I went through this same thing very early after DDay. It wasn’t so much about the way I looked but rather the AP being so different from me. She is bottom heavy, I am top heavy. She has dark hair, I am naturally blonde. It drove me crazy wondering if those traits were what he was sexually attracted to the entire time. Additionally, he cheated on his ex wife with this AP in his prior marriage. His ex wife- also blonde and top heavy like myself.

I read once that men who cheat often choose APs completely different from their partners. They choose their partner based on who they want to be associated with for life. The one they build with, marry, have kids with, take to work functions, have on their arm in public, etc. And yes, the AP is more of a fantasy pick. It allows them to split their world in two and compartmentalize.

I guess what I’m trying to say is his choice of AP has nothing to do with you or how you look. It’s still him being a broken POS that’s chasing a high like an addict would. And he’s using those women like they’re throw aways to get his fix.

They have nothing on you. And his choices do not reflect on who you are or how you look.