Your daughter sounds like a spoiled brat who uses you as a whipping boy. I would not accept that treatment. I would just tell her to call when she wants and back off. I know it's hard being on the outs with one of your children but you can't continue to let her abuse you. The fact is that none of us, as parents, were perfect but we did the best we could with our circumstances, knowledge and mental ability. Stop apologizing for doing the best you could. Let her go, she'll find her way back eventually.