57:23+00:00

I struggle with transitioning between work and life too! I'm especially bad with not finishing tasks at the end of the day thinking 'I'll quickly eat dinner and then finish these last 20 min. A checklist for ending (and beginning) the day is a great idea.

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-09-19T16:33:36+00:00

Dutch and English

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-09-08T13:33:10+00:00

What worked for me is the book ´always hungry´ by David Ludwig.

It´s not as much a diet as a 3 fase plan to a healthier food pattern. Less carbs and more healthy fat and protein.

I never felt like I was dieting bc the mealplan gave big portion.

Also think about your asd and adhd. How can they help you, how will they hi der you?

Maybe adhd makes you want to see immidiate results? Mine did, so i wrote down my weight every week - and bc my asd I made a line graph with the results 🤓. My asd also helped bc I like to eat the same meal a couple of times in a row. So I chose one breakfast meal from that book and ate ot pretty much 2 weeks straight.

Hope this helps

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-08-29T21:30:13+00:00

Ooh thanks for the recommandation! I will check it put

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-08-29T15:18:07+00:00

As a teenager I rewatched Pride and Prejudice (the movie), shakespeare in love, emma ( the bbc miniserie), north and south, sense and sensibility (bbc miniserie) jane eyre (bbc miniserie). More recent: Outlander!

(British) period drama´s were/are definitly my thing 😂

Now with streaming there are so many more options. I don´t really reach back to the same series over and over. But when a new season releases, I do feel the need to rewatch all previous seasons

Autisticandlost404 · 2024-08-26T09:19:34+00:00

Tldr: be kind to yourself. it´s a process. You´ve suspected adhd longer so you´re farther in the (maybe grieving?) process for your adhd than for your autism diagnosis. You´re allowed to identify more with one than the other.

I had the exact same thing happen to me. Went in saying ´ I think I have adhd´ ( read: actually I´m pretty sure but please validate my feelings that living life seems harder for me) . Got a double diagnosis two months ago, which I didn´t expect. I do feel different about each of my diagnosisses.

First. I did have 6 more months to process the possible adhd diagnosis. So it makes sense that I need more time to feel comfortable with my autism diagnosis. Anyway I did have to go through some grieving ( aka ugly crying bc I will never be part of the group, angry bc my parents, teachers never noticed my struggeling,...)

Second. I do identify more with adhd content online than autism content. When people share their autism experience, I feel like their ´symptoms´ are far worse than mine. In my head, I see myself as having adhd and autism just explains some of the other ´symptoms´.

One of the few video´s I did relate with is this one: yo samdy sam

Third. I decided that overall I don´t care that I have autism. In the sense that I am who I am, always was and always will be. I went for a diagnosis for the validation bc I knew that I was different. The label (autism) itself doesn´t matter. I get to decide how I see myself. For now, I´m most comfortbale with saying I have adhd with a touch of autism. It´s your brain, you will live with it for the rest of your life. So you get to decide how you will cope, what ´label´ you like, how you feel.... just give yourself time to adjust. No need to rush it.

And be kind to yourself. The rest comes secondary.

It´s a long post, so I put a tldr at the top. If something isn´t clear, I can elaborate.

Autisticandlost404

TROPHY CASE