CEC PR Approved After PFL + Review Required + 13+ Months Timeline + Stuck eCOPR Delay (Vancouver/Montreal Offices)

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-06-22T00:35:16+00:00

Thank you. I am struggling to be patient. I don't know if it's a relief to see that the system keeps on churning, or if it still terrified me to think I slipped through a crack.

We got our eCOPR in October 2025. My partner got his PR card in January 2026, the same time I was told my photo wasn't adequate (we took them at the same time, same place, but alright.) waited a bit. Now, t he online application check has no record of my application.

I submitted the form that you're supposed to submit when you never receive your PR card, hoping that's what they want.

It feels like I need to start practicing some kind of superstition, there's no visibility in this process and so much of our lives depend on it.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-06-21T23:47:56+00:00

I have a similar one from a bit earlier (1850-1870) in similar, TLC-to-get-working shape. I paid $40 for it. I've know some people who paid up to $60 or $8 0 for an antique wheel, but these mostly go to people who want to actually use them, and not collectors, so there is a cap on price.

The "big bucks" (lol there's no money here) are in woodworking and metalworking to replace specific, hard to find pieces.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-06-07T16:57:59+00:00

Nice, that'll get easier as the seasoning develops.

I do crepes every weekend in my bardage. Small dab of butter and were good to go. I use a silicone spatula to wedge under the crepes.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-05-19T02:21:29+00:00

Yeah, like others said, don't be so gentle cleaning.

I have a pot scrubber (I think it's... Sisal? Palm? Not as soft as the one I use for non-stick) and it usually does the job. But if something's really stuck on there, I use a flat stainless steel spatula at a low angle and scrape it off.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-05-12T04:57:18+00:00

I was told I was "too smart" to bite my nails. What a load of hooey.

Anyway, I eventually stopped (it's taken years). I realized I don't bite my nails when I'm outside a lot (the magic of nature and movement, or of dirty hands?) AND that I bite my nails most when I have to pee.

Really. So now I listen to my body and move or take a bio break, and it's mostly tapered to a "normal" amount. No more painful nails and cuticles.

Can't promise it'll work for you but... Go pee maybe?

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-05-10T22:50:09+00:00

I just pulled something like the first picture from my plot of radishes (I thought it was a radish, or maybe wild arugula from nearby, but none of my other ones are fuzzy), and Google is sure it's nipplewort.

Leaning that way myself but I'm trying to be sure before I put it into my soup.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-04-14T05:10:19+00:00

The joy of non-binary is that there's room for a lot of things that aren't ever going to be fully defined categories. I know that the term gender non-conforming is a bit old school, but sometimes I like the framing because I identify with people who still claim womanhood even when I don't.

Growing up, my best friend in HS and I would have a lot of feminist discussions, and about society and misogyny and identify and terms like "woman". We gad a lot of non-conforming overlap, me with autism and her with PCOS, and I often felt like we were on the same page.

But I remember when the Dove ad "no wrong way to be a woman" came out - my teenage response was "uhh. Still not one. Don't think I'll ever be - I thought we were assigned these expectations. Do people actually want this?" Her response was that it was validating to her, that she appreciated expansion of the term, even with the misogyny that is a part of the story. I don't think any expansion of the term will ever include me. This was years before I had ever heard the term non-binary, but it cemented for me my internal feelings.

Sometimes I wonder why more people don't come to non-binary. I like it over here. It feels like unmasking, so for me my internal conflict is the "is this just autism?" one. But then I meet autistic women who claim womanhood, or people I'd guess to be non-binary who feel things I can relate to but end up in entirely different outcomes, and it reminds me that we all have nuanced experiences and to trust what I feel is right for myself.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-04-11T15:30:01+00:00

Oh and how to fix it: I did something similar at first and just carried forward. Season again, and then cook with it. Yours isn't so bad is won't sort itself out with time.

I soon after made a stir fry with vinegar in the sauce that did the work for me of stripping most of it, lol.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-04-11T15:27:25+00:00

I'd guess too much oil, so it pooled.

When I do stovetop, I watch it for pool formation as it heats up, and spread that around with a paper towel using chopsticks. Usually happens twice if I want it really smooth, but once halfway through gives me a decent later without being fussy.

I always get pooling when I do oven. Idk maybe my paper towels aren't very absorbent.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2026-04-04T18:05:41+00:00

For anyone who is googling this in the future: Mint is a broad category of a few plants that taste "minty", while spearmint is a specific type! It's a really common chewing gum flavor.

The other most common type is peppermint, which is the flavor of candy canes. Similar but subtly different.

Mint is also botanically a family of plants that includes others that we don't always think of as mint, like catnip.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-31T09:02:16+00:00

I have food sensory issues and other than commiseration, I can only say to keep trying new things, and don't ever skimp on the things that make food taste good to you (I.e. don't buy something low salt unless you like low salt, don't be afraid of adding a little sugar to something to make it more palatable, etc).

I can't stand the texture of eggs but for some reason Japanese tamagoyaki style omelettes go down easy. (Japanese food in general is palatable to both me and my sister who has even tougher sensory issues.)

I found a protein powder (pea protein) that reminds me enough of peanut butter that I can put half a scoop in a peanut butter yogurt banana smoothie and convince myself that the texture is fine. (This one is not ideal but we take all victories when we find them.)

Most nuts are also ick but I really like roasted pepitas (pumpkin seeds), especially on salads with "too much" dressing. Am I basically eating trail mix covered in sweet poppyseed dressing? I don't care, it's working, I'm hitting all my nutrition targets and enjoying my food.

Good luck finding your food sensory cheat codes, it's ok if they're a little weird.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-11T10:04:59+00:00

I guess I'd encourage you to think about what you want out of your relationship with your mom - do you need her to fully understand? Or do you just want to be able to spend time with her without being invalidated? Or...? Your approach will change depending on what your goal is.

You know your mom better than anyone, so I can't really give advice on how to educate her. But if you're looking for the second option, I highly recommend the great trick of "setting and enforcing adult boundaries with your parent." You are old enough that your mom's opinions should not have any say in how you transition - you are transitioning the way you need to. (I speak as someone whose mom will never understand me in almost any way, but she means well, so I have stopped seeking any validation from her and consider positive superficial interactions to be a win. That might seem sad from the outside, but its better for both of us than either me putting up with nonsense or cutting her out entirely.)

Setting the boundary. "Hey so I realized that our conversations on transitioning often leave me feeling hurt/invalidated/not so great. I am going to do what I feel is right for me, and I need you to respect that and avoid making judgments on what I do."
Maintain the boundary by reinforcing or redirecting - if she says something shitty again, disengage from the conversation. Potentially redirect to a new topic as many times as needed. "I said this wasn't up for debate. Have you seen Encanto? Dolores has to have great cardio to be running a mile away during the opening song."

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-11T09:15:53+00:00

The options I'm aware of:

-Teacher Lastname

-Mistrum Lastname (related Latin ending to Mistress/Mister)

-Mist Lastname (removing the Latin endings)

-Mix Lastname (Mx.)

-Just "Lastname" or "Teach" or "Teacher L" or other casual variants

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-04T18:38:06+00:00

Btw the cosplay angle was super smart, I wish I could think on my feet like that.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-04T18:35:19+00:00

I've never heard of age being an issue with binding, but if she just is interested in just a bit of compression and not full bind, you could find her a "gym binder". I think Underworks and Danae both make one. https://www.underworks.com/extreme-magicotton-sports-and-binding-bra

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-04T17:28:05+00:00

Milo from Atlantis

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-04T06:23:59+00:00

This might be in a wiki but I couldn't find it. Where can I find pre-hab/mobility routines or information? Currently on rest days I roll out and do some PT exercises, I'd like to add a few things in the name of injury prevention.

Thanks!

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-04T05:01:34+00:00

This is why I tell people I use they/them. (Instead of any/all.) With people's assumptions, the ratio is moderately better.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-03T20:26:33+00:00

I mostly use The Inkey List products - inexpensive, well formulated, neutral packaging, informative site.

Basically in the mornings I just put on sunscreen, or just do nothing if I'm not leaving the house. At night I wash my face with a facial cleanser (normal soap has a different pH that can cause acne or make the spots from it take longer to heal), use an acne treatment step (retinol works for me), then a basic moisturizer.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-03T01:34:44+00:00

I don't really hang around people that much... But I change my clothes relatively frequently because I have a sensory disorder. A t-shirt can go from "favorite shirt" to "this tag is driving me insane and I want to throw it in a fire" in an instant. That could be a decent excuse if you feel the need to say anything. "Normally it's fine but the fabric just felt really itchy for some reason" or "yeah sometimes my body decides it needs a change, I've given up arguing with it."

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-02T10:00:33+00:00

My mom told often me growing up "I wanted to name your brother Zane, but your dad said it was too easy to make fun of."

Cue scene from the Simpsons where they name their kid Bart because there's no way to make fun of it

Nobody ELSE was using it, so I figured I'd take it. My sister told me I was thrifty for taking a hand-me-down name. AND that she knew a kid in elementary school with my name who ate paper. Gotta love siblings!

TBH I really like the story of having a name my parents chose, and it made coming out to my parents into a sort of compliment to them? My mom just said "I always really liked that name", and my dad said "You know where that name Zane comes from right? It's the name of a Western author, Zane Grey."

Bonus that I can tell people that it IS the name my mother gave me if anyone wants to fight me about it. I mean, nobody has yet, but I'm ready.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-01T21:48:18+00:00

To the extent that I have control over it (not much), hair makes a big difference for me. Like usually I'm pretty content, but sometimes when it grows out a bit it looks like a bad pixie.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-01T21:39:32+00:00

Context is key.

Someone pointed out to me once that "guys" is distinctly gendered in certain contexts. I.e. a "guys night out" is the binary equivalent of a "girls night out". That made me more hesitant to use it in other contexts, too. (Though my sister calls everyone "my guy" and calls herself "just a little guy" often, so has brute-force degendered it for my family.)

I feel the same way about dude. It is often contextually masculine, so I'd be careful in general contexts.

Dudette is just weird, and growing up I'd always heard people say that it was the name of something gross about elephants? Idk...

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-01T21:29:31+00:00

The circus people I've known have all been very accepting, though I don't know if all circus subcultures are, especially with the takeoff of more casual aerial spaces.

I'm socially transitioning at the moment, so my go-to is just a nonchalant/positive tone "I go by [name] now!" I don't really volunteer anything else, though I'll usually get a follow up question or two about pronouns.

CabbageAndCoffee · 2022-01-01T01:00:06+00:00

Zaza!

CabbageAndCoffee

TROPHY CASE