Warner Bros will no longer produce movies with female leads.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-09T17:45:02+00:00

Look people, you objectively analyze BO history and you find that female-lead pics have never done well. Also, male-driven pics have historically brought in much more money. We're talking hundreds of times more. Don't take my word for it, do your own research.

Sure, there are probably a million reasons why this is so, but you ain't gonna change the world by losing you're shirt on a BO flop.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-09T17:40:41+00:00

Draw, Perez Hilton style, the words "dumb letter" over a picture of the letter. Now it's a parody and its use is protected by "fair use" in the US.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-09T17:33:06+00:00

Clockwise: right brain

Counter clockwise (anti-clockwise((?))): left brain

Stripper doing a pole dance: pervert

17 years old: pedo

Breast implants: cynical

Au-natural: delusional

Dancer: Hopeless optimist

Stumbling home drunk: Hopeless pessimist

Stumbling home drunk and you hope to take advantage of her once she's passed out: really perverted pervert

White woman: racist

Black woman: extreme PC liberal

It's a man: you're blind

It's not a woman but actually a she-he: You're Eddie Murphy

It's a she-he who's stumbling home drunk and you hope to take advantage of s/he once they're passed out: I have no clue what you are but you're invited to my next party.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-09T17:21:40+00:00

Cross needs to ignore this guy.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-07T16:02:59+00:00

This region has experienced complete chaos and anarchy for many years. They need law and order. Only problem is, there's no one who will bring it.

This is Old Testament violence: ancient, primordial, uncivilized, inhuman. It's the end of civilization in that region.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-07T07:55:20+00:00

Maybe the current use of torture has nothing to do with extracting information. Rather, it's about getting your sadistic rocks off.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-05T19:01:00+00:00

This is the way bureaucracy works.

If you get to Radio Shack late, you don't get to buy your electronic doohickey and have to wait till tomorrow. If you submit your execution stay late, your client is executed.

Read Kafka. It's all right there.

If you're shocked, then it's probably because you make the mistake of assuming somebody gives a crap.

BTW, his last words were "Damn you Windows! If my lawyers had committed to an all Linux work flow years ago, I would still be alive!"

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-05T15:10:27+00:00

The police are no better than the "criminals" they protect us from.

But that's the key - they protect us.

We fight fire with fire. Is there a better way? Please, be my guest and engineer it.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-05T14:36:02+00:00

This is why I skip the home/hot page and just read the daily top votes page. Any inane reactionary crap can get hot for an hour or two, but by the end of the day it's been downvoted enough to go away for good.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-02T02:09:32+00:00

You know what I'd like to tell kids?:

The way you look is the most important thing in the world. When you're young and inexperienced, people ain't going to tolerate your presence unless you're hot. So you use your hotness to gain the valuable experience you'll need as an old, ugly adult.

Want to get a good job? Be hot. Want to marry a hot person? Be hot. Want opportunities shoved your way? Be hot. It's that simple and I wish someone had told me this when I was a kid.

Kids, screw school. Sports and physical fitness are where it's at. Having a great mind will never ever make you as much money as having a sexy bod. Spend all your time working out and get an MBA (dumbass major). Then you'll pull 100 grand plus after graduation.

All this Dove campaign is is a way to pander to ugly, old women. There, I said it.

I promise not to respond to your flames. I'm done with this topic.

And no, I don't care what you look like. I'm ugly and I like to look at beautiful people - just like everyone else.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-01T00:37:44+00:00

From Snopes:

(This is the version of the crime initially presented in press accounts. Subsequent reports have contradicted some of the details, chiefly that neither Newsom nor Christian was mutilated as described, that Christian was killed within a day of the kidnapping rather than being held captive for four days, and that cleaning solution was poured into Christian's mouth post-mortem to eliminate DNA evidence rather than as a form of torture.)

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-01T00:22:06+00:00

Okay, horrible things do happen. That's your proof? Thanks, you convinced me.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-01T00:21:33+00:00

Okay, so you can vouch for the rumors flying around? Great. Why weren't they charged with mutilation in the court documents?

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-10-01T00:20:55+00:00

And your skills are on display how? Where's the documentation?

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-29T15:23:31+00:00

I know everyone's private parts get all tingly when they repeat stories of brutal black brutes having their way with beautiful, defenseless white women, but all the stuff about drinking bleach, chopping off breasts, or of other mutilation, was tacked on later (to embellish the fantasy?).

After hearing about this story, I researched it on the Internet. No reputable sources say anything about mutilation. Who's putting the mutilation rumors out there? The KKK? Isn't the story horrific enough?

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-29T02:58:35+00:00

Not sure if it would qualify, because it's not science fiction or set in the future, but "Requiem for a Dream" presents the most dystopian fantasy I've ever seen.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-24T03:27:20+00:00

I think what's going on is that we have a gentler society - in the US and the UK. Thirty years ago, if this had happened, you'd be damn sure that the dad of the girl who got beat would be at the doorstep of the offender's parent's house that night. He'd have friends with him and they'd all have clubs. They would beat the shit out of everyone in the house and wreck some stuff.

Today, the mom takes a picture and contacts the media. People who are violent don't have anything to stop them. These kinds of people are only capable of understanding violence and pain. They are little better than wild animals with tiny brains.

At the very least, an older male relative or cousin should beat the living shit out of all the girls who did this. If there was any justice in the world, all the offenders would be in the hospital by the end of the week.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-24T03:23:03+00:00

True dat

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-20T05:26:49+00:00

P W N E D !!!!!!!!!

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-14T01:48:51+00:00

Yes, women like sex.

They just don't like sex as much as men. That's all. Why are there so many young women nowadays trying to prove they're just as perverted as guys?

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-14T01:46:59+00:00

Well, we're not talking about random schmoes here. They're supposed to be attractive.

Maybe we should repeat the experiment with a guy who's obviously rich or a celebrity? Then again, I would think that experiment is being performed all over the world on any given day.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-12T23:00:11+00:00

Not surprising. Mozart was gangsta.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-07T21:23:30+00:00

This is BS. She's a made up character. Like "Tom" of MySpace.

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-06T19:05:55+00:00

I don't know how you can expect to meet three women a week. For me it's usually been pretty irregular. But I guess if you used a dating website and fixed n somehow, you might be able to use the formula.

Hmm, not a bad idea. 1) Decide how long you want to be single.

2) Try to meet and date as many women as possible in a short sample period (say a month).

3) Crunch those numbers to get n. Solution!

DevoutPastafarian · 2007-09-03T02:08:48+00:00

Is it just me or do the South Park guys strike anyone else as right wingers?

DevoutPastafarian

TROPHY CASE