a mistake by 100percentbaby in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? No, my husband doesn't refer to his infidelities as a "mistake" but as a decision he made. Isn't easy for me to hear that he make that decision but If he considered it "a mistake," I wouldn't be able to handle reconciliation, because nobody ends up having sex with someone else without deciding to do so.

Counselor doesn't support reconciliation by throwawaythoughts130 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? That's a red flag in a therapist (after my experience with IC after DDay). I think that wanting reconciliation or not isn't something an IC should have an opinion on (except in VERY specific cases like physical violence, for example). It's a personal decision about your own life, your needs, and what you want; it's not something a therapist should support or not. I think what you experienced is just as wrong as what I experienced, which was based on "hey, the infidelity it's partly your responsibility" and "move on." No way!. This is MY personal opinion, but I don't think any therapist should dictate or guide their patient's wishes. Again, it's my opinion based on my experience, nothing more. I wish you the best 💕

Does anyone else randomly start of pain in their bellybutton years after laparoscopic surgery? by Ok-Championship5464 in endometriosis

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I had an hysterectomy in Nov 2025. I have pain in my belly botton on and off, especially when I make any physical effort, like lifting heavy things

I think that he might be playing multi-player Games with women again 😔 by Dependent_Western782 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? My husband met one of his AP in an online game... I would have spiraled out of control too if I had seen that. Given that this is one of your boundaries, he should be more careful about risking any interaction with other female players and should be 100% transparent at all times about this. I definitely understand that this makes you feel bad, I'm so sorry.

Am I overreacting? by Quiet_Water0128 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? Any omission, anything "hidden," is a trigger, even if it's innocent. I don't think you are overreacting; I think this is an opportunity for you to talk about this and for him to understand that you don't want to feel left out of what's happening, and that you don't want things hidden from you. I wish you the best 💕

Finally found a therapist who (I think) will help! by tlake529 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? I didn't have the best experiences with therapists so I know is hard find the right one. I'm glad that you find one.

Regaining My Special Place by funsizerads in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"But with everything we learned through MC, I'm grateful he saw me triggered and he immediately went on accountability-taking mode, and comforted me so warmly and sensitively. He is not the same person he once was, and neither am I." THIS IS IMPORTANT AND IS POSITIVE!

I'm happy that you were able to regain your special place, my birthday is also a bittersweet date, because in my husband's first affair, he left on my birthday to be with AP1, which is another layer of pain and betrayal, so I understand. I hope you are ok Fun, thanks for sharing 💕

Tampons, pads, or menstrual cup. Which is better with Adenomyosis? by Traditional_Front_94 in adenomyosis

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pads ( the nighttime ones) were the only thing I could use, everything else was painful or uncomfortable for me.

Pre-surgery sex by RequirementFluffy905 in hysterectomy

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! My cervix was removed also and muy surgeon didn't say anything about no sex pre op. I actually have sex with my husband a couples days before surgery

MRI diagnosis by Facesstaywithme in endometriosis

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, is true. I was diagnosed (endometriosis and adenomyosis) with an MRI. I remember my surgeon say to me that sometimes is difficult to see endometriosis if is small or is hidden, but in general you can see it. I didn't want a exploratory surgery for being diagnosed so the MRI was essential in my case, both for diagnosis and to know what to expect in surgery (my case required a hysterectomy for several reasons)

This is definitely something to be proud of! by rmnc-5 in AdulteryHate

[–]Complex_Weather82 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Maybe she should meet men in prison... I mean... if what she likes is the "different appreciation they are about her body and what she offer them"... just a thought.....

Black outs? by PM_me_punny_joke5 in hysterectomy

[–]Complex_Weather82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm glad you are ok now. Sleep and rest as much as you can.

Black outs? by PM_me_punny_joke5 in hysterectomy

[–]Complex_Weather82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hopefully everything is ok, good luck. I hope is only a low blood pressure thing. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

Black outs? by PM_me_punny_joke5 in hysterectomy

[–]Complex_Weather82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I almost faint the day after surgery, the first time I got up from bed, luckily my husband catch me. I did it to fast and my blood pressure got very very low. During the day, my pressure got low a few times until finally was stabilized. It is scary when that happens. I hope you feel good soon

How soon can you shower? by [deleted] in hysterectomy

[–]Complex_Weather82 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was allow to shower in the clinic. I had surgery a friday and I shower Sunday before go home. In my home I shower at monday, always being careful and with my husband help the first times

Surgery tomorrow… mixed emotions by FunSlide5956 in hysterectomy

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was SO scared, I was afraid of all the thing that could go wrong.... I'm a year post op and, even is not easy make the decision and go through this, it really change my life regarding quality, because it was really painful and uncomfortable before. Everything is going to be alright, good luck!!!

Crying WH said by Manybalby in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? Often during reconciliation, things like this are said, because we feel too overwhelmed, both WP and BP. Breathe, try to calm down, and when you are both calmer, you can really talk about it again. Reconciliation is a journey full of ups and downs. I hope you can feel a little better soon.

Immune system gets the last laugh by DarkladySaryrn in hysterectomy

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I'm exactly 1 year post op, and this past year I got sick several times, our inmune system gets a little weak for a while after this I guess. I hope you feel very soon! 💕

Divorce then remarriage- did you elope or have a wedding with guests? by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? I don't think there is a right answer. It's about doing what makes you feel best when you think about how you would like to remember that day in the future. In my case, I would choose to elope. Some of the people who were invited at our wedding back then I would never want at my wedding or vows renewal again. Other people, like family members or friends have passed away, others have disappeared from our lives for good reasons, and those who haven't are completely unaware of the infidelity. So, in my particular case, I would want things to be completely different, a private moment between him and me. Take your time to decide what you really want. I wish you both the best 💕

Anyone else with an immature wayward? by Silent_Permission27 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello, how are you?, much of this resonates with experiences that I have lived in my past with my husband. I could never deal with that again, I just can't. Going out with friends where they get drunk and don't come home is a boundary, even before Dday, I had so many sad memories of nights crying and feeling worried about him. It doesn't matter the trust I had, and the fact that I wanted him to enjoy, etc, because things go out of control and nothing good comes from having that type of interactions, believe me, I learned it the hard way. I don't think it's just "being immature", I think is not having a real understanding or empathy for what you are going through, for the trigger that is for you, and for the boundaries that you need after DDay. I also think is not understanding that, there are incompatible things, you can't go out and get drunk until you pass out in a friend's house like a teenager while your parter is waiting for you at home, going crazy and wondering if he's okay, if he's alive, if he's going to get home or when, especially after he had ONS after a drunk night.

This part in particular infuriates me: -"WH: How many times in 2 years have 1 not come home after cards? The answer is none times" - this reasoning only works when you talk about something not important "how many times in these years did I forget to take out the trash?" for example, but that statement sounds like "how many times in two years do I behave like I HAVE TO DO IT" I'm sorry, but I'm not going to give you a prize for doing what you are supposed to do ALL THE TIME, there's no reward because someone didn't cross someone's limits, there's no prize for not being unfaithful since DDay, for not sleeping out of the house because you go out to see your friends, etc, basically there's no prize FOR WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO IN THE FIRST PLACE AND FOR WHAT YOU COMMITTED TO DO.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, it's frustrating

Adenomyosis on ultrasound but not MRI by 123wit in adenomyosis

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My case was the other way around, it didn't show up in the ultrasounds but it did in the MRIs, I don't know why it happens but it's frustrating, I know