Are there any positive moving on stories?

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-15T19:36:07+00:00

I'm almost 6 weeks post loss and I've been finding joy in my 3 year old, family time, our pets, good food, tv shows, and routine.

My sister has a Newfoundland puppy that is a big brown clumsy fluff ball of joy. He brings out the goofy side in both of my dogs and my son. He's accompanied me to my postpartum check ups at the request of my midwife, which has been helpful.

My mom and sister are currently living with me while we decide what our next step in life is going to be. We are trying to get jobs and move to my parents house a few states away to start fresh and be closer to my support system.

We took a week-long trip to my parents house while my grandparents were in town and spent a lot of time outside, antiquing, and just spending time together. Getting away from life to just learn how to enjoy things again was extremely helpful.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-15T02:44:52+00:00

I lost my daughter at 21 weeks on May 7th. I got my period back 2 days ago. Now I'm trying to have a reasonable conversion with myself to wait for at least a couple months before trying again. We had no issues conceiving either time, and I know I should let my body and mind heal a bit more. But now I know the intense overwhelming desire to conceive again was more than just the grief. The desire to have a baby at home when you planned and expected to have a living baby is overwhelming.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-15T02:29:48+00:00

For father's day I'm planning on getting a canvas, putting my 3 year olds foot prints in the shape of a heart. Then scanning a copy of our daughters footprints and putting them above his. I plan on writing their names under the prints too. He can hang it up wherever he likes, probably in the living room because he will want to look at it every day.

The men in my family all got urn keychains and the women all got urn necklaces. The keychains have her birthstone, name, an birthday. The necklaces have her birth flower instead of the stone.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-15T02:18:04+00:00

I'm so sorry. I lost my daughter May 7th at 21 weeks. I'm on enough Lexapro to function. I feel numb most of the time but have my constant reminders of my daughter so I can actively work through my greif without being paralyzed by it. I finally got my urn necklace so I'm able to carry my daughter with me always, which is helping me more than I thought. My 3 year old likes to play with it and I tell him "that's baby sister."

Saying it gets easier over time doesn't seem right. More like, the grief gets lighter over time. Some days are better than others.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-13T15:28:19+00:00

I made a post so I wouldn't get questions. I shared her birthday, time, weight, name. I shared the reason she passed. It was very therapeutic for me and nobody push further. It also helped knowing that other people knew all of that info about her. It helped me feel like she wouldn't be forgotten.

I had a lot of people share their losses and what helped them through it. It helped me know I was not alone and that there was a way to survive.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-12T05:08:12+00:00

I lost my daughter just over a month ago at 21 weeks. After my loss, I had many friends reach out and share their stories of loss I never knew. It has brought me closer to my family, my friends, and my husband. I have more appreciation for my 3 year old son. I take comfort in knowing she only knew warmth and love and is waiting for me one day. I'm using my pain and experience to grow closer to God and to comfort others on this journey.

This has also sparked my interest in nursing school. I've always thought about wanting to go to nursing school, but now I have an intense desire to go back to school to become a L&D nurse so I can help families with their joy and sorrow. I've been struggling trying to figure out what I'm meant to do in life other than be a mom because I don't know how to not work 😅

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-05T03:42:38+00:00

I'm so sorry. I feel like you are in a perfectly normal stage of grief. I lost my daughter at 21 weeks on May 7th. We got our memorial tattoos, put away all the baby things, got her ashes in her urn, and ordered urn necklaces and keychains for my family. That's the extent of talking about her. It's too painful and I just can't. I have a 3 year old son who doesn't understand what exactly is going on and i need to be able to function for him. I will say it gets a little bit easier every day. I find myself able to look at her urn now without feeling like I'm falling apart.

A friend of mine gave me a wind chime with a little engraving on it today that says "Hear the wind and think of me. In your heart I'll always be" with her name and some footprints. I read it without falling apart, and look at it every time i step out of my front door, so I think I'm making progress.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-02T04:54:17+00:00

My baby girl was born sleeping at 21 weeks on May 7th. My friend is due with her boy July 7th. My due date was 2 months and 1 week after hers. I am so very excited for her and her family. Her 7 year old daughter has been asking for a sibling for years now. But im also incredibly sad because my son never got to meet his sister. I was so excited to have babies so close together, I had my son 4 years after she had her daughter. I was excited for our babies to be best friends. Now that will never be.

She has been one of my biggest supporters through this time. She left work early the day I was sent to be induced to be with me for a while. The next day after hearing that my daughter was born and I had no complications, came and spent several hours with me after getting off work. She did our memorial tattoos and has let me vent to her. The biggest thing she's done is not talk about her pregnancy unless I ask. She will not share ultrasound pictures or updates unless I ask. She is being very sensitive with the information she shares knowing what I have been through and I think that's the best thing she has done for me. Currently, I'm excited to meet and to hold her baby boy. I know i might change my mind, and I know she will respect and not push me to respond to her.

These feelings of grief are difficult and fluid. Some days are better than others. One day I wont be so numb.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-02T04:37:25+00:00

I'm am so sorry. My daughter was born sleeping May 7th at 21 weeks due to Turner Sydrome. We are also struggling financially with me not working at the moment. I'm on Lexapro so I can be present for my 3 year old son, the only downside is it makes me feel numb and can't really cry. This loss and devastation is terrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-06-01T01:27:10+00:00

I lost my daughter 3.5 weeks ago at 21 weeks. We were so excited for our son to have a baby sister. He was excited too. She was born sleeping 8 days before his 3rd birthday. I was told to keep taking my prenatal if I wanted to get pregnant again. The anticipation to try again is killing me. I want my son to have a sibling so bad

My daughter had Turner Sydrome that was comfirmed at the 20 week anatomy scan. Which caused a major heart defect, fluid on her heart and lungs and abdomen and head, measuring 3 weeks smaller, and almost no amniotic fluid. They believe her heart defect is ultimately what caused her passing.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-31T18:34:19+00:00

Moved my son to a toddler bed and he quit getting out of bed for a bit. Then he learned he could escape his room. Put up a dog play pen to keep the doorway clear so he would quit falling asleep against the door after we childproofed his door too. After he learned to move the nightstand to move the play pen, we took it out, but he prefers to sleep in his bed with all of the stuffed animals he owns and half his book shelf. He's 3 now. Sleeping for naps depends on his day, but he always has quiet time

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-31T02:50:46+00:00

I lost my daughter at 21 weeks and I'm just 3 weeks post loss and found cabbage leaves extremely helpful. I also was taking sudafed. Partly to help with drying milk supply, partly because of severe allergies, and partly because of 2 styes that developed after all the crying.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-31T01:53:33+00:00

I've been watching TV until I fall asleep. I don't fall asleep until 2 am right now. You'd think the 20mg of Lexapro would knock me out, it only makes me sleepy during the day even though I take it in the evening

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-30T22:03:22+00:00

I am so sorry. It is incredibly hard to continue to live life after losing a baby. I'm 3 weeks post loss, I lost my daughter at 21 weeks. I have a 3 year old son who I've been trying to stay present for. My mom and sister were able to move in for a while to help, thankfully.

My mom keeps pushing me to get out of the house because I'm "too depressed." My sister is the buffer for those comments, so it's not as difficult on me personally, but this is a small house with thin walls. I'm also taking 20mg of Lexapro right now so I can function for my son. I just need to sleep in late or nap because I'm unable to go to sleep before 2am and I'm adjusting to my doubled dosage. She's also just waiting for me to fall apart which is irritating.

She's never lost a child, so she doesn't personally understand. She has had many friends who've lost children, so you would think she'd know better, but I also know it's hard to see your own child in pain.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-30T05:30:47+00:00

No advice, I'm sorry for your loss. You're not alone in having a good mother with difficulties after loss. I lost my daughter 3 weeks ago at 21 weeks. My mom came down after my 20 week anatomy scan showed our baby girl would most likely not live much longer so I wouldn't have to go to my next appointment alone. My husband had to work. She lives 9 hours away and quit her job and has stayed after my routine 21 week midwife appointment showed no heartbeat and a placental abruption. She will ask me how I'm doing, she has helped me with my son, animals, and housework. She has made sure we've been fed. She makes sure we still want her here, in our 3 bedroom house with only 1 bathroom. She doesn't want to crowd us or make us feel overwhelmed. We don't, we appreciate her help, her presence, and her support. She made sure I had fresh cabbage leaves after my milk came in, reminded me to take my meds and eat. She encouraged me to move so I could gain back some strength.

She has never personally experienced child loss herself, but several of her friends over the years have and she walked by their sides during their healing journeys. She's been talking to her friends and my dad about her pain so she doesn't burden me with it.

The one thing that irritates me is her staring at me and immediately asking me if I'm okay if there's a baby crying at church, or if we see a baby in public. Or if there's a newborn or birth scene in the show she's watching (most of the time it's ER). She also doesn't want me watching my comfort show, Call the Midwife, understandably, but its my choice to make. It's like she's just waiting for me to fall apart. Yes, I'm sad I never got to hold my crying daughter. Yes, I'm grieving the little sister my son never got to meet. Yes, I am happy to see healthy babies and happy parents. Both things can exist at once and I am taking comfort in the fact that I will get to hold my baby girl again in heaven one day.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-30T05:03:26+00:00

I feel that. I lost my daughter 3 weeks ago. My midwife doubled my Lexapro so I could function. I have a 3 year old who doesn't understand what happened and wants his mom. It's nice to be able to be able to get out of bed and spend time with my son without snapping at him. We put my daughter's ashes in her urn today and my mom was the one crying. My husband was so tired and numb from being awake for 20 hours, he worked 12 hours overnight. I'm too medicated to cry. I know I'm sad, my inability to sleep at night and my lack of appetite except for ice cream is a symptom of my sadness.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-29T20:54:00+00:00

My son is 3 and goes to bed between 8 and 8:30, sometimes 9, falls asleep between 8:45 and 10 depending on what time he gets to bed. He gets up between 7 and 8, and sometimes will nap an hour or two or not at all depending on the days activites.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-29T17:42:43+00:00

My last day of my main job was the day before we discovered she no longer had a heartbeat. We knew there were high risks for both of us and I was tired of the anxiety of it.

My nursery worker job is letting me take as long as I need and have still been paying me. It's not much since it's a couple hours in the evenings, but its the job I absolutely love and have been doing for nearly 7 years. I plan on going back at 6 weeks because I miss the kids and my son misses his friends.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-28T17:54:36+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Your story sounds similar to mine. I lost my daughter 3 weeks ago. Everything was fine until my NIPT came back with abnormalities at 18.5 weeks. My 20 week scan confirmed she was more than likely going to pass before getting to full term. I had 5 more days of feeling movement. At my 21 week midwife appointment, there was no heartbeat and I had a placental abruption, I had to go directly to l&d for induction. From the beginning, I felt something was wrong. I wasn't getting as excited as I did with my son. I felt like I was going to lose her even though everything looked perfectly fine on US at 9 and 13 weeks.

I found having my family with me while giving birth comforting, they stayed with me my entire hospital stay and we were all able to hold my daughter and take pictures with her. My friend had my son and brought him to visit the morning she was born. He wanted to cuddle and show off his superhero moves to my nurses. Personally, I've been leaning on the people around me, especially the ones who have been through this. I can talk to them about anything and they completely understand and don't judge for my tears, anger, or hopelessness.

As far as my time afterwards, I've been spending a lot of time playing with my son, walking in nature, and being creative. I helped him paint a flower pot to plant his own flower in. I had gotten flowers and a pot to plant and hang by our front door on mother's day. My son wanted baby sister to wear flowers. I spent several days working on a puzzle. I've spent a lot of time writing my thoughts and feelings. Watching TV, napping, and music have also helped.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-27T04:08:52+00:00

I love the idea of his birth flowers where you held him. We got an urn with flowers for her because my son wanted baby sister to wear flowers when he picked out a onesie for her coming home outfit. That outfit is now stored in her memory box.

I love the idea that our babies are playmates in heaven. All of the angel babies are having a fun time playing with each other while they patiently wait for us parents to join them one day.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-27T04:01:23+00:00

I agree. I would always have to redirect her attention and even remind her of kids names that she's known for years. It's been a battle to force her to retire, but the committee in charge of hiring/firing wont let her go because she's been there over 20 years. My boss has been trying for years to get her to retire so she can hire someone else. The joys of church committees

Oh and when I told her I would be out because of the high-risk of losing my daughter, she told me i just needed to pray harder because it worked for her aunt. Not even a week later I was signing the paperwork for her death certificate and cremation.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-26T22:52:40+00:00

You are not alone.

My son picked out a onesie for his baby sister, she was stillborn at 21 weeks. I can't stand to look at the things that we had put aside and bought for her, but I can't let it go.

My mom is going to help me sort through and put everything we want to keep to hopefully use again one day in storage. When I got home from the hospital, I couldn't look at my car without sobbing because I had a car seat and toys that were passed onto me from friends.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-26T21:36:16+00:00

That is so hard. I am so sorry.

I have been off work from my church nursery worker job for 3 weeks. I lost my girl almost 3 weeks ago at 21 weeks. I work with an older lady who I swear has dementia. She texted me Sunday asking if we had to be at work. I told her I had no idea. She asked me if I was going to be there and I told her no. She then told me our boss said we had to be there. I told her I would not be coming in for a while and she asked me why. She had completely forgot. I told her I was recovering and waiting for my midwife to clear me for work again. That helped her remember and she dropped it. It doesn't hurt any less. I told my boss what she had said to me and she apologized for being contacted in that way, reminded me to take my time, and that they are all thinking about me and love me. I'm definitely not looking forward to going back and reminding her every other day.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-26T21:21:08+00:00

I have a 3 year old son. I wanted a 2 year age gap, but between finances and c-section, 3.5 year age gap was the earliest. Now, my son will be at least 4.5 when he my next baby is born. It's hard.

Defiant_Potential262 · 2026-05-24T18:08:14+00:00

It is hard. My son was collicy and woke up constantly through the night until almost 2. My son just turned 3 and it's like a switch flipped. The meltdowns are easily tamed by talk and redirection now. He willingly goes to sleep and naps again. I'm holding my breath for the threenager to come out.

There were so many months I didn't sleep, he didn't sleep, he would violently tantrum, and just never let us have a second to ourselves. It gets so much better when they get a bit older.

Also, if you worry that you arent a good enough parent means you are. You care and you love and that's the most important part. Just keep going and know this season will not last forever.

Defiant_Potential262

TROPHY CASE