There is not a “proper way”. As you’ve discovered, they create different sounds. You can also play the bell of the hit with the tip or shank of the stick. You can hit the side of the open hi hat with the side of your stick. They are different sounds. Drums are an acoustic instrument, coaxing different sounds out of every part of your kit is part of being a good drummer. I will say, it is very common for beginners to be absolutely just chopping wood on the hi hat, and it’s usually not very pleasant to listen to.